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Do you REALLY know your type?


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Posted

I confess I don't really know mine :confused:

 

Last girl I really liked was pretty much super attractive to me looks-wise, although a little short at 5 foot 3. She was mixed, and had soft, dark beautiful eyes. As a person, she was eccentric and more than quirky. Sometimes she was very risque and playful, other times she was intense (and boy did she love innuendo!). She kinda rolled all this up into one crazy character, and I liked it. Very ambitious and creative on top of that all.

 

I think if I had to describe what she looked like, I would say a cross between Jada Pinkett and Hilary from Fresh Prince.

 

But since she was the only girl I strongly liked at that point, I'm not really sure whether she was really my type or not, or whether I just don't have a type. So wanted to know if anyone else felt the same about what they were into. Feel free to describe what attributes mean more to you, and why.

Posted

I had an idea of it when I was younger in my early 20's. Tall, skinny, long dark hair.

 

I think these days I'm more flexible in terms of looks when it comes to women. She has to be somewhat attractive, physically though I'm more accepting of a variety of physical features. As the old adage goes, personality is valued more over looks as you get older...and I find that becoming of me as I age.

 

I've also gone through a lot of bad apples so I just want someone who'll treat me nice, is mature, challenge me at times, let me be the man when the situation is right, someone I can have intelligent conversation with, listens, is supportive, and finds me fascinating or likes me a lot. It really is nice to meet someone you like who likes you back, but it gets harder when you get older. I'm not sure if I'm asking for a lot, but I hope for my sake I have realistic expectations at my age and what's left of the pool of prospects.

 

So I guess the answer is no, I don't really know what my type is. But isn't that the point of dating?

Posted (edited)

I'd also like to add that the last person I dated (who inadvertently screwed me over) I was really attracted to and fell in love with her personality was not my typical type physically. But it kind of opened doors for me in terms of what I was willing to accept physically and culturally speaking. So although I was at a loss, I did gain in insight and experience of what I found from within. It also engaged me to grow a bit as a person too. :laugh:

Edited by monkey00
Posted

I honestly believe I don't really have a certain type. When I look back at all of the women I've been attracted to, they're all very different from each other. The last girl was a nice mixed caramel woman. She was about 5'5" with hazel eyes, and was really sexy. She was a really nice girl. Very outgoing and always seemed to have a smile on her face.

 

Another girl that I was really attracted to was a bit darker than her, about my height, had nice big lips, was a little chubby, and was really nice to me, but had an attitude with others. I was really into her--and I think she was into me as well, but I sorta just left it at that, despite all of the positive signals there.

 

So, that's only two of them. They looked so different from each other, but I was very attracted to both of them. I don't think I have a specific type. I just find a variety of women in different shapes, colors, and sizes attractive. I'm fine with that.

Posted

I can be attracted to many types of woman.. but I definitely have a specific "type." I know this about me because all three of my long-term relationships were tall, lanky red-heads. For some reason I am genetically pre-programmed to fall for the Nichole Kidman type. ;)

 

I had a room-mate once and he liked obese women, specifically with "a wandering eye and overbite." (His exact words.) Ya, it was that specific, and DAYM... if you could have only seen the women he brought home. Crazy. :o

Posted

Physically I like all different types. All ethnicities, all hair colors, all sub-culture types (hipsters, rockers, etc)

 

I want to test the waters while I'm still young.

 

I guess the only constant is a pretty face, but who doesn't want that?

 

And I'm a total ass man so that will always be a plus, but not a deal breaker if you're lacking in that area.

 

Personality wise; humble/no ego, open minded, funny, feminine, free spirited, passionate about something, creative.

 

I think that about sums it up.

Posted (edited)

My preferred physical type is pretty broad. Mainly, she has to be a pretty broad :laugh:

 

I'm looking for a girl 5'2-5'8. 20-26ish. Not too skinny, too fat or too athletic, in other words, normal body. Strongly prefer white. Shoulder length hair. Large breasts are a plus, don't care about the back.

 

Liking videogames and/or anime is a huge plus, almost a requirement. Interested in fantasy and or science fiction. Having her own unique hobbies and interests in addition is also great as it would give us things to talk about and do. (For example, my old crush was very into martial arts and marine stuff. )Wants to travel. Is willing to go on bike rides with me, play tennis, go to the gym with me etc. No couch potatoes.

