Mariana345 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Hello again! Some of you may know my history. Not so important now, but my BF brokeup with me 5 and a half weeks ago. I went with NC and we haven't really talked since then. I also deleted him from facebook, msn, phone and asked for my stuff back... However, in this time I realized another cause for the BU. Some months before the BU I was being disrespectful with him due to frustration (I just read an article about man and love and respect). I was being verbally abusive, a little violent, and sometimes we fight about money. Also mocked him about some issues, but I didn't even think about it, just split out of my mouth, It didn't have any bad intention from me, I was just not thinking what I was saying. I was so frustrated with my life! I felt restricted in so many ways!! I didn't felt that I was having the potential to do anything! And I did make him pay... I'm so stupid!! I just realized this!! He couldn't take it anymore! and I don't blame him for this (but not for the cheating part... although I'm not so sure he cheated, just some assumptions) I don't know if I could ever mend this to him, or if he would ever forgive me! What do you recommend me to do now? I want to talk to him about this, but it's only been a month, he haven't contacted me not even once, and my issues are still being worked, besides he already is making some changes in his life, made up with some friends he left for me, going to parties (almost every weekend) and probably doesn't want me around. Also, I don't know for sure if he is seeing someone else right now... I went to NC to figure things out, but now that I realized this I don't know if I should or can do something... I was thinking of talking to him by phone, or writing him a short email, but not sure If that would help, now or never. I love him, I want this to work, but I'm so afraid of him right now Please, some advice!
Girlboots Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I'm not a guy, but it seems like he has adjusted to the breakup and is taking it well. He probably won't take you back, but I would give him an apology either way. I did that to a guy before, he accepted my apology and was very respectful, but our relationship didn't really start back up again. I'd give it a chance.
carhill Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 If you feel compelled to accept responsibility for your role in the breakup and acknowledge the actions you listed here, simply call him and request to meet in person and share what's on your mind, not to extract forgiveness or to effect a reconciliation, but rather to clear the air. Then, continue your personal work. IMO, contact of this sort should be done face to face.
Author Mariana345 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 I don't think this would lead to a reconcilation, there was so much more reasons to breakup, this is just one big part of my faults. However, I don't think he would accept to see me, so I think my best chance is by phone, and that way I can just write it and read it cause I tend to say stupid stuff if I leave my mind goes by herself... So, guys, do you thinks this would be a good idea?
k100danny Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I think if you aren't hoping to get back together but for some reason you feel guilty about the ways you acted in your relationship an apology is fine. Most people would be forgiving and accept the appology. After a previous break up not the most recent one I acted pretty badly and even during and we didn't speak for a couple of months after this. Then I got in touch and basically said I was sorry for how I acted, I didn't blame her for the things that went wrong and I didn't hold bad feelings towards her. I wished her well and that I hoped she was ok and I got a message back saying pretty much the same to me how she was sorry also and although we werent right for each other we both dd some stuff and said some stuff we shouldnt have said. This has led to us becomming very good friends again as we were before we got together, she is one of my closest friends who I can literally tell anything to now and her the same with me, we have both given relationship advice to the other and no romantic feelings are there whatsoever and it is nice to know that an ex doesn't hate you for what you did. If you sincerely want to say sorry for something you did i would wait until you are over that person so you know you are doing it for the right reasons and then make a sincere apology.
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