macjuggalo Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Ok, here's my story: Married for 10 years (Together for almost 13), I took out a few loans that i didn't tell her about and cashed a check that was meant for the hospital. I never cheated on her but she did with my friend early in the marriage, I forgave and all seemed to be good. In Dec she told me it was over (2 months before our 11th anniversary). Broke my heart to pieces. The first of Jan she shacked up with her 1st cousin who had been in prison for the past 8 years and she had visited with regularly. Broke my heart some more. That "relationship" lasted 2 months and she moved on to her brother in-law in one weekend. He lives in Astoria (which is 2.5 hours away from me) and he wants her to move in (after 3 months of dating). We have two children together (a 11 yr old boy and a 2 yr old daughter) and we have been in regular contact throughout all of this and she lets me have them whenever I want them. So, to make it short it has been 7 months since she left and yesterday out of the blue she tells me things like "I don't know if i can be happy without you", "I miss you so much i can barely handle it, i think all the time about how we could possibly fix it... I don't want to hurt Tony (New boyfriend) but i dont feel like i'm the one for him either" "I'm so heart broken, ive never cried this much in my life.....I love you" "my heart tells me to come back to where i belong but on the other hand how do i trust? and i need to give Tony a chance although i dont think he truly loves me...." "I will always love you, more than anyone else, more than myself...' Pardon my french but what the hell? why now? Ive just recently started getting over her with the help of my therapist, but now I'm super confused, is she playing mind games, why now? after 7 months of blaming me for the failed marriage? Is reality finally hitting her full force or what? I dont know what to do!!! I love this woman with all my heart and dont know whether to try again or wait it out and see if her mind changes or just move on?????
lemonlime Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Wait, she shacked up with her first cousin, in like a sexual way?
Author macjuggalo Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Yes sir, knocked boots :-( Here is a bit more info on us: I'm 32 she is 30. I currently pay her $700 a month for child support but neither of us have filed for divorce yet. She was a "housewife" the entire time we were together and is still currently unemployed. Back on subject now, I got a text from her today saying " have I told you today that you are my best friend? Just saying. ????
Author macjuggalo Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 When I said ".....for better or worse, till death do us part" I meant it. I am a man with integrity. But at the same time I don't know if I can trust her anymore. Not sure if she even wants me back, might just be reality slamming home because she hasn't been alone since she left. That's why I'm confused, not going to waste my energy on someone who doesn't want me....
wilsonx Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 G.I.G.S She has no idea who she is, what she wants, etc
Gulf-Delta Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 When I said ".....for better or worse, till death do us part" I meant it. I am a man with integrity. But at the same time I don't know if I can trust her anymore. Not sure if she even wants me back, might just be reality slamming home because she hasn't been alone since she left. That's why I'm confused, not going to waste my energy on someone who doesn't want me.... All will become clear with time, man. Just give it all time and space to breathe...as much as it takes. Either time will bring her back...or you'll move one. Either way, you'll have a clearer head, and will be in a better state overall.
Gulf-Delta Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 What does gigs mean? It stands for "grass is greener syndrome" It's a term ascribed to, IMO, when a person leaves an otherwise healthy relationship. It usually occurs for ages 20-25...Its just the person going through it going through some kind of phase where they have no idea who they are, what they want, etc. So they leave relationships to go "find themsleves" usually become totally different people, date people they would never date in a million years, normally...
Author macjuggalo Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 Well I'll be damned, that sounds spot on...
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