AjustableTableLamp Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 My girlfriend broke up with me 4 months ago and I still can't get over her. I got myself a new one but I discovered myself later that I subconsciously used her as a rebound. I still want my ex back. Today we talked a bit and had a mature conversation instead of fighting (There was fighting going on for 2 weeks after the breakup). I talked about my health as I'm currently having issues right now and she seemed interested and worried. She also appeared jealous of my new "girlfriend" and tried to force the idea that I was happy with her in a sarcastic way. She talked a lot about why she stopped loving me and kept saying that I wasn't the man she fell in love with towards the end of the relationship. We had no contact for about 3 months and a half after all the fighting. Do I still have a chance or am I delusional? Oh and also, she portrayed me as a monster during the fighting. She said that I was cruel. But that was back then. Now she says that she's not sure if she sees me as a monster anymore.
sweetheart5381 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Yes, I think you still have a chance. First off, get rid of the new girl, you are hurting her and your chances of a true reconcile. Don't be cruel or mean, tell her the truth, she will at least respect you and herself even though she will be hurt. Second, do you know what went wrong? Do you know what issues caused your relationship to decline/end? Do you have a plan to overcome these obstacles? Does your ex know these things too? Most of all, are you on the "same page", so to speak? Hope that helps.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Keep limited contact with her, but let her think that your present gf adores you, and she talks about how great you are. She wants to know if you are happy with the new gf. Let her think this relationship is going well, so she thinks that she left a good thing. She wont want to try to look for someone new if she can go back to something familiar and better. That will make her jealous and could make her want to try again in the future. If you look happy, she will want to know why SHE couldnt make you happy. Do it subtle like though, dont shovel in the BS. Dont let her know you want to try again, dont let her know you miss her. This is starting over, this is how you attract her again. Then and only then will you have the power in your hands, which will give you the confidence to figure out if you REALLY want to get back with your ex, ior if the new gf is better for you.
sweetheart5381 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Keep limited contact with her, but let her think that your present gf adores you, and she talks about how great you are. She wants to know if you are happy with the new gf. Let her think this relationship is going well, so she thinks that she left a good thing. She wont want to try to look for someone new if she can go back to something familiar and better. That will make her jealous and could make her want to try again in the future. If you look happy, she will want to know why SHE couldnt make you happy. Do it subtle like though, dont shovel in the BS. Dont let her know you want to try again, dont let her know you miss her. This is starting over, this is how you attract her again. Then and only then will you have the power in your hands, which will give you the confidence to figure out if you REALLY want to get back with your ex, ior if the new gf is better for you. I disagree. Relationships are not power-based. They are based on mutual needs, wants and desires. Relationships that last are symbiotic. Being "subtle" and "shoving BS" suggests dishonesty. EVERYONE can pick out a dishonest person. Dishonest people are self-centered. Real love is not self-centered. A true reconciliation will only happen through mutual love and respect... requiring honesty, not BS, power or pretending to be someone you are not.
Author AjustableTableLamp Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Yes, I think you still have a chance. First off, get rid of the new girl, you are hurting her and your chances of a true reconcile. Don't be cruel or mean, tell her the truth, she will at least respect you and herself even though she will be hurt. Second, do you know what went wrong? Do you know what issues caused your relationship to decline/end? Do you have a plan to overcome these obstacles? Does your ex know these things too? Most of all, are you on the "same page", so to speak? Hope that helps. I hit a brick wall in path-choosing when I got accepted in university and I got pretty depressed (blood tests are starting to reveal that it might've been completely uncontrollable due to an under-active thyroid gland). Instead of asking her for help, I latched onto her and didn't give her any room to breathe. She had enough of it and didn't find it attractive. I got a job to sort myself out while I look for something I want to study and the people there are very nice and welcoming which is good because I was feeling lonely. If in things you mean my problems and all that, then yes, I told her today. We are not on the same page. She's doing better than I am.
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