vhshowdown Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 I got a question of where I may stand after first date. Went out with the really nice woman last friday nite. We were sitting with a few friends at ruby tuesday bar. Everything seem to be going good, at least I thought so. Well about 2 hours later, it was about midnite, so she had to be going. Our bill was on the same ticket, so she grabbed it, and I told her dont worry, I got it... She insisted that she will pay this time, I can get next time. I agreed, and I got the tip. We walked to her car, hugged goodbye, and said we would see one another Tuesday nite. I dont have her phone number though. Well last nite came around, and no sign of her. Dont know when I will see her again now. So, my question to anyone is, did she pay for it knowing she had no plans to see me again, or is that unheard of. I am just coming off a bad breakup couple months ago, so I feel vulnerable right now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Thanks
sarah12 Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Ok, there are a few key things to note here.. First of all, did the date go well? Did she seem like she liked you? As for the bill, I always offer to pay but most of the time, the guy insists on paying and if that is the case, I let him pay. It's definitely a nice gesture for him to pick up the tab, even though it isn't expected. If I had asked the guy out on a date, I would certainly offer to pay. Anyways, the point is, she might have been somewhat put off by that. Secondly, you didn't get her phone number? She obviously knows this and could be offended that you didn't want to contact her again, and therefore didn't really want to see you last night. If you see her again, apologize for not finding a way of contacting her and let her know that you are interested in taking her out sometime.
Author vhshowdown Posted July 7, 2004 Author Posted July 7, 2004 That is real good advice, thnaks Sarah. I insisted on paying that nite, cause I am the one who asked her to go out there with us. So I wanted to pay for it, but she insisted several times, so I agreed to let her. As for the nite, I thought we both had a great time. She had a bad day and I got her laughing and everything. It all went well. And I laid some hints down that I liked her too. And she was quite impressed that I remembered stuff about her, etc..... Well, I didnt ask for her phone number cause I thought I was gonna see her last nite, and she was going out of town the the holiday, so never really thought to get it. Ya, I messed up by not getting her number...... I will learn I guess.....
Amy22 Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 I don't think it means anything that she paid. I always try to pay when I go out with a guy but if he insists I let him pay. I just kinda feel bad that the guy is usually expected to pay. Is there a way you can get in touch with her? Are you friends with one of her friends and they can give you her number? I would get her number call and thank her for going out with you and dinner and say you would love to see her again.
Author vhshowdown Posted July 9, 2004 Author Posted July 9, 2004 So far I have had no luck getting ahold of her. I am gonna try to find her tomorrow, some how, some way. We shall see. This really sux, cause I thought that so called first date went well.
HoldOn Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 I'm confused about if this was really a date or not. How did you ask her out in the first place if you didn't have her number? Why were you sitting with other friends at your first date? Also, I think it's a little strange that she INSISTED on paying. Also, you made this comment: I laid some hints down that I liked her too. I thought you said you asked her out. Woudn't she already KNOW that you like her? Regardless, I think you should try again. Get her phone number. Ask her out on a real date, meaning that you are alone. Pick her up at her house. Go to a better restaurant than Ruby Tuesdays. Then, you'll really see if she's interested. Don't worry so much! I'm sure you're a great guy and if she doesn't reciprocate, then that's her problem.
Author vhshowdown Posted July 9, 2004 Author Posted July 9, 2004 We took a class together, so she was supposed to be in class tuesday nite as well. That is how we met, only had a couple classes together though, and I asked her to go out after class on friday nite. We sat next to one another and I thought we had a great time. And when I walked her to her car, she said are you going to be in class tuesday? I said I sure will be, and she was like well I will see you then.... As far as paying, she insisted on it, and I eventually gave in and let her. I thought it was kinda strange myself, but this is the 2000s, so you know.....
HoldOn Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 Oooooh! I see now. Some ladies wouldn't see this as a "real date" because it was so last minute and you were basically just hanging out with all your classmates, right? If you guys are in school together, there must be a way to get her number. You've got to put yourself out there and have REAL date to let her know you're interested. She probably didn't know whether it was a date or not and that's why she paid.
Author vhshowdown Posted July 9, 2004 Author Posted July 9, 2004 HoldOn, that does make sense. Thanks for the advice. The problem is I am thru with the classes, and I cant get the phone number thru the school. I dont know if she is gonna finish or not, being she wasnt there Tuesday or Wednesday. But to get her number I don't want to act like a stalker... LOL I do know where she works at, she did tell me that, is it ok for someone to call their work just out of the blue??
HoldOn Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 What kind of job is it? I think it'd be alright to call. Here's the deal. If she likes you, she won't mind. In fact she'll love it. If she doesn't like you, she won't like it much, but it doesn't matter because your call didn't ruin it. You'll never know unless you try! The more I think about it, the more I am sure that she couldn't be sure whether it was a date or not. Good luck! Ahhh, budding looooove.
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