KS11 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 So i know ive posted before about my situation, and many of you will think what im about to say is stupid but i was wondering if there was any advice anyway... basically, im meeting up with, im not even sure what i'd call her at this point, but the girl im deeply in love with this weekend. I havent seen her for 3 months as i've been away, but im kind of seeing this as a last chance for her to show me some sort of affection. However, im not to sure whether i should come out and say 'i can't do it like this anymore etc'...or just see what happens, and then at the end, in some attempt to regain whatever dignity i have left, walk away?? Like i say, im sure the advice from many is to not go at all, but i've promised myself unless something big happens this weekend that is it. To be honest im absolutely dreading it! Its so strange knowing that in about 48 hours time i'll will have most likely lost the only one i've ever loved.. Would really appreciate some help!
january2011 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Be distant, but polite. Ask her how she has been and catch up on her news. Three months is a long time and if there's been no contact, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot has happened at her end. The relationship sounds very one-sided and you've invested a lot of emotions in her that haven't been reciprocated. There is nothing wrong with telling her that you, "can't do this anymore." And to explain that you met up to say goodbye. You don't have to get go into detail. You just need to tell her that you have strong feelings for her but you can see that she doesn't feel the same way. Therefore, it's best that you both part ways. Then go NC and work on getting your life back on track.
Dblock10 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 don't know the story but i get the jist, classic case of someone loving the other more.. basically she will see this as a catch up or have you told her your intentions? if it were me, id never say i can't do this anymore. because it gives her and leaves her with full power. your a man, don't do it to yourself. girls like strong decisive assertive men not men with emotions that are more unstable than hers on her period
Author KS11 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Im not too sure what she's expecting to be honest. But whenever we do see eachother the subject always comes up. But yeh, you have the right idea about it being loving the other person more...just for some background though, back at christmas she came to me saying that she wanted to give something a try. This was after being NC for a few weeks. But nothing ever came of it for a number of reasons. Since then she has been really busy with a course, and like i say i've been away, but both those things have finished now. So part of me is still thinking theres hope that something could happen, especially since she has since got a job nearby, meaning she's moving nearer. But i guess not much of this matters. If you wouldnt say 'you cant do this...' what would you say? nothing? At this point, i think im just desperately trying to convince myself again not to give up or let go...but i think January2011 is right....
Dblock10 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 well saying goodbye or i can't do this anymore is totally fine mate if you have no intentions what so ever after that point or desire to be back with her... because otherwise your feel even more stupid for saying it when you don't truly want to.. are you saying it in a genuine honest from your heart way or do you secretly hope it would spark something inside her? personally if she has said this to you and she is moving nearer, why not try and have no expectations and just see what happens and cross the bridge when you get to it so to speak... its not like she's moving to china etc. i don't know, depends how you want to deal with it
Author KS11 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Thats the thing, i still love this girl more than anything so of course i dont truly mean it and i think if im being totally honest there is part of me that hopes me saying it might provoke some kind of reaction. But theres the other part thats saying enough is enough, i've been holding out on this for nearly 2 years now. There is still part of me that holds out on hope that now might be better timing for something to happen, so maybe i wont say anything..ahhh i dunno.. I really appreciate your advice...dreading Saturday!!
Dblock10 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 yeah that thing saying enough is enough is called logic. rational thoughts. the hope is your emotions. guess which will win.. my advice.. don't say anything the first time, or she will know you have been holding it back for all this time.. if you can handle it, try meeting her make her have the most fun she's had for a while.. then meet again and repeat, then say something. you don't want to think you jumped the gun ? thing is you haven't seen her for 3 months, you can judge how she's feeling from her reactions when you do meet chin up, it will be nice to see her..
Author KS11 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 Hi, It actually went really well! Which was surprising. I booked this really unique restaurant in the city which she loved! But yeh, i decided not to go there and start demanding like an ultimatum as such, which im really glad about. I just said that im not really sure where i stand etc, to which she replied we havent seen eachother in a while, lets just see what happens. I think she's just really scared of ruining the friendship as she says that sex will change everything. Which obviously it could, but it may also turn into something much better. So yeah, had a really good day, was bit weird at the end, we both say goodbye to get on seperate trains, and i get a message saying 'bit rude you not coming with me really'. and i thought she had dropped a hint earlier in the evening so, in pretty out of character form, i thought id be decisive for once and jump on her train. So i ended up staying at hers, but not in the same bed, which was weird. I think had my nervous hesitation put a stop to that. I dont know whether she regrets asking me back and its kinda worrying that i havent really spoken to her since, which is unusual...its weird, so not really sure whether i should just leave it now...kinda bummed about that as felt like we had such a good time!
Author KS11 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Posted July 16, 2012 ...ignore that previous post. Nothings changed, still being ignored. Once again i've fallen for the same sh*t i always do. Will i ever learn...
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