todreaminblue Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 This has been bandied around on the internet by lots of guys for the last few years. I first saw it at another forum, and now I've seen it here. The theory is this: The top tier of men (aka the 20 per cent), who are either good looking, high status, or rich, or tall (or all or some of the above) are having sex with approximately all or at least 80% or women on the planet, while the rest settle for crumbs or scraps from women who may take pity on them or settle (or whatever). As ludicrous as I believe this to be, a lot of guys on the internet really believe this. I can't say that I subscribe to this view. Unless my vision is clouded because I have grown up around guys whom you could say are in the 20% seeing as they seem to be having a lot of sex with a lot of women, it's definitely nowhere near that vast a majority in terms of sex, dating or relationships. State your thoughts on this, why you think it's true, or why you think it's BS. Who determines the top 20 per cent.....who determines the qualities of the top 20 per cent......how can anyone possible know who is sleeping with who.....and I think its stooooopid.... statistics are just numbers..per centages are just the corners of boxes.....spewed up by government departments to put the human race into little boxes that they can say we all belong to this..... we all subscribe to that we do this we all do that......i dont subscribe to statistics because who is going to prove the numbers.....and do i know them.....no.....or do those statistics know that i am flipping them the bird right now...... and what per centage of people are doing that to the top 20 per cent......who cares about a number....if you get caught up in percentages you might get a probability conclusion of not enjoying the sex you can get or have.....per centages arent people
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Like most things, it's just exaggerated. It's not 20%, probably more like 8-15 % and it's not 80%, but 25-30%. Still enough to make an impact though.
fishtaco Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 This is Robin Hood arrow accurate You and Ninjainpajamas = best posters IMO. Ascendotum is underrated too...... LOL, not sure if I deserve that honor, some of my posts are pretty questionable. But thanks. but in the end it ends up evening out to that 80-20 number. Sure guy A could be undesirable to woman A but desirable to woman B but guy B could also be desirable to woman A and undesirable to woman B In the end the overall 80-20 rule does apply. The majority of single men are doing horrible with women and are usually very happy to get into relationships because that's their only chances of steady sex Yeah, 80-20 rule applies definitely. But the correct way to interpret 80-20 isn't "if you're not Brad Pitt you should chop off your balls", but rather "don't put all of your eggs in one basket".
brahmabull117 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 LOL, not sure if I deserve that honor, some of my posts are pretty questionable. But thanks. Yeah, 80-20 rule applies definitely. But the correct way to interpret 80-20 isn't "if you're not Brad Pitt you should chop off your balls", but rather "don't put all of your eggs in one basket". There's way way way too much emphasis on looks on this forum I know a good number of guys who are pretty average looking who do great with women. I would say it's definitely important to take care of yourself, dress nice and be in shape but you don't have to have the chiseled jaw of the gods or piercing blue eyes to be desirable Women aren't as picky as men are in that regard
Necris Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 LOL, not sure if I deserve that honor, some of my posts are pretty questionable. But thanks. Yeah, 80-20 rule applies definitely. But the correct way to interpret 80-20 isn't "if you're not Brad Pitt you should chop off your balls", but rather "don't put all of your eggs in one basket". if you can date/have a relationship with multiple women at the same time aren't you already in the 20%?
WonderKid Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I don't believe in the numbers personally. There was a guy who was 5'2" back in my senior HS days and I'm pretty sure he screwed A LOT of girls. He wasn't rich or anything. He was cool to be around, smoked a lot of weed, and was always smiling. 1
brahmabull117 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I don't believe in the numbers personally. There was a guy who was 5'2" back in my senior HS days and I'm pretty sure he screwed A LOT of girls. He wasn't rich or anything. He was cool to be around, smoked a lot of weed, and was always smiling. Nobody ever said you have to be a 6'5 male model to be in the 20%. He obviously had other traits that compensated for his lack of appearance and put him in the 20% Although I have no idea how he's getting girls at 5'2. He must have gone after the women who are like 4'11 or 5'0 themselves
Necris Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I don't believe in the numbers personally. There was a guy who was 5'2" back in my senior HS days and I'm pretty sure he screwed A LOT of girls. He wasn't rich or anything. He was cool to be around, smoked a lot of weed, and was always smiling. He must have been extremely charismatic, he's definitely not your average guy. 1
fishtaco Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 if you can date/have a relationship with multiple women at the same time aren't you already in the 20%? No, that just means with those women I'm 20%. But with other women, not necessarily. In fact, statistically speaking, out of the next 5 women I hit up on, 4 will say no. So I'm certainly not their top 20%. I don't believe in the numbers personally. There was a guy who was 5'2" back in my senior HS days and I'm pretty sure he screwed A LOT of girls. He wasn't rich or anything. He was cool to be around, smoked a lot of weed, and was always smiling. What I've seen, is that the guys that screw a lot of women, tend to be the ones that try a lot. A good looking guy hits on 2 women, both sleep with him. An average looking guy hits on 20 women, 4 sleep with him. To someone looking from the outside and only counting the "hits", the average guy is twice as successful. But really, the good looking guy is running at 100%, and the average guy is running at 20%. Just the average guy hits on women more often. It's a number game, shotgun approach is the way to go.
