Lady Bug Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 In need of help Please. Me and my ex of six year broke it off five months ago. (lived together for five years) Shortly after the break up he entered a new relationship. I was hurt to the core knowing that he moved on so quickly. I didn't have contact with him until two weeks ago. He called my parents house looking for me twice before I returned his call. Bascially he wanted to know how I was doing, then he went on to say that he missed me. I told him its best that we no longer communicate with him having a girlfriend. He told me he loves me too much not to have contact with me forever, but if that's what i want he will respect it. Although it will be hard and if that what makes me happy. I'm confused I don't understand what he wants. He is still with his girlfriend so why is he calling me, and why is it important for us to communicate.
Pod81 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I'd say one of of 3 possibilities: 1) He's just curious 2) He wants to relieve his own guilt by seeing that you're OK. His thinking is "Oh, I want to stay friendly so I don't seem like the bad guy." 3) His rebound relationship isn't going so well so he wants to be sure you're on his backburner. Doesn't matter which reason it is - none of them are important enough for you to break NC. Especially since the fact that you're posting on this site shows that you're clearly not over him. 1
CC12 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Yeah, my first thought was this, basically: 2) He wants to relieve his own guilt by seeing that you're OK. His thinking is "Oh, I want to stay friendly so I don't seem like the bad guy." Then I read the OP again and noticed that he used some emotional language designed to tug at heartstrings. So now I think this is more like it: 3) His rebound relationship isn't going so well so he wants to be sure you're on his backburner. I'm not sure if I'd use the word "backburner," necessarily, but he is definitely trying to establish an emotional connection with the OP for whatever reason. If he were simply attempting to be amicable and friendly with an ex, he should not have said things like, "I miss you" and, "I love you too much to leave you alone." Lady Bug, I think you absolutely did the right thing by telling him you couldn't communicate with him anymore since he has a girlfriend. Nothing good will come from that. Don't spend another moment wondering what he wants. It does not matter. All that matters is that it is not appropriate for you two to be talking to each other right now, especially due to his overly personal way of trying to be "friends" with you.
Xjusticenlossx Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Yea...hes about to jump ship and wants to make sure he has a golden parachute.
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