Sophia12345 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 me and my ex where together for 4 years, to this day he still gives me this overwhelming feeling but he wants to be single have no commitments. So my ex made it clear he doesnt feel like i care for him and that is partially the reason he broke it off (along with the fact he can't be bothered for a GF, cant be bothered to put time into a GF and doesnt want to hurt me so broke it off so he wouldnt have to answer about anything he does.) Anyway whatever, i cant make him want to be with me and I cant force him to want to spend time with me. But although ultimately if there was any chance of a second chance it would 100% have to come from him I feel that I atleast need to make it clear how that i DO care for him and that won't change. So im not going to start pleading or begging cause im not at that point anymore and havent been for a while. So weve been speaking ALOT this week and spent some time together I thought i would surprise him. He was working away up north so i decided to turn up in the city he was in. Call me crazy/pathetic whatever but I don't regret it. I cant let this end without me trying at least. I know there's no guarantee but we've been apart now for 5 months, NC for the quite a while, contact ALLWAYS being started by my ex. I believe that if you want a lasting relationship you need to work through the crap, its giving and taking and this in my stage of seriously giving working through it because ultimately i feel he is the one. He has made it PERFECTLY clear that he isnt ready to get back together and realistically neither am I. These things take ALOT of time but even if it takes years i feel this is the start. if it doesn't work then it doesn't work but at least I wont regret not trying. Call me foolish for not quiting contact but i actually feel like i'm succeeding more in life by having the strength to be their for my ex no matter if he doesn't realise it because eventually in his life he will. I cant bare to think that in 5 years time I let him just get away without an ounce of effort. But ultimately I'm doing this with no expectations just based on hope and trust in him. The question is, does ANYONE think im doing a good thing or setting myself up for disaster?
macjuggalo Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Unfortunately you can't force someone to love you but if what you are doing makes you feel better, go for it, just don't expect a happy ending and you will be fine.
hinatticus Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I'm in your boat Sophia. Similar stories except I screwed up big time. 4.5 year relationship, we're approaching 5 months break up and we were hanging out. I just had a big setback tonight tho. So I'm giving her space for a few days. We share a child so we have to have contact. Hope you're doing better than I am. I feel like sh*t right now. It's 5 am and I can't sleep!
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