HelenDanger Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 The problem with this theory is that it assumes that 80% of the women are up for grabs. Most of us ladies are happily stashed away in monogamous relationships and have never met these supposed super studs.
lino Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Women aren't as picky as men are in that regard Hahahaha Yeah, of course.
fishtaco Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 The problem with this theory is that it assumes that 80% of the women are up for grabs. Most of us ladies are happily stashed away in monogamous relationships and have never met these supposed super studs. Well yeah, realistically speaking, it's way more complicated. Just because women have different set of "top 20%" it doesn't mean it's evenly distributed. So my posts sort of simplified everything and assume this percentage IS evenly distributed. The basic idea is, yes, it is true. Women would not date 80% of the men they meet. But that doesn't mean men should give up after one negative response. Just because you're in one woman's bottom 80%, doesn't mean you're in EVERY woman's bottom 80%. That's the gist of it. The basic concept is sound, but that's it. In practice, it's way more complicated if we want to "define" a set of predicable circumstances. And really outside of academic reasons, there's no need to do so. Number game. Hit on a lot of women. Problem solved.
brahmabull117 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Hahahaha Yeah, of course. Me and my sister are about the same level of attractiveness When we go to social occasions, the men just drool over her without her doing anything. I don't get anywhere near the same response as she does. I have to work my ass off to get that (which is perfectly fine, that's evolutionary based social dynamics) I don't think there's any doubt that women are valued more for their looks than men are The problem with this theory is that it assumes that 80% of the women are up for grabs. Most of us ladies are happily stashed away in monogamous relationships and have never met these supposed super studs. These discussions are about single people as well as people in relationships who still cheat. Obviously the people in monogamous relationships are not included in these discussions because they would massively distort the data
lino Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Me and my sister are about the same level of attractiveness When we go to social occasions, the men just drool over her without her doing anything. I don't get anywhere near the same response as she does. I have to work my ass off to get that (which is perfectly fine, that's evolutionary based social dynamics) I don't think there's any doubt that women are valued more for their looks than men are These discussions are about single people as well as people in relationships who still cheat. Obviously the people in monogamous relationships are not included in these discussions because they would massively distort the data Don't worry, I still believe in Santa Claus too.
HelenDanger Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Good points, fishtaco. My great aunt Helen used to say, "There's a lid for every pot." So you are right, don't give up. You do need to keep trying until you find that right 20% who do want what you have to offer.
