zanesfan Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I consider myself to have a pretty healthy sex life. Ive done sex tapes (which has been destroyed), I love the idea of public sex (but not to public), I enjoy being on top, pleasuring myself, etc. This guy that I recently met is amazing!! He has never made a sex tape and doesnt want to, prefers to be on top, never had public sex (not even on a balcony at night), he likes to "wait" before giving oral sex, etc. He asked me to send him a private shot and I did but he has yet to reciprocate after I asked him to send me one. Is this relationship already doomed? I feel like the more he ask me questions about sex the more he is using my answers to make a decision if he wants to date me or not. Not only that his family is very conservative. I am just the opposite. My nose ring even may be a problem to them..ugh. We both like each other and the chemistry is undeniable but already I feel like im in a pressure cooker. Im not wild.. I have no tats, not into the club scene, Im pretty much boring. We are 29 & 32 btw. Any advice?
pteromom Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I think what is important isn't what he's done or not done, but his attitude toward sex and toward you. If he seems disgusted by what you've done, or the idea of public sex, that is a huge red flag. But just not having done them is no biggie. Sounds like you could have fun teaching him about the freaky side of sex. I would move forward with your eyes open. Don't censor yourself due to fears of judgment - just be yourself. If he likes you for who you are, great. If he refuses to date you because you like sex to be fun, well, he isn't someone you would have wanted to date anyway, no matter how "amazing" he is. I consider myself to have a pretty healthy sex life. Ive done sex tapes (which has been destroyed), I love the idea of public sex (but not to public), I enjoy being on top, pleasuring myself, etc. This guy that I recently met is amazing!! He has never made a sex tape and doesnt want to, prefers to be on top, never had public sex (not even on a balcony at night), he likes to "wait" before giving oral sex, etc. He asked me to send him a private shot and I did but he has yet to reciprocate after I asked him to send me one. Is this relationship already doomed? I feel like the more he ask me questions about sex the more he is using my answers to make a decision if he wants to date me or not. Not only that his family is very conservative. I am just the opposite. My nose ring even may be a problem to them..ugh. We both like each other and the chemistry is undeniable but already I feel like im in a pressure cooker. Im not wild.. I have no tats, not into the club scene, Im pretty much boring. We are 29 & 32 btw. Any advice?
Author zanesfan Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Well said. I just dont want to be in a relationship where I feel like I cant express myself sexually. And after 32 years Im sure he has little to no interest in these things. I just hope that he will be open minded in the future.
pteromom Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Well said. I just dont want to be in a relationship where I feel like I cant express myself sexually. And after 32 years Im sure he has little to no interest in these things. I just hope that he will be open minded in the future. Only one way to find out! And don't be so sure he has no interest in those things. Maybe he's just never had the opportunity, and he'll like them with you. If not, you can move on to someone who will appreciate your freaky side.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 This guy that I recently met is amazing!! He has never made a sex tape and doesnt want to, prefers to be on top, never had public sex (not even on a balcony at night), he likes to "wait" before giving oral sex, etc. I don't see how that makes him a prude. You seem to have obvious exhibitionist tendencies (sex tapes, public sex), which goes beyond simply being freaky. There are very good reasons for keeping one's sex life private.
pteromom Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 There are very good reasons for keeping one's sex life private. There are also very good reasons not to.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 There are also very good reasons not to. Such as? (10 characters)
pteromom Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Such as? (10 characters) I have to say it in 10 characters? How about... It's a turn-on! That's exactly 10!
pteromom Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Oh crap. If you count punctuation, I went over the 10 character limit. Sorry.
manup Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I consider myself to have a pretty healthy sex life. Ive done sex tapes (which has been destroyed), I love the idea of public sex (but not to public), I enjoy being on top, pleasuring myself, etc. This guy that I recently met is amazing!! He has never made a sex tape and doesnt want to, prefers to be on top, never had public sex (not even on a balcony at night), he likes to "wait" before giving oral sex, etc. He asked me to send him a private shot and I did but he has yet to reciprocate after I asked him to send me one. Is this relationship already doomed? I feel like the more he ask me questions about sex the more he is using my answers to make a decision if he wants to date me or not. Not only that his family is very conservative. I am just the opposite. My nose ring even may be a problem to them..ugh. We both like each other and the chemistry is undeniable but already I feel like im in a pressure cooker. Im not wild.. I have no tats, not into the club scene, Im pretty much boring. We are 29 & 32 btw. Any advice? lol you are wild
The Tallest One Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I don't think your wild at all. I am 42 and very sexual and my last gf was the same way. The more sexual a women is, the more I'm turned on. Don't settle for someone who isn't sexually compatible because you will never get whay you want and or like. Also, if he's trying to make up his mind if he can accept you, I wouldn't waste my time with him. He doesn't sound like a good fit, jmo! 1
ThaWholigan Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I don't think your wild at all. I am 42 and very sexual and my last gf was the same way. The more sexual a women is, the more I'm turned on. Don't settle for someone who isn't sexually compatible because you will never get whay you want and or like. Also, if he's trying to make up his mind if he can accept you, I wouldn't waste my time with him. He doesn't sound like a good fit, jmo! I'm discovering that a LOT of women have a very sexual streak within them, I think a lot more than a lot of people realize.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I'm discovering that a LOT of women have a very sexual streak within them, I think a lot more than a lot of people realize. The only people who do NOT realize this are the ones who have never had sex
ascendotum Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I think what is important isn't what he's done or not done, but his attitude toward sex and toward you. If he seems disgusted by what you've done, or the idea of public sex, that is a huge red flag. But just not having done them is no biggie. Sounds like you could have fun teaching him about the freaky side of sex. I would move forward with your eyes open. Don't censor yourself due to fears of judgment - just be yourself. If he likes you for who you are, great. If he refuses to date you because you like sex to be fun, well, he isn't someone you would have wanted to date anyway, no matter how "amazing" he is. I agree with this, dont dump him just yet because he is more conservative, or may have viewed your past sex life as too freaky for him. If however you still want to indulge in the kinkier side of sex/attraction, and he says he is definitely not open to expand his sex life, then I think its best to ultimately leave him, as I am sure it will effect your love for him. You used the word ' pressure cooker' to describe your relationship with him, thats not exactly a great way to describe an early stage relationship.
HelenDanger Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 If he were a complete prude, he wouldn't be asking you about sex. From the tone of his questions and requests, sounds to me like he might be a bit of a voyeur, actually. So you two might be a good match!
Author zanesfan Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 Yes, I always thought the man would be far more "freakier". I guess I've never dated someone I thought hadnt tried some of these things. We did have a talk and he said he would be open to some of the things and they sounded like fun but he just never did it. I guess I would know once we have sex. I truly believe he is experienced in the bedroom but as far as what I like he has limited experience. I dont plan on dumping him at all.
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