Top 20 per cent theory

[Prometheus Pyrphoros]

The theory is flawed in a sense that the percentage is much lower than 20% and is decreasing steadily.

[ThaWholigan]

I gotta bump this even though it's old. I still think this theory is vastly exaggerated.

[BradJacobs]

I gotta bump this even though it's old. I still think this theory is vastly exaggerated.

The theory is solid but the numbers are blown out of proportion.

 

A third of all men and women in the US are obese. So if you're a top 20%er you're not dipping into plus sizes or BBWs. Why would you when there are hotter women (average BMI to fit) available based on looks?

 

The math continues to breakdown further as you continue to run into mismatching personalities.

[Tinie]

I think the theory is vastly exaggerated too.

 

I think I'm probably in a good tier. I'm not bad looking (a fact also confirmed by my getting lots of male attention, even from random strangers on the street or the bus who check me out). I'm also one of the top students of my faculty which is chemistry, and I'm planning to apply to Ivy League for my masters and phd after I graduate. I get along easily with everyone. I think I have a good chance at finding someone "in the top tier".

 

However, recently I started liking a guy who is nowhere near the top tier. He's probably a 5 in terms of looks. Does have a great body though. He's also very accomplished. But that's not something I would know unless I talked to him. He's not rich and he doesn't have a high status (or maybe he does? He's a phd candidate, not sure if that counts).

 

So for me personally, the 20% theory is bull. I could be a 20% girl, but I don't go for 20% guys. I've liked guys who are not good looking, not high status, not tall and not rich. The example I provided is just one. There are more. I tend to fall for guys who I get along with well and can be myself around. That doesn't mean they need to be in the top tier for me to be attracted to them.

 

Also there are guys who do get a lot of women and are not the the top 20 tier. A guy I knew banged women left and right and he was not rich, didn't have a status, was pretty short and his looks were probably 6 or 7. Yet he slept around A LOT. But he was also a smooth talker and could talk his way into a girl's pants.

[Philosopher]

To me the theory doesn't make that much sense, at least when it comes to actual long term relationships.

 

Obviously some guys do do better with women. However if the remaining 80% of men where fighting over 20% of women then the majority of that 80% of men would be single for the most of their life. However most men I know who are over 25 are either married or in long term relationships. So the theory does not add up.

[PlumPrincess]

80 % of all women? That would include also a lot of women who are below average lookwise. If the guys are really that great to be considered in the top 20, it can be assumed that they will want to stick above the average level, no? I can't imagine George Clooney dating anyone who is not quite above average lookwise. But according to this theory, one day, he will also be knocking on my door.

[Pompeii]

I think one of my first posts here was how bull**** this theory was. 20% of the men aren't getting 80% of the girls, but there are certain men who have universally attractive traits and can pretty much attract women from all sorts of socioeconomic, cultural, religious, and ethnic backgrounds. I DO however believe that the majority of women are attracted to a minority of men while seeing the rest as pretty much and essentially, asexual. I don't believe that the exact number is 20% of the entire male population, but it is an unquantifiable and fluctuating variable.

 

Do rest assured though, that something similar does exist. Women in general have a VERY narrow set of traits they consider attractive in relation to men.

[Pompeii]

I swear, I don't want to read the word height again

 

Height is less of an issue than people think it is.

 

Height pretty much becomes neglible past a certain stature. The difference between a 5'10 man and a 6'0 man are pretty much nil but the difference between a 5'7 man and a 5'5 man can mean all the difference in the world. Both sets are separated by two inches but the shorter you are, the more evident it will become.

 

Of course, in the face of immaculate game and experience with women, height becomes irrelevant. The biggest player I know and the man with the highest laycount among my friends is 5'7. Though, he is aesthetic facially and bodily. I'd probably put him in the top tier of physical attractiveness.

[sillyanswer]

I'm too busy banging those top chicks to run the numbers.

[Pompeii]

Yes. And the more you improve yourself, the bigger your market becomes. But the things I mentioned are unchangable, and you're subject to whoever is in that market.

