Exit Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 "As long as someone is in love with you and lifts you up, then you have a substitute for (what's missing). But when the "new" wears off from that, and you don’t have that special feeling anymore, you need to go get that filled up again. You are confusing love with infatuation. You are confusing falling in love with being in love. You have a very immature approach to relationships." (He said this to a woman who was getting married for the 11th time!) Heard him say that when I caught the end of an episode on TV the other day. Maybe it's moreso my age group of the 20 somethings, but I think a LOT of people confuse falling in love with being in love. People are constantly chasing those chemicals and feelings that you experience when things are new. For some people, the second you start to transition into the more comfortable stage, they mistake that for a loss of feelings or "love you but not in love with you". If you've ever had the type of ex who has someone new in days or weeks and you see it on FB or hear from friends that they are sooo happy and having the time of their lives, maybe they're lying, or maybe they actually believe it, because they're getting their "high" again. I suppose we are all guilty of it in some way I realize there's a period in my past where I kept getting hooked on the next girl who came along and though all my problems were solved. Now I know that's not true at all. 4
Ponzzz Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I couldn't agree more. She broke it off with me for this exact reason(plus the transition to a 45 minute drive away instead of a block away). Someday she will learn what she was confusing but what can you actually do in these situations? It's just best to move on and what will come will come eventually.
nothuman Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 what's your personal e-mail? it doesn't let me contact you through here because I need to be an avid user on this in order to gain the "PM" option.
Author Exit Posted July 27, 2012 Author Posted July 27, 2012 Whoooa not human has resurfaced. I kept wondering what happened to you lol. I'd rather not post my email here and I can't PM you either because of your low post count. Maybe I'm wrong but I think you only need 5 or 10 posts to earn full messaging privelages?
jgregory4614 Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Very true. My sister and I were both talking about this regaurding my wife. Everything in the Dr. Phil qoute is exactly what my wife is doing and has done in the past. She's a "lives for the moment" type of person. I don't think she will ever have a clue to what she doing to herself By the way nice post!
Freckas Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 I agree with you aswell, my friend is the kind of guy that really moves on and fast it worries me. He seems to not be sad for long though which may be why he continues this pattern.
Jamesblame Posted July 27, 2012 Posted July 27, 2012 Agree one hundred percent. I've had a few relationships where the reason we split was because she wasn't feeling the same emotions as when we first started dating. I was like..ooookkkkk :/ Some people just aren't ready for real relationships though, and that's just one risk you take when starting a relationship.
MissBee Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 "As long as someone is in love with you and lifts you up, then you have a substitute for (what's missing). But when the "new" wears off from that, and you don’t have that special feeling anymore, you need to go get that filled up again. You are confusing love with infatuation. You are confusing falling in love with being in love. You have a very immature approach to relationships." (He said this to a woman who was getting married for the 11th time!) Heard him say that when I caught the end of an episode on TV the other day. Maybe it's moreso my age group of the 20 somethings, but I think a LOT of people confuse falling in love with being in love. People are constantly chasing those chemicals and feelings that you experience when things are new. For some people, the second you start to transition into the more comfortable stage, they mistake that for a loss of feelings or "love you but not in love with you". If you've ever had the type of ex who has someone new in days or weeks and you see it on FB or hear from friends that they are sooo happy and having the time of their lives, maybe they're lying, or maybe they actually believe it, because they're getting their "high" again. I suppose we are all guilty of it in some way I realize there's a period in my past where I kept getting hooked on the next girl who came along and though all my problems were solved. Now I know that's not true at all. My last ex was like this. He would try to reconcile with me, give up because it was too hard and literally a week later was fully in another relationship, that would go on for 3 months, he'd try to come back to me again, it wouldn't work, and then again, in a week or two, new girlfriend, saying he is so happy and in love...rinse and repeat. We broke up 3 years ago and he has had a string of relationships since and is now engaged, and I'm sorry, but I doubt he has mysteriously matured in between girlfriend number 9 and his fiance. He told me once that he fell out of love easily...and it all makes sense that if you are one who chases the high of new love, that of course you have no longevity and you do "fall out of love" or better, move on, once the high wears off. I do think we're all guilty to an extent and I CRINGE at advice of "getting under someone new" etc. or telling someone to date as a way of easing their heartbreak. It's not good. No one can fill what's missing and it's better to hurt from a break up and learn bout yourself than running from one person to a next to feel good.
Sugarkane Posted July 29, 2012 Posted July 29, 2012 So true I was talking about this to my date the other night. Explaining why I've dated, but haven't found a lasting long term relationship. Everyone likes to give up after the honeymoon stage. My date totally agreed with me.
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