Adive needed I think ex has a new boyfriend

[k100danny]

So basically me and my ex broke up a month ago, she had gone away for the summer. we had argued a lot and only spoke a little bit after the break up then i tried to go nc, after around 4-7 days she would text saying hope you are ok then that was about it. 2 weeks ago i hadnt contacted her for 5 days and she sent a message saying i was still in her thoughts everyday and she hoped i was well. A few days later i text saying I had no hard feelings but i wouldnt be able to delete her from facebook so could she please do it and block me then i wouldnt be tempted to look as it was none of my business now. I made sure it wasn't a nasty message and I didn't get a reply.

 

Anyway around a week after that (a few days ago) I noticed she wasn't in my chat list, so I thought she must have blocked me and deleted me as i asked which is fair enough. There is one thing though, I still have lots of her stuff and she has a VERY expensive watch of mine she said straight after the break up she would send back so I tried to call to fin out she had now cut her phone off, I think **** how do i get this watch back, she is out of the country and i cant contact her but she hadnt actually blocked me.

 

I sent a message saying basically this, Hi i hope you're well, I noticed you weren't in my friends list and I just wanted to ask if you had had time to send my watch back, I understand you are busy But as I don't think we will speak much I just thought I should sort it out now and then I can drop all of your things at your friends like you asked.

 

She replied with hi, yes i deleted you because you asked me to, I havent sent the watch i havent had time but i will as soon as i can. cheers

 

I replied again saying I hope you didnt think of me as rude asking you to delete me it's just for my own good, until i can picture you being with someone else and there arent any feelings i just think it will be easier to move on. Anyway like I said i hope you are well and if you can send it back when you have a chance that would be great.

 

I didnt hear anything back, A few days go by and im not worried I don't think she would actually do anything to it and i think she will return it to me although i would have preffered her to have done this already. so im on facebook and I noticed she has commented on a mutal friends status and i think "WHO IS THAT IN THE PROFILE PIC" i clicked I know i shouldnt have but i did and its her in a bikini on a beach with a guy i knew she had met from the place she is staying, basically hand on his shoulder knelt between his legs, him without a shirt on as they are on the beach. Well i started to shake, started to feel sick. two weeks ago she is saying how im in her thoughts everyday, weve only been broken up 4 weeks.

 

Now my question is am i out of line sending her a message saying look I would really appreciate the watch back, I don't think it's a lot to ask. I was hurt by what you did and the fact youve moved on two weeks after telling me you think of me everyday and it seems you arent short of time to get to a post office. You are of course free to move on and i wish you well but please dont ever contact me again.

 

Is that too harsh of a thing to send? Is it wrong to let her know she hurt me? i know it should be no contact but I do really wan't this back, it is not a way of getting her to talk to me. I do feel like i deserve to tell her how she has made me feel though, I treat her like a princess while getting treat like **** in return a lot of the time, I sent her packages of things while she was away that she wanted which cost me a lot of money and a few weeks after she has a new boyfriend.

 

Sorry I'm ranting.

[livelife]

So basically me and my ex broke up a month ago, she had gone away for the summer. we had argued a lot and only spoke a little bit after the break up then i tried to go nc, after around 4-7 days she would text saying hope you are ok then that was about it. 2 weeks ago i hadnt contacted her for 5 days and she sent a message saying i was still in her thoughts everyday and she hoped i was well. A few days later i text saying I had no hard feelings but i wouldnt be able to delete her from facebook so could she please do it and block me then i wouldnt be tempted to look as it was none of my business now. I made sure it wasn't a nasty message and I didn't get a reply.

 

Anyway around a week after that (a few days ago) I noticed she wasn't in my chat list, so I thought she must have blocked me and deleted me as i asked which is fair enough. There is one thing though, I still have lots of her stuff and she has a VERY expensive watch of mine she said straight after the break up she would send back so I tried to call to fin out she had now cut her phone off, I think **** how do i get this watch back, she is out of the country and i cant contact her but she hadnt actually blocked me.