 

You may be fat or skinny, and then you can improve yourself and lose weight/work out so now you've added more women to your market, but if you're short, you're still not going to access the "tall men only" market.

 

Improve the things you can improve and don't worry about the things you can't.

 

Speaking on the subject of "markets" and attractiveness, if you are a celebrity who is well-known, your market will be incredibly vast even in the face of height and or ethnic differences. Someone such as John Mayer who is a well-known musician, with a height of 6'4 and of Caucasian descent, he can easily have sex with virtually any woman in America. Even though many women say they wouldn't sleep with him because he is a douchebag, women tend to underestimate the power celebrity has on them until they are before their very person. It's one thing to say you would never sleep with a person through the computer or tv screen, it's another entirely to say that you'd never sleep with them when they are in front of you. I also have no doubt that someone such as Emilio Estevez who is 5'4 and Daniel Radcliffe who is 5'5 have lines of women who are dying to have sex with them.

 

Who determines the top 20 per cent.....who determines the qualities of the top 20 per cent......how can anyone possible know who is sleeping with who.....and I think its stooooopid.... statistics are just numbers..per centages are just the corners of boxes.....spewed up by government departments to put the human race into little boxes that they can say we all belong to this..... we all subscribe to that we do this we all do that......i dont subscribe to statistics because who is going to prove the numbers.....and do i know them.....no.....or do those statistics know that i am flipping them the bird right now...... and what per centage of people are doing that to the top 20 per cent......who cares about a number....if you get caught up in percentages you might get a probability conclusion of not enjoying the sex you can get or have.....per centages arent people

 

Sorry but this sounds like la-di-da hippie bull****. Numbers and percentages serve a very useful purpose. Without them, society would be more chaotic than it is.

Edited July 21, 2013 by Pompeii

[white]

I've believed something like this for a few years but for different reasons.

 

The truth is I noticed that:

 

1. I knew and met a lot of single men

2. Of those who weren't, most were in very long term relationships with little experience before that

3. A very small number were ridiculously successful with women, like they had cheat codes for real life

4. It's rare you meet a single woman or a woman who professes to be single at least

5. Most women without an actual boyfriend are still ****ing someone and not calling themselves single, whereas single men are pretty damn single in every regard.

 

So the question was, if there are equal numbers of men and women in the world... who the hell is ****ing all the women?

 

The only possible answer is that there is a small number of men shagging a lot of women. Regardless of if they have girlfriends or wives. And a large number of women either don't know, or don't care, that the man they're ****ing is seeing a large number of other women - even if they're his "girlfriend" or wife. We've all met these guys. They just have an innate quality that women love, it might be looks or it might be charm or it might be something you can't figure out at all. They don't even have to try. It isn't wealth or power though, that might help a man but it doesn't make him one of these kinds of guys.

[tomtucker]

I've believed something like this for a few years but for different reasons.

 

The truth is I noticed that:

 

1. I knew and met a lot of single men

2. Of those who weren't, most were in very long term relationships with little experience before that

3. A very small number were ridiculously successful with women, like they had cheat codes for real life

4. It's rare you meet a single woman or a woman who professes to be single at least

5. Most women without an actual boyfriend are still ****ing someone and not calling themselves single, whereas single men are pretty damn single in every regard.

 

So the question was, if there are equal numbers of men and women in the world... who the hell is ****ing all the women?

 

The only possible answer is that there is a small number of men shagging a lot of women. Regardless of if they have girlfriends or wives. And a large number of women either don't know, or don't care, that the man they're ****ing is seeing a large number of other women - even if they're his "girlfriend" or wife. We've all met these guys. They just have an innate quality that women love, it might be looks or it might be charm or it might be something you can't figure out at all. They don't even have to try. It isn't wealth or power though, that might help a man but it doesn't make him one of these kinds of guys.

 

This puts every other post on here to shame.

 

100% accurate.

[PlumPrincess]

I've believed something like this for a few years but for different reasons.

