picaso28 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Hi people, well basically i posted a few months ago about a girl i have started working with that i really like. Anyway I asked for advice on here about reading the signals and poss making a move and thankfully people advised me not to. Well thanks as i am more or less certain she is NOT into me so it saved me looking like a fool in work! Anyway now problem number 2: How can I move on. It is literally driving me mad as I work pretty closely with this girl in a team of around 15 and we see eachother almost every day. Now normally 'time is a healer' as they say and i would soon enough be over her but i am finding it really hard to. Also I am getting jealous when she buddies up with other male collegues to do work or if she talks to me about a friend she has feelings for... Its really not like me and I just want to go back to being me in work and just be friends with this person. At the moment i am finding myself being really moody in work and normally i am quite happy go lucky. Please give me some help here guys....i really need it!
LoverOfDance Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 You're sad. That's what happens when you're around someone you know you may never be with. And I say "may" because as long as you haven't moved on, you still have hope - hope that somehow everything will work out and you two will be together in the end. Been there. It's not fun...AT ALL. To solve my problem, I simply left. If you can, just leave. Try to find another job if you can. If you can't, then it's gonna be really hard and depressing for you. Before I went no contact, I tried to limit my time around him as much as I could. Normally we would go out to eat when classes(dance classes) were over but I stopped doing that. Once classes were done, as difficult as it was 4 me, I packed up and left. I also tried to stay positive and smiley whenever I was around him. I spoke to other ppl and didn't talk 2 him except if he spoke to me. I wasn't doing it to make him feel bad though. I was doing it 4 me. Whenever he spoke to me, I smiled and responded but never tried 2 keep the conversation going. I also found that if u smile regardless of how you're feeling, the smile actually becomes real after some time:) I did this until I found the strength to leave. Whatever u decide, try to stay positive. Don't let yourself sink into depression. Everyone deserves happiness so try and do things that make u feel good about yourself. Just know that you'll be fine with or without her. I'm living proof of that:)
Author picaso28 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 You're sad. That's what happens when you're around someone you know you may never be with. And I say "may" because as long as you haven't moved on, you still have hope - hope that somehow everything will work out and you two will be together in the end. Been there. It's not fun...AT ALL. To solve my problem, I simply left. If you can, just leave. Try to find another job if you can. If you can't, then it's gonna be really hard and depressing for you. Before I went no contact, I tried to limit my time around him as much as I could. Normally we would go out to eat when classes(dance classes) were over but I stopped doing that. Once classes were done, as difficult as it was 4 me, I packed up and left. I also tried to stay positive and smiley whenever I was around him. I spoke to other ppl and didn't talk 2 him except if he spoke to me. I wasn't doing it to make him feel bad though. I was doing it 4 me. Whenever he spoke to me, I smiled and responded but never tried 2 keep the conversation going. I also found that if u smile regardless of how you're feeling, the smile actually becomes real after some time:) I did this until I found the strength to leave. Whatever u decide, try to stay positive. Don't let yourself sink into depression. Everyone deserves happiness so try and do things that make u feel good about yourself. Just know that you'll be fine with or without her. I'm living proof of that:) To be honest I wouldn't say that I am ' sad' nor depressed. It's not that bad at all! It is just frustrating really as I would ask her out for a drink and try to pursue her but i know she likes this other guy. The hard part is moving on while i work with her. As for leaving work, well thats just simply unrealistic and too drastic. Bills to pay etc..... I am just finding it hard to move on as we spend so much time together in work. In the past when i have had a crush on someone who was out of reach then naturally it just fades away as i dont see them at work and its easy to shut them out of my personal life. Anyway thanks for reply. Good to get advice
spinnyspeaker Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I was in a similar situation before. Liked a girl in my Calc class, asked her out, she had a boyfriend. I was stuck on her for months. I wasn't really sad, or longing, or jealous. Just disappointed. It felt weird, just being disappointed. We ended up hanging out every other day when we had class, as we did before, which was pretty tough. I couldn't go elsewhere because I really needed the help from that group with studying. I think the biggest part of getting over her was just telling myself "well, that really sucks. But it's not going to change and it's not going to help to keep wanted her since I know it's not going to happen." I said that every time I thought about her. Every time that feeling came up, wishing it had happened differently, I said that to myself. It made classes much more bearable, and I was surprised that I wasn't acting weird around her (as I always would before in similar situations). Then one night, she just disappeared from my mind. Didn't think about her again. It definitely takes time, but telling yourself not to get down over a situation you have no control over might help. You kinda have to force yourself to give up that hope, that wish that there's a tiny sliver of a chance that it might work out. Cause if you don't get rid of all that wishful thinking, it'll come back full force... kinda like mold... hmm, fun thought, eh? Hope that helps!
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