 

For personality, I want somebody who is sweet but also has a bit of an edge to her, able to speak her mind without being bitchy. Good sense of humor, laughs easily and is a bit goofy. Has to be loyal and respectful. Not too crazy. Not a slut in a past life.

 

Must have a healthy sex drive. Wants sex a few times a week at least.

 

I could spend the rest of my life with a girl like that. Now I just somehow need to find her, and trick her into liking me.

Edited by somedude81
Posted

I haven't dated enough women to know my "type"...

Posted

Yeps, I know my type. Looking back, all of the men that I've been with (except my first young love) were all pretty much the same. Same level of success, same level of attractiveness and maturity, same lifestyle, etc.

 

I tried to cast a wider net and to give chance to those that are not on the same level/type as my exes, to see if I can be attracted... but my taste remains constant and I don't know if that's a good thing.

  • Like 1
Posted

I can say that after my first disastrous relationship ended I had a good idea of who was NOT my type.

  • Like 3
Posted
My preferred physical type is pretty broad. Mainly, she has to be a pretty broad :laugh:

 

I'm looking for a girl 5'2-5'8. 20-26ish. Not too skinny, too fat or too athletic, in other words, normal body. Strongly prefer white. Shoulder length hair. Large breasts are a plus, don't care about the back.

 

Liking videogames and/or anime is a huge plus, almost a requirement. Interested in fantasy and or science fiction. Having her own unique hobbies and interests in addition is also great as it would give us things to talk about and do. (For example, my old crush was very into martial arts and marine stuff. )Wants to travel. Is willing to go on bike rides with me, play tennis, go to the gym with me etc. No couch potatoes.

 

For personality, I want somebody who is sweet but also has a bit of an edge to her, able to speak her mind without being bitchy. Good sense of humor, laughs easily and is a bit goofy. Has to be loyal and respectful. Not too crazy. Not a slut in a past life.

 

Must have a healthy sex drive. Wants sex a few times a week at least.

 

I could spend the rest of my life with a girl like that. Now I just somehow need to find her, and trick her into liking me.

 

 

Funny thing, the guy I loved wanted alot of things on your list and I have pretty much all of them but still he somehow didn't love me back I guess. Or maybe some other problem..

Posted
Funny thing, the guy I loved wanted alot of things on your list and I have pretty much all of them but still he somehow didn't love me back I guess. Or maybe some other problem..

 

Meh, sometimes you can have it all, but you possess a trait, quality, or something that someone just can't overlook...

 

That's what has plagued me as a limiting belief all my life...

Posted
Funny thing, the guy I loved wanted alot of things on your list and I have pretty much all of them but still he somehow didn't love me back I guess. Or maybe some other problem..

What was wrong with him? Was he gay?

 

How could he not love Nami-swan!!?

Posted

I don't have a type. Everything I thought I wanted (and got) ended up not being right for me. So I now have no clue whatsoever.

  • Like 2
Posted
Funny thing, the guy I loved wanted alot of things on your list and I have pretty much all of them but still he somehow didn't love me back I guess. Or maybe some other problem..

 

To be honest, very little on that list is indicative of compatibility or other important aspects necessary to maintain a R. You could be all that and then some, and he could be the male equivalent, but that would not say anything about a R's success in the long term. That is why I usually treat 'type' talks as light banter, and nothing more - it takes waaaay more than being someone's 'type' to make a R succeed.

 

TL;DR: Don't worry about it.

Posted

My main thing is that I need someone who is at least as intelligent as me. Lacking this is such a major turn off and something I could never overlook. Of course, that by itself is not enough to make me attracted to someone.

  • Like 2
Posted

i havent got a clue, the only thing i cant stand is bigotry. racism is a big no no.

Posted
What was wrong with him? Was he gay?

 

How could he not love Nami-swan!!?

 

Lol. I have no idea. :laugh:

 

 

I haven't dated enough women to know my "type"...

 

Idk. He liked me but suddenly he said his taste has changed and he doesn't like nice girls like me, he wants girls who do drugs and are bad. He's 27 btw. but this sounds like a teenager if you ask me.

