Author livelife Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 We don't have to talk about your Dad if you don't want to. However, I wouldn't ignore the Dad factor. I know for me, I recreated the relationship with my bf that my parents had. That's why it was such a disaster. My ex was never there for me, like my Dad was never there for my mom. Just saying, if you still find yourself questioning stuff, you might want to revisit the Dad factor at some point, even though you felt very loved by him. My mom told me to find the guy that treated her the way my father did, which was very well. He was everything my mom described that my dad did. It was me that got upset in an argument and broke up.
Author livelife Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 Yes!! I'm so glad you're choosing to put the spotlight back on you! Trust me, I'm going thru my own breakup right now fresh from several days ago. But staying positive and working my stuff out is the ONLY way I'm getting thru this. It's only been a matter of days and I feel so much better, I feel like myself again! So I know this can work! You'll figure out the reason(s) for the arguments etc...IF you want to face the truth and speaking from exp, it soooo tough sometimes. But getting some space btwn you and him will help you figure it out even soon cuz you won't be focus on anything else. Yeah exactly! And the fact that I gave him the option of not meeting up and told him straight up, look my intentions are to work on things, so lets not meet up if that isn't the case for you, and he said he never said that, so I thought that was good and thats something I can hold on to while im giving space. 1
Author livelife Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 During thefight the other night, I deleted my ex. He just now texted me, "did you really delete me as a friend?" I don't want to start another fight with him, I just want to start being on good terms. Any good way to tell him that yes I did? Haha I don't want to lie.
AlexanderJames Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Sorry I've been abscebt. Stupid time zones and I slept like a bear last night. Thanks ravenous for being here to help livelife. You gave some great advice! So you sent the txt telling him you didn't want him gettin mad over what you post. That's okay just a little slip up. Now you are puttin him in the spotlight again and making it about him. I would have told you to say "because I'm putting my best foot forward and l living for me now" but I wasn't here to help. He's keeping you on the hook. You need to be brave and step up. Last night was so perfect for me I didn't even want to ask the question I just wanted to be like we were forever. But I had the realization that maybe she was just stringing me on. And sure it feels perfect for me ATM but letting it go on was only going to hurt me more in the long run. How would I feel today if I didn't ask the question and put myself first? I'd feel like last night was great and that I was going to get my ex back. I'd still be in limbo holding on to hope. I'd have no idea that it wasn't going to go anywhere. And it would have hurt much more later. What I'm trying to say is maybe its time to be brave, step up an stop looking for hints and ways to make it worse. You've seen how he is going to act. And you've told me personally that you don't want to be with someone who acts like that. His personality is all he had going for him and now it's turned to ****. Deep down you don't even want him. You just keep getting cold feet about independence and forgetting what is best for you. I don't like seeing you like this. I liked it better when you were infront of me. Don't fall behind xx
Author livelife Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 He is keeping me on the hook. But i'm not falling behind. I'm not going to text him, unless he texts me, thats my plan, and its worked, besides earlier. But he initiated it when I was taking a nap, woke up to 3 texts. One him telling me he needed to hear what I told him earlier (when I ended the conversation I told him just to smile and just be happy.) another him telling me about something he did today, and then the last was about Facebook deleting. I can give him credit I have been acting very childish.
Author livelife Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Maybe i'ma hopeless romantic, but I honestly believe that he does want this to work out, but its going to take time. He wouldn't tell me he wants to try if he didn't, especially after all that we have been through. He has been through a crap load of stuff right now and I'm not helping him any with all of the stress i'm going through and adding it to him, so I completely understand where he comes from when he needs space from me. I just need to be happy.
Author livelife Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 I also believe he is putting his stress out on me. I don't think he would get upset over so many things if he didn't care.
AlexanderJames Posted July 14, 2012 Posted July 14, 2012 Unless he begs you to see him in person I dont think you should reply. He's just going to send you pointless crap to keep you running back. Someone said on my thread a while back something that pissed me off. But he was right really. He said I bite on every breadcrumb my ex leaves me. I didn't like hearing it but it was true. You will never be able to give yourself space to heal if you respond to every txt he sends. Ignore him. You'll find it's very liberating. Besides the way hes been treating you hardly makes him deserving of any answers or closure. He deserves nothing. And I hope you didn't just say YOU have been childish?
Author livelife Posted July 14, 2012 Author Posted July 14, 2012 Unless he begs you to see him in person I dont think you should reply. He's just going to send you pointless crap to keep you running back. Someone said on my thread a while back something that pissed me off. But he was right really. He said I bite on every breadcrumb my ex leaves me. I didn't like hearing it but it was true. You will never be able to give yourself space to heal if you respond to every txt he sends. Ignore him. You'll find it's very liberating. Besides the way hes been treating you hardly makes him deserving of any answers or closure. He deserves nothing. And I hope you didn't just say YOU have been childish? I needed to hear that. I don't think I will block his number just so I can see if I do recieve texts by him, but I will start avoiding my phone so I'm not tempted to text him. I still believe that twitter account is him... 1
Recommended Posts