926 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Okay so we're both 20. We only went out for about 5 months. In all honesty, we didn't fight much..maybe once a month. But it all ended with a really big fight. It was really ugly. We tried talking after that, but it wasn't once a month fighting, it was EVERY time we talked we'd argue about something and it would always escalate to something BIG. I hated it, but it was the only way we ever talked. This went on for a month!! She had told me that less than a WEEK after we broke up she had already met someone. I didn't believe her for a second. I strongly believe she made a fake FB account and was talking to me like it was her "boyfriend". I could tell it was her sending the messages just by the way it was typed out. Fighting went on for another 2 weeks or so. I read somewhere that girls really liked when guys remembered dates and anniveraries. I tried getting her back by reminding her about (what would have been) our 6 month anniversary. I actually did remember it. I didn't say anything on the actually day, but after casual conversation with her that day, she said happy anniversary, and asked me if I wanted to skype her. She's also asked me to skype her like twice and said how she's naked and lonely, etc etc. But then the next second she reminds me how much she hates me and has no feelings for me....But anyways, she ignored me for a couple days later, went on vacations, other stuff. She'd always return my messages though. About two weeks ago she told me how she has been talking to this other guy who lives across the country. She claimed he was JUST a friend and they were going to hang out over the 4th..... well, a couple days before the 4th she decides to tell me how she thinks he's "really cute and we might hook up fyi" and that she'd send me a picture of them together for "justification that he actually exists". So she came back from her vacation or whatever and kept on messaging me... she told me how she went from NY to Conneticutt to see him!!!! and how they took a 7 hour drive to his friends wedding, and how they drove around where she grew up, and had an amazing time. all this other stuff too. When i get upset, i just get really quiet.. i didn't say anything, and had a hard time hanging up the phone while she was telling me because i miss her so much and i love hearing her voice. It's pathetic i know..... Well, i finally hung up the phone and she calls back. I ignore and she sends me a text saying "oh sorry did the signal go out?" then 5 minutes later "i had a funny story about the wedding to tell you" .. then 4 mins later after that "did I say something wrong :/ ?" ... i didn't answer her texts at all. It was finally sinking in. Earlier that day she told me how it was her last night with him ... i know what the freaking means. they were together, probably getting naughty, sleeping in bed together, and him and her waking up next to eachother in bed!!! I called her probably 4 times that night. she didn't answer. It absolutely killed me knowing she's with some other guy and they're sleeping together. It hurt me so bad, but at the same time the feeling sunk in and I almost stopped caring. This is all the same day as the phone call. That night I talked to this girl I had met (no interest in dating at all, just a friend) and she had told me how she doesn't want me back, but wants to keep me on a leash incase things go wrong with her new boyfriend, and all this other advice.. she told me to completely ignore her and if fate has it, she'll come back..... so that's exactly what I've been doing. She called 4 times the next day (yesterday) throughout the day. I didn't answer any of them. It almost felt really good. Today she called once , but i didn't answer. I absolutely love this girl and believe she is my soul mate.. but how can she tell me these things that hurt me so bad, like literally ripping me heart out and stabbing it. I'm a sensitive guy, but it takes a lot for me to cry. she's been asolutley tearing me apart and I feel like its partially my fault for allowing her to. I WANT HER BACK, but i don't think I can EVER forgive her for being with (supposedly) two other guys and saying all these extremely hurtful things to me. What do i do!?!?!? do I keep ignoring her? For how long? What do i do! How do I know if she TRULY wants me back and wants a full relationship again
Samilia Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Meh... the relationship seems to be damaged beyond repairs. You were butt-heading on a daily basis, I think you're only remembering the good stuff. She's got a new guy and she's keeping you on the back burner. I wouldn't waste time on it.
Author 926 Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 Well the thing is though, she is in NY and he was in Hawaii
salmagundi Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 my two cents? twenty is to young to be talking about soul mates. girls in their early twenties are generally complete flakes. So are guys, come to think of it. 5 months isn't long enough of a relationship to get all worked up about losing her. I just skimmed your post (paragraph breaks man!) but did I catch that she was with two other guys? Not soul mate material and why bother getting her back only to rinse and repeat this process in another six months?
spives Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I absolutely love this girl and believe she is my soul mate.. but how can she tell me these things that hurt me so bad, like literally ripping me heart out and stabbing it. I'm a sensitive guy, but it takes a lot for me to cry. she's been absolutley tearing me apart and I feel like its partially my fault for allowing her to. I WANT HER BACK, but i don't think I can EVER forgive her for being with (supposedly) two other guys and saying all these extremely hurtful things to me. What do i do!?!?!? do I keep ignoring her? For how long? What do i do! How do I know if she TRULY wants me back and wants a full relationship again Soul mates do not exist. For every one girl you find who is a good match for you there are literally thousands of others who will be as good or better for you. Feelings of desperation are what you are experiencing. If she is treating you like ****, it's for one of two reasons: 1) She's testing you. Women instinctively do this to assess your worth; your ability to handle yourself and your emotional fortitude. Ideally, you pass these tests with ease by not letting anything she says phase you in any way because you recognize that she is indeed testing you. Arguing, becoming hyper defensive, throwing fits and crying immediately register in her brain as signs of lower value and those are not attractive. 2) She has no respect for you and she's using you as a punching bag. This usually isn't the case at first, but failing enough "tests" as outlined in example 1 will eventually lead to a decline in respect and a total loss of attraction. Regardless of whether 1 or 2 describes your situation best, if she has been with two other guys since you broke up, you need to move on. Do you honestly think that you deserve to be treated badly by this girl? Fighting and arguing is one thing, but if she's sleeping with other people now, she has not only lost respect for you but her attraction for you is long gone as well. You aren't going to want to hear this, but even if you can convince her to come back, it's not going to last. Her image of you is irreversibly tainted. She isn't your soul mate and no girl worth your time would treat you like she has treated you. You are probably feeling helpless and desperate and working yourself into a panic worrying about losing her forever. That's completely normal. It's time to calm down, have a beer, and realize that it's all in your head. She's not the only girl out there for you. You will find someone else and they will be better that you can imagine right now. It's simple mathematics. 1
Chi townD Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Holy Crap! Dude, this girl has no moral compass! I mean, Christ you two were in a relationship and now she's rubbing this guy in your face! Sending you pictures of them together! Telling you about being his date at a wedding. I'm surprised she didn't send you a pic of them having sex! And she had the gall to text you "Did I say something wrong!" REALLY?!?! Hell yes! I thought I've seen the worst of disrespect. She is at the TOP! Dude, write her off. Ignore her, block her on Facebook. Cut her out of your life. And here's the deal. When she gets back and he goes back to Hawaii, she will blow up your phone. CHANGE YOUR DAMN NUMBER NOW!!! Heal, let go and move on.
salmagundi Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 yeah seriously...your relationship is over but you still have a chance to keep your balls...
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