Posted
To be honest, very little on that list is indicative of compatibility or other important aspects necessary to maintain a R. You could be all that and then some, and he could be the male equivalent, but that would not say anything about a R's success in the long term. That is why I usually treat 'type' talks as light banter, and nothing more - it takes waaaay more than being someone's 'type' to make a R succeed.

 

TL;DR: Don't worry about it.

 

He really didn't give us a chance. It's not how you think cause we didn't have a proper relationship.

 

He was closed. Meh maybe he did change or liked someone else from the start. I put so much energy to read him but I got tired. Doesn't really matter now.

Posted

I've got no idea. All I know is that the party girl type isn't my type.

Posted

I guess I've always had a type, but it's not really been physical. Most of the men I've dated have a lot in common in other ways, but they all look a bit different. The last few BFs or serious contenders before Hubby were all relatively short/average height and a bit of a barrel-chested build, but Hubby looks nothing like that!

 

Every guy I've ever really been into has:

*had a great nose (not the same nose, but I've always looked at them and thought, "What a cute nose!")

*had dark hair (as light as light brown and as dark as black, but no blondes or redheads)

 

Those are about the only commonalities I can find physically.

 

However, in other traits, there are many more commonalities:

 

I have a tendency to date smart, nerdy guys who write well but work in the sciences/tech industry, have a combination of nerdy hobbies and artistic hobbies, love museums and history, love teaching and learning in their daily life, and demonstrate an above-average amount of compassion. Generally introverts. I will note that pretty much every guy I've dated has overcome at least one major issue - whether it be absolutely crippling social anxiety or a parent committing suicide or whatever - and I think I'm probably pretty attracted to the kind of inner strength that comes from knowing you battled something difficult. I've met many guys who had genuinely easy lives, but were very similar to the guys I dated in other ways, and something seemed to be missing -- I've always wondered if that was the thing. No idea, really, but I suspect it was. Someone not quite battle-tested in terms of emotional turbulence makes me nervous perhaps.

 

Also, many silly traits in common. For instance, every guy I've dated seriously has preferred IPAs to other kinds of beer, often the same few brands. Lots of small similarities like that, which aren't things I so much 'care about' obviously, but I often feel there must be some natural personality matrix that I like which also produces those things because these guys became really easy to spot. Despite looking nothing alike. :)

  • Like 2
Posted

Physically speaking, I don't really have a type. All the guys I have dated have looked drastically different from each other. Different body types, hair and eye color, heights, weights, etc.

 

Personality-wise, though, I have a very specific type. He must be brilliant. Not just smart, not above average, but brilliant. Well read, funny, into music and art, good with animals. He must be kind. Quick to compliment and help others, able to take care of himself, and must be the type of guy who would go out of his way to defend those that are smaller and weaker.

 

That sort of thing. My current guy nails this 10x over. :love:

Posted

I definitely don't have a physical type. The women I've dated all came in different sizes, shapes, colors, ages, ethnicities, and economic & educational backgrounds. The only physical thing I've noticed is that I apparently like women with red hair and freckles more than other men. But that's more of a relative preference than an absolute one.

 

Personality-wise, I've found that the women I like all tend to be open-minded, curious and playful. They're confident, thoughtful and don't mind being challenged. I also tend to be attracted to people who are a little outside the mainstream (but aren't poseurs).

 

The commonality in all my really disastrous relationships are women who at first appear very confident, but are in reality really insecure. Insecurity is probably my only real dealbreaker at this point in my life.

Posted

Over the last several years, up until now, I had a very specific type--Indian, short/slight build, pretty-boy face, in the engineering profession, English as a second or third language, good at sweeping women off their feet but less than good at really working on a relationship (wanting to break up after every disagreement, etc). Generally I find Indian guys the most physically attractive.

 

As far as personality, I always find myself attracted to guys who are very sarcastic, witty, like to argue, very affectionate, kind of spoiled--like not having really dealt with a lot of hardship in life, being the only/favorite (usually youngest) child in their family. But then that creates conflict because while I'm the oldest child in my family and have had struggles, I don't have much of a nurturing/mothering instinct. I end up just getting frustrated with these guys when they're acting like babies. I now find I prefer much more self-sufficient men who don't expect or even really want a woman to take care of them.

 

I'm on a break from dating right now, and I don't really know what kind of guy I'll end up with in the end, that is, if I am going to have an endgame relationship.

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