casper12 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 My girlfriend of 11months has been in a 6year abusive controlling minipulating relationship prior to us and also suffers from ADHD & OCD & Anxiety her ex wont leave her alone, i love her she says the same ! she told me a few days ago she wanted "her time & space" day after she asks me over to her house for the night! next day dont hear from her i txt her and she said she will call me & you guessed it nothing!??? soo i txt once and call once no reply then this just now I'm staying with my boss for a little while. Mum is going to stay at mine to look after dogs for me. I'm under extreme stress & I just need to be alone. I'm mentally unstable & I just need to sort myself out. I need you to understand my needs & it's a good idea you sort your work/routine out. This will give you that opportunity. I'm not sure what's up with me. I've just been in a world of anxiety. I'm still very vulnerable & I need to get my strength completely back. I also need to increase my work because I have Adelaide compitition coming up. I will speak to you in person, I'm just needing to collect myself over next few days so I'm totally clear when we speak. I'm very fragile. Please be understanding. I'm nearing a nervous breakdown. I have to have quarterzone injection in my arm Monday. I have nerve damage. It's coming from my neck & referring pain in my arm. Physio said anxiety can definitely cause this. You have been great support to me but right now, & to regain strength I need to be on my own. I appreciate you & all you have done but I know what I need to get myself on track so I'm no longer damaged goods. And im not sure if this is the right thing to send back?? I understand you bubb, not only dose my heart feel for you its crying out & reaching out for you... Their is absolutley no doubt in my mind you are holding my entire heart & im IN LOVE with you bubb I understand you have to do this part by yourself just want you to know im here for you and will NEVER give up on you! & you will never have to walk or deal with this alone im here every second every step of the way til you beat this! What im experiencing right now is so hard to explain its that intense i cant describe it ive never had it this bad before... ever! If this is a dose of the level of Anxiety you deal with on a daily basis or whenever you get it, it brings tears straight from my heart to the surface for you! my 'Anxiety' is thru the roof too & equals that of a break-up & more! is that because what your trying to say is that this is the end of us? or is it you saying your just having "you time" to clear your head strengthen yourself so your not damaged goods and so we can progress when you have healed? im really trying to be strong here, i dont know what to think? im about to leave for work- and will be away for 3weeks! I LOVE YOU ❤ BUBB ?any help or advice would be good!! my heads a mess at the momment
Gulf-Delta Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 IMO, I see no problem telling her you care/love/etc for her. The thing is, if she really has the whole low self-esteem thing happening, it won't matter. You can say it so she knows, but don't be surprised if she disregards it, or doesn't respond at all. Regardless of the reason to "need space" whether it's legit, or she's lying, or she's got low esteem, whatever...she's already made up her mind about what she feels she needs to do, and at this point, probably nothing you say will sway her. I'm speaking from experience here. When the ex is going through their "need space/find my self/etc" phase they have made up thier mind....at least for this point in time.
Author casper12 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Thank you for taking the time to read my post! I guess there isint anything i can do and will just have to back away from her, this feeling is getting extremely intense my heart is starting to tear open! i just got another txt from her saying she has a full night of work and she will call me tomrrow- i dont know how to react im reading into this and have a feeling everything will be ok but still feel heart broken im having huge mixed emotions i wanna call her but then tryn to tell myself to let her have her space this is getting messy
Chi townD Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I would text back, " Cool. bye!" and then go NC. Don't let her know where your head is at. 1
Dblock10 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 who's her boss? male/female? why does her previous relationship matter? totally up to you. if it was me i wouldn't mention me and her, she knows... just be there for her, be cool and then sort it out once she has cleared this head of hers... either way it could be heading to lets be friends if she decides not to be in a relationship with you.
rAFC Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 One of the many problems involved with dating a woman with serious emotional issues. I know, they tend to be the sweetest, most caring type of woman...but then this happens...it ALWAYS happens. Ask yourself, "Is this what I want for my future?". Seriously, her issues will never go away, they will only go through a roller coaster of ups and downs. You can't save her no matter how hard you try or how understanding and wonderful you are. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but experience tells me that these things rarely end well in the long run. Been there, done that.
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