paperboy48 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Somedays I have the attitude of "forget her" and it doesn't bother me to think of her with another guy. Then on somedays it really bothers me where I get sad and the thought of her with another guy really bothers me?
january2011 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 After a break-up, your emotions tend to be all over the place. It's like a rollercoaster. You will have good days and bad days. Your thoughts will be framed in terms of what you're feeling on that day. With time and NC, your emotions will stabilise and hopefully you will begin to have more good days than bad days. 1
Author paperboy48 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 With time and NC, your emotions will stabilise and hopefully you will begin to have more good days than bad days. I have 2 children with this woman unfortunately, there is no such thing as no contact for me (ugh)!
january2011 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I have 2 children with this woman unfortunately, there is no such thing as no contact for me (ugh)! Okay, LC (low contact). Stick to talking about the kids and finances. Nothing else. Minimal smalltalk and minimal time in each other's presence. Don't ask. Don't tell. If neither of you can communicate politely, then you'll have to do it through your lawyers. Don't do it through the kids as that will put them in the "go-between" situation, potentially asking them to take sides, which is unfair. I'm sorry. Unfortunately, you're going to have to suck it up until the kids are adults.
Author paperboy48 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 I have reduced my contact with her big time. My next step is to stop asking the kids about what mommy was doing?
january2011 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Yes, it's not fair on them to "spy" on her for you - they're being placed in a very awkward position. You really don't need to talk about her at all, unless they bring her up. Best to focus on making their time with you happy and enjoyable - make some great memories that you can all look back on and smile. Rather than asking about mommy, why not ask about your kids and what they've been doing? 1
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