 

I sent a message saying basically this, Hi i hope you're well, I noticed you weren't in my friends list and I just wanted to ask if you had had time to send my watch back, I understand you are busy But as I don't think we will speak much I just thought I should sort it out now and then I can drop all of your things at your friends like you asked.

 

She replied with hi, yes i deleted you because you asked me to, I havent sent the watch i havent had time but i will as soon as i can. cheers

 

I replied again saying I hope you didnt think of me as rude asking you to delete me it's just for my own good, until i can picture you being with someone else and there arent any feelings i just think it will be easier to move on. Anyway like I said i hope you are well and if you can send it back when you have a chance that would be great.

 

I didnt hear anything back, A few days go by and im not worried I don't think she would actually do anything to it and i think she will return it to me although i would have preffered her to have done this already. so im on facebook and I noticed she has commented on a mutal friends status and i think "WHO IS THAT IN THE PROFILE PIC" i clicked I know i shouldnt have but i did and its her in a bikini on a beach with a guy i knew she had met from the place she is staying, basically hand on his shoulder knelt between his legs, him without a shirt on as they are on the beach. Well i started to shake, started to feel sick. two weeks ago she is saying how im in her thoughts everyday, weve only been broken up 4 weeks.

 

Now my question is am i out of line sending her a message saying look I would really appreciate the watch back, I don't think it's a lot to ask. I was hurt by what you did and the fact youve moved on two weeks after telling me you think of me everyday and it seems you arent short of time to get to a post office. You are of course free to move on and i wish you well but please dont ever contact me again.

 

Is that too harsh of a thing to send? Is it wrong to let her know she hurt me? i know it should be no contact but I do really wan't this back, it is not a way of getting her to talk to me. I do feel like i deserve to tell her how she has made me feel though, I treat her like a princess while getting treat like **** in return a lot of the time, I sent her packages of things while she was away that she wanted which cost me a lot of money and a few weeks after she has a new boyfriend.

 

Sorry I'm ranting.

 

I say go for it.

[Chi townD]

At this time. What's the point. To let her know that you're mad? The reason that she was contacting you in the first place is because she was hooking up with this guy and she was feeling guilty. Wondering if anyone dime her out to you. " Hi how are you doing? I hope you are okay." She was gauging where your head was at.

 

So, you send her a stern e-mail. The only thing you're going to accomplish is her justifying her actions. " See, this is why we broke up! Now, I don't feel bad about hooking up at the beach!"

 

Write the watch off as leasons learned and write this girl off too. If she contacts you about the watch. Only give one to two word responses.

[DMS]

I would say dont send it. What good is it going to do? She seems to have already moved on and I know from personal experience that at that point nothing you do or say can change that. The change if there is to be one has to start with her. I think that dumpers try the "I still think of you" line as a way to keep us hanging around incase the new relationship does not work. I know the watch is important to you but it might be best to drop her stuff off and set about to healing and moving on.

[k100danny]

I think the hooking up came after we last spoke, I know they had met but only very recently before we stopped speaking so I don't think she was contacting me out of guilt but i may be wrong. she did it several times aswell.

 

I understand the not thinking the sending the message saying im hurt but i definitely do want the watch back, If it didn't have sentimental value i wouldnt care, it is worth quite a lot of money around a $1000 but it's not the money, it was left to me in a will by a family member who passed away, this is the reason it's so special and the reason i gave it to her to prove i was commited to the relatioship (even though i regretted giving it to her as soon as i did haha) Just to note this wasnt a gift to her it was something to remind her of me while she was away thats all and she had stated straight after that she would ensure i got it back before i even mentioned it.

 

so back to what i was going to write, sorry guys I didnt have the strength to hold back and sent this message.

 

I don't want to sound like an arsehole but I would appreciate it if you could send the watch back to me. You said you had been busy but it will only take a few minutes and it is special to me. I Don't know why you felt the need to contact me telling me you thought about me everyday when clearly you are in another relationship. you are of course entitled to move on but Im just a bit shocked you contacted me only 2 weeks ago. You have the right to move on of course and be happy im just shocked.