 

The truth is I noticed that:

 

1. I knew and met a lot of single men

2. Of those who weren't, most were in very long term relationships with little experience before that

3. A very small number were ridiculously successful with women, like they had cheat codes for real life

4. It's rare you meet a single woman or a woman who professes to be single at least

5. Most women without an actual boyfriend are still ****ing someone and not calling themselves single, whereas single men are pretty damn single in every regard.

 

So the question was, if there are equal numbers of men and women in the world... who the hell is ****ing all the women?

 

The only possible answer is that there is a small number of men shagging a lot of women. Regardless of if they have girlfriends or wives. And a large number of women either don't know, or don't care, that the man they're ****ing is seeing a large number of other women - even if they're his "girlfriend" or wife. We've all met these guys. They just have an innate quality that women love, it might be looks or it might be charm or it might be something you can't figure out at all. They don't even have to try. It isn't wealth or power though, that might help a man but it doesn't make him one of these kinds of guys.

WTF? Am I the bottom 20 % of the women?

[tomtucker]

WTF? Am I the bottom 20 % of the women?

 

Since 50% of the female population is overweight and looks are the most important thing with regards to female attractiveness, as long as you are not overweight, you are at least in the top 50%.

 

If you are overweight, then just lose weight and you're good.

[Pompeii]

I've believed something like this for a few years but for different reasons.

 

The truth is I noticed that:

 

1. I knew and met a lot of single men

2. Of those who weren't, most were in very long term relationships with little experience before that

3. A very small number were ridiculously successful with women, like they had cheat codes for real life

4. It's rare you meet a single woman or a woman who professes to be single at least

5. Most women without an actual boyfriend are still ****ing someone and not calling themselves single, whereas single men are pretty damn single in every regard.

 

So the question was, if there are equal numbers of men and women in the world... who the hell is ****ing all the women?

 

The only possible answer is that there is a small number of men shagging a lot of women. Regardless of if they have girlfriends or wives. And a large number of women either don't know, or don't care, that the man they're ****ing is seeing a large number of other women - even if they're his "girlfriend" or wife. We've all met these guys. They just have an innate quality that women love, it might be looks or it might be charm or it might be something you can't figure out at all. They don't even have to try. It isn't wealth or power though, that might help a man but it doesn't make him one of these kinds of guys.

 

 

 

Damn. Well said. I think that sums up every man's experience who has actually be out there. Most women tend to have some guy on the side in between relationships, most men are usually stone cold dead single when they're single. I know a lot of girls... and they're usually all ****ing SOMEBODY if they're single. Guys, not so much.

[kaylan]

You can't acheive height, you can't acheive a good looking face.

I sympathize with you in your plight...

 

I kid I kid

[Sun Devil]

I suppose this is why men rape women way more then women rape men. It also explains why alot of men go to prostitutes, but not many women do. Since there are hardly any women who struggle, they have no idea what some men have to go through. I think this will reach a breaking point and sooner or later, men are going to rise up against this. Look at all the mass shootings and terrorist attacks we had recently. As more men struggle, I believe that more violence will spread.

[PlumPrincess]

Since 50% of the female population is overweight and looks are the most important thing with regards to female attractiveness, as long as you are not overweight, you are at least in the top 50%.

 

If you are overweight, then just lose weight and you're good.

I've been telling you guys all along that there is something wrong with your mathematical model. If the top 20 guys are doing 80 % of the women, that would also include women that guys like you obviously consider to be highly unattractive. And that would make women like me who are not dating the top 20 to be the bottom 20.

[PJKino]

Theyres too many average and unattractive men in relationships for me to beleive those numbers BUT id say women are only truly extremely attracted to in a lustful way the top few percentage of men but bioligical clocks and urges to have their dream of a family override their needs of lust to be met.

 

I would say men are attracted to a much wider group of the opposite sex then women are,if you asked women the amount of men they find good looking in your average setting it would be a very small amount of men theyd admit were good looking

[Phoe]

Just even trying to contemplate the schematics behind "top 20 %" monopolozing the WHOLE "80%" is so wonky and mind-boggling I won't even bother.

 

People date people. The end.

[KungFuJoe]

Theyres too many average and unattractive men in relationships for me to beleive those numbers BUT id say women are only truly extremely attracted to in a lustful way the top few percentage of men but bioligical clocks and urges to have their dream of a family override their needs of lust to be met.

