Have you ever gotten back with or LOST an ex through NC or too much contact?

[gant29]

I am curious what has been the most successful and devastating communication roads you have taken in pursuit of getting back with an ex?

 

Any experience stories would be great...and helpful.

[Warrior]

interesting... lets see, I want to know that also now

[magneet]

interesting... lets see, I want to know that also now

 

 

bump

 

 

me too ...

[fucpcg]

I have three long term relationships where the ex broke up with me and went NC, it wasn't me doing it. The first, we dated almost 4 years but a bit on and off. She contacted me after a year of NC, we tried to make it work again, she turned into super bitch just like how she ended it the first time, then I went NC. 15 years later, she found me on FB and apologized.

 

Next, we dated a very intense year, then a couple of days before the weekend that we were supposed to move in together, she broke it off. We had some discussions, finally she was dating someone else, she went NC. It was never a bad breakup, just a stressed one, like any serious relationship ending would be. She contacted me a year later, but I had moved from West Coast to East Coast, so nothing came of it, but we are still now good friends, like the first girl.

 

Third is story in progress. She broke up with me 16 months ago, went NC, but it's more of a silent treatment than an NC, she's out to be hurtful. I wrote her letters 6 weeks post breakup, 10 weeks post, and 1 year post. There was quite a bit I got wrong in the relationship, and so was the case with her. If she screwed up, she pretty much expected forgiveness and understanding. When I did, I was basically an ********* for not being good to her. Ultimately she holds my heart, and I wish that she would contact me so that we could talk about things, but she hasn't at all.

[lil hoodlum]

With my last long-term relationship, I did NC for the first week just to get my emotions under control. After that for about the next 4/ 5 weeks it was Limited Contact. I allways iniatated. She would respond fairly quickly. I suspected there was still some anger and hurt feelings. I can usually pick up on clues with body language. It didn't really seem to get me anywhere very quickly. The last week I "appeared" to be indifferent and never iniatated contact. After the first day, the ex took notice and now she has made it a point to walk by me repeatedly and/or be in my line of sight. She is constantly looking for me and will smile. A few times she actually spoke first. I would smile back and would respond back but with as few words as possible.

 

So yes, it seems that people really do want what the can't have.

 

I must say, I am enjoying the attention I am getting from her instead of the cold/indiferent/mixed signals I was receiving previously.

 

Oh and by the way praying really does help to get your emotions under control.

[Oncehadluv]

1st breakup - was on her pleading for her back, she did come back but with a new mindset and total bitc*

 

2nd break up i went NC , she has been initiating all the contact but quickly learned she was throwing breadcrumbs so i stayed NC and now see clearly how immature and dependant i was to her and her BS , im emotionally disconnected now and on the lookout for someone new, the thought of me in a realtionship with her again makes me irritable just thinking about it.

 

the first time i should of went NC all the way like im doing now