 

then i felt bad and thought id lost some dignity and tried to claw it back (this might have been another mistake and i sent this.

 

I'm sorry if that message came off a little harsh I was a bit shocked even though I shouldnt be I think i had an idea and You know the watch is special to me and it seems we have now broken all ties. I don't hold a grudge against you for leaving or moving on, you did it to be happy and everyone deserves this. I would never wish bad on you. I hope you are happy and everything goes well, i will return you things to your friends house asap.you know i wouldnt do anything petty like keep them anyway. I know you will make sure i get the watch back it's not that i dont trust you I know that isnt you to keep something of someone elses I'd just rather it was back sooner than it turn up in a month or two and bring back memories if you get what i mean. I don't want a reply to this I am going to block you now and move on. I wih you luck for now and the future and maybe we will see each other again one day when we are both happily married. take care of youreself and enjoy your travels.

 

Then I clicked the BLOCK button. all ties have been broken now and i trust she will send the watch back at some point wether it is straight away I am not sure but I'm pretty sure it will arrive back here safe.I spoke with a friend about it and they said the same, if it comes back it does if it doesnt let it be a lesson which is how i will try and view it. We now have no way of contacting each other so this is hopefully the beginning, even though i'd been going no contact as best as i could i guess i hadnt had the final nail in the coffin and i now feel i have that. If when im over her and she is back in england im sure i will be able to speak to her and not hate her but until that day comes that is THE END as far as im concerned.

 

Thanks for letting me rant over the last month guys, always get good advice on here even if it is sometimes hard to follow. LS has served me well through two break ups now and hopefully It won't have to do too many more before i find someone and end up in a happy fulfilling relationship.

[Samilia]

I would ask for the watch if you want it, I wouldn't waste time ranting. And if you really can't help it, wait for the watch to be in your possession.

[spives]

Ask for the watch back but try to stay unemotional. Preserve your image as much as possible by not making a big deal out of it. Don't ask why she's doing whatever she's doing, it will just lower your value in her eyes by showing her that she can break you. Be ice cold and unaffected.

 

BTW, your username... BMW K100?

[k100danny]

Yeah i probably shouldny have had the little rant i did and i felt silly after sending the message. hopefully my next message kind of sorted that out.

 

To be honest (sorry ranting again) I can't blame everything on her, if you see the red flags and don't walk away then you're as much to blame. and there were certainly lots of those right from the beginning.

 

Is it wrong to think to myself, well if she acts how she did in our relationship good luck to her? I had this thought and I know it's not the nicest thing to think but i thought you know what one day this relationship you are in WILL end. I say this because She is VERY VERY needy and I don't think anyone would be able to cope with it. I had a very close friend say to me right before i went on a date the first time with her " she is decent looking and by all means if youre out for fun go out on some dates, sleep with her ect but don't go out with her, she's mental" I also heard this from another person in the same day and then again some time later when going through a rough patch another close friend said to me I had heard bad things but i didn't want to say anything because you seemed happy.

 

She once told me her ex said to her "God help the next person you are with" I should have took this as a sign haha.

 

I felt quite bad at the time but I kind of wanted her to leave, There was a lot of pressure on me and a lot of the time she would argue and blame me for things and i thought to myself if I'm not in the country you are you will see it's not me making you unhappy and you wont have me to blame for the things that go wrong. She also put pressure on and I think everyone here would agree with me that this is not right when i tell you what happened. basically I lie at home at the minute (long story) But i own part of a house with my sister and she said to me before she left baring in mind we had never lived together. "when i come back from travelling you will have to have found a place for us to live, I wont have a job either so you would have to support us for a while" I'm thinking you should have thought about that before you decided to go travelling.

 

She also blame me for her aborting our child because she said i was anxious and I was a pussy for not just being abe to man up and get over my anxiety disorder and she didnt want kids growing up around that. This comment along with 2 it's not a real illness" made me feel smaller than i ever have in my life.

[k100danny]

My username on what BMW? sorry i dont understand haha.

[Samilia]

if you see the red flags and don't walk away then you're as much to blame

 

mmmh I like that