brahmabull117 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Don't worry, I still believe in Santa Claus too. Women have much higher standards than men because they have standards in everything from height to income to age to looks to body Men have much lower standards - they primarily care about looks and ability to be a mother/housewife
thatone Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 (edited) The problem with this theory is that it assumes that 80% of the women are up for grabs. Most of us ladies are happily stashed away in monogamous relationships and have never met these supposed super studs. my neighborhood bar says otherwise. there is never a lack of single women. as for the rest, i've never had sex with a woman less attractive than me. do i have?... a) looks: not really b) personality: yes c) money: recently and yes it helps could i get by on B alone? yeah. Edited July 13, 2012 by thatone 2
jobaba Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Well yeah, realistically speaking, it's way more complicated. Just because women have different set of "top 20%" it doesn't mean it's evenly distributed. So my posts sort of simplified everything and assume this percentage IS evenly distributed. The basic idea is, yes, it is true. Women would not date 80% of the men they meet. But that doesn't mean men should give up after one negative response. Just because you're in one woman's bottom 80%, doesn't mean you're in EVERY woman's bottom 80%. That's the gist of it. The basic concept is sound, but that's it. In practice, it's way more complicated if we want to "define" a set of predicable circumstances. And really outside of academic reasons, there's no need to do so. Number game. Hit on a lot of women. Problem solved. Yup. This also assumes that of 80% of women, all of them chase after the best looking most desirable guys. Sure. A lot of them do. A frustratingly large amount i have discovered. But there are women who don't fall heads over heels for the top studs. One of my exes was like this. She never drooled over the hot guys when we were out. I can remember maybe 2 times when I heard her say a real life guy was hot. And she got hit on a good amount. So she wasn't 'scraps'. She has a doctorate too. Like I always say, you can play the game and compete in the big dick swinging contest or find those that don't play. You may never be the guy who gets tons of women but that doesn't mean you can't be happy. 1
WonderKid Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 No, that just means with those women I'm 20%. But with other women, not necessarily. In fact, statistically speaking, out of the next 5 women I hit up on, 4 will say no. So I'm certainly not their top 20%. What I've seen, is that the guys that screw a lot of women, tend to be the ones that try a lot. A good looking guy hits on 2 women, both sleep with him. An average looking guy hits on 20 women, 4 sleep with him. To someone looking from the outside and only counting the "hits", the average guy is twice as successful. But really, the good looking guy is running at 100%, and the average guy is running at 20%. Just the average guy hits on women more often. It's a number game, shotgun approach is the way to go. Nobody ever said you have to be a 6'5 male model to be in the 20%. He obviously had other traits that compensated for his lack of appearance and put him in the 20% Although I have no idea how he's getting girls at 5'2. He must have gone after the women who are like 4'11 or 5'0 themselves Nope some were around 5 feet but most were taller. And the dude had success. Idk where he is now we used to see eachother. But almost every girl was cool with him. And some of them were girls he grew up around/with. So I think that's a factor too I guess. I just think it's a personality thing. If your game is right, and you know how to speak to them. You can be more successful. Being tall would help. But I knew 2 guys on our football squad, one was 6'5" and another was about 6'6". They were popular with girls, but they didn't have much success as the shorter guys did.
Necris Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Nope some were around 5 feet but most were taller. And the dude had success. Idk where he is now we used to see eachother. But almost every girl was cool with him. And some of them were girls he grew up around/with. So I think that's a factor too I guess. I just think it's a personality thing. If your game is right, and you know how to speak to them. You can be more successful. Being tall would help. But I knew 2 guys on our football squad, one was 6'5" and another was about 6'6". They were popular with girls, but they didn't have much success as the shorter guys did. If you are a charismatic guy and not hideously ugly you should be able to get women. Unfortunately alot of guys like myself aren't very charismatic:(.
WonderKid Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 If you are a charismatic guy and not hideously ugly you should be able to get women. Unfortunately alot of guys like myself aren't very charismatic:(. You don't have to be overly charismatic. Just make her smile/laugh. Or go for what you can tackle. Most women like charisma but others don't favor that.
bobsmith76 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 This has been bandied around on the internet by lots of guys for the last few years. I first saw it at another forum, and now I've seen it here. The theory is this: The top tier of men (aka the 20 per cent), who are either good looking, high status, or rich, or tall (or all or some of the above) are having sex with approximately all or at least 80% or women on the planet, while the rest settle for crumbs or scraps from women who may take pity on them or settle (or whatever). As ludicrous as I believe this to be, a lot of guys on the internet really believe this. I can't say that I subscribe to this view. Unless my vision is clouded because I have grown up around guys whom you could say are in the 20% seeing as they seem to be having a lot of sex with a lot of women, it's definitely nowhere near that vast a majority in terms of sex, dating or relationships. State your thoughts on this, why you think it's true, or why you think it's BS. Psychologists have done some real in depth sex surveys. Read the scholarly literature. Don't rely on rumors. Check out the Kinsey Report, see if there is anything in there about it. As for my own hunch, I don't know enough about the sex habits of women to really comment.
Author ThaWholigan Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Should bump this because I keep hearing this bandied around.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Should bump this because I keep hearing this bandied around. And I still stick to what I wrote. It's exaggerated, but true.
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