 

I would say men are attracted to a much wider group of the opposite sex then women are,if you asked women the amount of men they find good looking in your average setting it would be a very small amount of men theyd admit were good looking

 

You got that backwards.

 

Women are more likely to date someone they find not so physically attractive if they possess other traits that women generally find attractive such as strength, confidence, and assertiveness.

 

Men are the ones who really just care about looks.

 

In general.

 

I'd say, as men, we have more opportunities to "better" ourselves if we want an attractive mate. An ugly man can get rich and successful.

 

Look around at all the high powered male celebrities, CEOs, etc who aren't so great in the looks department but have a gorgeous female wrapped around his arm.

 

Now look at the vice versa...a great looking guy with a not so good looking woman in the celebrity world. What kind of man does Oprah, one of the richest most powerful women in the world, have? A decent looking man, for sure, but definitely not someone who is a model or some great looking "stud".

[PJKino]

You got that backwards.

 

Women are more likely to date someone they find not so physically attractive if they possess other traits that women generally find attractive such as strength, confidence, and assertiveness.

 

Men are the ones who really just care about looks.

 

In general.

 

I'd say, as men, we have more opportunities to "better" ourselves if we want an attractive mate. An ugly man can get rich and successful.

 

Look around at all the high powered male celebrities, CEOs, etc who aren't so great in the looks department but have a gorgeous female wrapped around his arm.

 

Now look at the vice versa...a great looking guy with a not so good looking woman in the celebrity world. What kind of man does Oprah, one of the richest most powerful women in the world, have? A decent looking man, for sure, but definitely not someone who is a model or some great looking "stud".

 

were talking regular people here the average guy isnt gonna become ceo of a forbes company or a huge star in entertainment

 

Besides a women being with me beause of my bank account really wouldnt turn me on

[ThaWholigan]

I've believed something like this for a few years but for different reasons.

 

The truth is I noticed that:

 

1. I knew and met a lot of single men

2. Of those who weren't, most were in very long term relationships with little experience before that

3. A very small number were ridiculously successful with women, like they had cheat codes for real life

4. It's rare you meet a single woman or a woman who professes to be single at least

5. Most women without an actual boyfriend are still ****ing someone and not calling themselves single, whereas single men are pretty damn single in every regard.

 

So the question was, if there are equal numbers of men and women in the world... who the hell is ****ing all the women?

 

The only possible answer is that there is a small number of men shagging a lot of women. Regardless of if they have girlfriends or wives. And a large number of women either don't know, or don't care, that the man they're ****ing is seeing a large number of other women - even if they're his "girlfriend" or wife. We've all met these guys. They just have an innate quality that women love, it might be looks or it might be charm or it might be something you can't figure out at all. They don't even have to try. It isn't wealth or power though, that might help a man but it doesn't make him one of these kinds of guys.

 

I am skeptical about this. I have met quite a few guys who are like this - however, almost every guy I know gets laid at quite a high frequency with quite a few women. There are those in relationships too, and they tend to move in and out of them.

 

All I know is in my observations and the amount of people I know, it damn sure isn't no 20% . It's definitely a much larger percentage.

 

You guys experiences are obviously valid to you guys, so I accept that. But I sometimes think that a lot of you guys are using confirmation bias for your assertions at times. Many times we look for things that confirm our theories - I probably do it myself.

[KungFuJoe]

were talking regular people here the average guy isnt gonna become ceo of a forbes company or a huge star in entertainment

 

Besides a women being with me beause of my bank account really wouldnt turn me on

 

Obviously, I'm not saying you need to be a CEO or a millionaire to get a woman of worth, but I'm saying that, in general, women don't place as much importance on physical looks as men do.

 

Not saying women don't care about looks...everyone does...but I think that men actually care more about physical beauty than women.

 

And it's all about having the whole package...and yes...money is part of that package.

[amaysngrace]

I think someone mixed it up with this:

 

Americans Underestimate U.S. Wealth Inequality : NPR