Divasu Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 The truth I've noticed in my social circle is: -The men who are married/partnered up are NOT good looking, high status, or rich, or tall with the EXCEPTION of maybe two who posses ALL of those traits. -The men who are single, and are in your top tier qualifications, have all those traits with the exception of being tall. And, have no problems getting dates/attracting women. -Then I know single guys who don't possess ALL of your top tier qualifications, have some of them, and are single. I don't know if that 'proves' anything, but, just throwing it out there.
white Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 words You can be skeptical. You're most likely living in a wealth or urban bubble, which along with youth tends to move toward equalising genders in this regard. In the real world and the breadth of society, it's as I said. Even if you are in a bubble you should have picked it up load and clear from this forum alone. Speaking of, I would ask why you're here, if things are so easy for you and yours. Bit of a safari into the less privileged side of town? Is it that you have problems? Surely these "every guy you know" could help you out far better than an internet forum.
Author ThaWholigan Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 You can be skeptical. You're most likely living in a wealth or urban bubble, which along with youth tends to move toward equalising genders in this regard. In the real world and the breadth of society, it's as I said. Even if you are in a bubble you should have picked it up load and clear from this forum alone. There is no bubble. I am here with everyone else. Speaking of, I would ask why you're here, if things are so easy for you and yours. Bit of a safari into the less privileged side of town? Is it that you have problems? Surely these "every guy you know" could help you out far better than an internet forum. I'm here for a variety of reasons. And yeah, I did have problems, but I'm working them out .
SammySammy Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I've been telling you guys all along that there is something wrong with your mathematical model. If the top 20 guys are doing 80 % of the women, that would also include women that guys like you obviously consider to be highly unattractive. And that would make women like me who are not dating the top 20 to be the bottom 20. What you're watching is the male gender trying to make sense of the world. Mathematical models, statistics and such. The problem is the models don't work when certain truths are ignored. The flaw in the model or theory is the assumption that the "top 20%" is the same for everybody. Fortunately for all of us, attraction doesn't work that way. Your top 20% is different from the next person's top 20% which is different from my top 20% and so on and so forth. It works out in such a way that almost of all of us who want to get laid, can get laid. Even the 50% of women who these guys claim to be fat and thus unattractive ... still getting laid. The theory is bogus simply because the "top 20%" is different for all of us. 1
tomtucker Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I've been telling you guys all along that there is something wrong with your mathematical model. If the top 20 guys are doing 80 % of the women, that would also include women that guys like you obviously consider to be highly unattractive. And that would make women like me who are not dating the top 20 to be the bottom 20. I never said that I agree with the 80/20 model proposed here. I'm sure that you do go after the most desirable guys that many women desire though. 1
tomtucker Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I am skeptical about this. I have met quite a few guys who are like this - however, almost every guy I know gets laid at quite a high frequency with quite a few women. There are those in relationships too, and they tend to move in and out of them. All I know is in my observations and the amount of people I know, it damn sure isn't no 20% . It's definitely a much larger percentage. You guys experiences are obviously valid to you guys, so I accept that. But I sometimes think that a lot of you guys are using confirmation bias for your assertions at times. Many times we look for things that confirm our theories - I probably do it myself. I personally don't agree that it's all about looks. Personality and social status help too. As a guy that was VERY popular in college and had basically my choosing of women (also, with my time spent as a bar/club girl monger), I can tell you that it certainly is true that a small amount of men are having sex with a large amount of women. This makes sense since, in general, western women find the same things attractive (even if they say they don't). I don't know if it's 80/20 though. 1
Pompeii Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I think when it comes to this Pareto Principle in dating and sex, I think its important to point out how important universal attractiveness is to this equation. Most people are attracted to universally attractive traits in the other gender (we know what they are). The more of these you have, the more secure your place in this "elite' category of people are. Generally if you are a 6'2 white male with a good head of hair, low bodyfat to high muscle ratio, with a slight natural tan or ability to tan well, you will be placed in the upper echelon of what many women consider attractive. Add to that social status and a heaping helping of personality, and you've got an almost irresistible guy. 2
Author ThaWholigan Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 I don't understand . Are most of my social circle in the top 20% then?
SJC2008 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I think the 80/20 is blown out of proportion but one of the main reasons I don't even want to date anymore is that it's just too much work. Women have more options than men and most can hop from relationship to relationship without ever havcing to worry about being single. I've seen countless examples of it IRL. Women that I have known whom I wasn't attracted to have never had a problem meeting men and I don't think I'm that picky.
Sanman Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I think the 80/20 rule is too simplistic. In my experience the field tends to look like this: - A small minority of men have their pick of available women (the top 20% ???). Usually the ones with a high number of desirable traits (Pompeii is close enough is describing this I think). Though, desirability changes as you age (athletes are more elite when you are younger while men with money tend to take their place as we age). - The next large chunk of men in the average range (the next 50%) tend to have to put a good amount of work into dating and,thus, tend to be the types of guys that have had a few relationships and maybe a few other experiences. These guys tend to stay in relationships because getting a girl takes work. -The bottom of the rung (lowest 30%???) tend to struggle severely and may have little or almost no success. As a man, there are ways to move up and down this scale with education, fitness level, income level, development of social skills. etc. Women's break down tends to be more static and simpler as when are generally more interested in looks.
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