Thisisbs Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Hey guys, I just need some opinions on my situation from the lovely LS community! I am still in contact with my ex because we are in a large group of mutual friends. I don't talk to her, but I also don't ignore her when she talks to me. I think it would be immature and impossible not to see her because all my good friends are basically all her good friends so, I see her often. When we hang out somewhere, I feel bad not inviting her to come along, and when she asks me if she can come along, I can't exactly say no. When we hang out though, we talk quite a bit, a lot of back and forth, some teasing, just how friends would talk. Is this a bad idea? If so, how should I deal with this differently.
flitzanu Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Hey guys, I just need some opinions on my situation from the lovely LS community! I am still in contact with my ex because we are in a large group of mutual friends. I don't talk to her, but I also don't ignore her when she talks to me. I think it would be immature and impossible not to see her because all my good friends are basically all her good friends so, I see her often. When we hang out somewhere, I feel bad not inviting her to come along, and when she asks me if she can come along, I can't exactly say no. When we hang out though, we talk quite a bit, a lot of back and forth, some teasing, just how friends would talk. Is this a bad idea? If so, how should I deal with this differently. if this keeps you from healing, then no you should not hang out with her. just fyi, there are no "mutual friends" in a breakup. they're yours or hers. never underestimate that. if they are any "friend" at all, they wouldn't be inviting your ex to hang out anywhere near you.
Author Thisisbs Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 if this keeps you from healing, then no you should not hang out with her. just fyi, there are no "mutual friends" in a breakup. they're yours or hers. never underestimate that. if they are any "friend" at all, they wouldn't be inviting your ex to hang out anywhere near you. It isn't delaying my healing, but I'm scared I might get hopes again. I've outgrown the hopes I've had before, because I've realized I deserve better and that she's just all over the place in her life, I feel bad for her in a way. We were in this group of mutual friends way before we started dating. Some are more of my friends than hers, and some are more her friends than mine, but we all like hanging out. It hasn't really been anyone asking her, mostly her asking if she could hang out with us, and I just can't really say no, and she seems really alone, and I don't think excluding her is mature.
Chi townD Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Well, just be prepared if one time she asks to come along and she brings a date with her. That's a very real possibility and you need to be prepared for it.
Author Thisisbs Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Well, just be prepared if one time she asks to come along and she brings a date with her. That's a very real possibility and you need to be prepared for it. That's true, something relating to that has already happened. She had been with another guy and everyone knew that she was into him. I was set back a bit, but surprisingly picked myself up fairly well. I had predicted something of the sort, and I knew I had to deal with knowing that she was into someone else before getting complete closure. Something happened between them, but I'm not completely sure what, but it doesn't matter.
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