Ughhhh

[Rekeshina0]

Hi guys. I need some advice.

 

I am 14 almost 15 and I've known this guy Aaron online for almost a year and a half now. Well Aaron is my irl friends ex and after they broke up me and him kinda... Well, started liking eachother. I love him and we plan to meet at my 16th birthday. But the thing is he's 5 years older than me and I'm not sure if a 16 year old and a 21 year old is legal.

 

Ontop of this I'm nervous about meeting him in person. My last boyfriend lasted for 3 years and once we met in person everything fell apart. And I don't want this to happen with Aaron because I am absolutely in love with him and I want to spend my whole life with him.

 

He's really immature for his age which makes him more like me, probably a reason why we both like eachother. I'm also worried he's really going to be a pedophile. And I would want my parents to be there when I meet him but him and they have had issues before which caused my friend and his breakup.

 

I'm also not pretty and I'm overweight but he still says I'm beautiful and that he likes big girls and I'm scared that this won't be the case in person. We haven't webcammed before but we talk on the phone whenever my parents aren't around. He sounds younger than 18 which is why I'm kinda thinking he isn't a pedophile but I'm soooo scared.

 

I can't tell my parents cuz they'll flip out. Someone give me some advice... Please :<

[Chunky]

At your young age it's too early to talk about being with someone forever that you've only spoken to online or on the phone. He hasn't even seen you yet. You don't know how he'll really feel about you when he meets you in person. Whe a girl is 20 and a guy is 25, no one will care but if a girl is 16 and a guy is 21, it's against the law if things get out of hand. Which at your age it shouldn't. I would just be friends with this guy and just wait for God to bring you someone more compatible for you to be with. Good luck!

[Ninjainpajamas]

Awww man...

 

First off, yes that would be considered illegal If you're in the United States, and he could go to jail and If I was dad I would very likely do something very mean.

 

Secondly, this guy is too old for you. It's hard for you to see that because you're only 16 but when you're 21 you're realize how much younger that really is, right now you're just thinking that (age is just a number) thing and even the people that play that game will admit that 21 is far and away too much older than 16.

 

You're also very inexperienced, insecure about yourself and your hormones are telling you need this big fulfillling romance, something that you know nothing about it...in fact if you read your diary at mid 20s or even 30s you'll think you were so young and just didn't know what you were thinking, it's just young/puppy type love....forever is a big word and being that you've only lived for 16 years, conscience of how many? you don't know a whole lot about life, love and romance.

 

This is a very dangerous situation because this guy has the upper hand in every way over you and your emotions are going to tell you it's real and worth the risk, but you've got to be smarter than that and let your mind keep you out of trouble because you could do a lot of stupid things out of a situation like this, especially If you continue to be this way as you get older.

 

Most of us here are much older than 16 and could tell you without even a second thought that you should stop talking to this guy. It's not because we don't want you to find "love" or have it, but it's because we know better, we've all been there and trust me when I say you're going to think a helluva a lot differently when you're in your 20's even that you won't even blink an eye at this even though this feels so real right now in the moment, it's a mind trick, it's what you do when you're young...you just go off the deep end on everything and have no concept of time and life.

 

Also, you have to build some confidence and respect for who you are...just because you are not very pretty or overweight does not mean you should settle for boys who lie to you and tell you all the nice things so they can sleep with you...and trust me, these boys don't just usually say they want to sleep with you....they tell you they love you, need you and want to be with you forever and miss you so much yadda yadda yadda...then after you're with them they wake up and say "welp! that was nice....time to move on!".

 

You should on your weight for your health and not be so hard on yourself on your looks...I've known gorgeous women with amazing bodies who were more insecure than anyone I've ever met in my life, they look in the mirror and see fat and ugly and wonder If a guy will ever want to settle down with them...don't be that kind of a girl, it doesn't matter what you look like and what you weigh, you ALWAYS deserve respect, you have to value yourself and take care of yourself instead of let people use you because you feel worthless...help yourself, fix yourself, be the best person you can be and look for someone in the future that loves you for who you are, that's what keeps people together, not looks or weight in relationships because eventually you'll get used to seeing that person regardless.

 

Your parents will flip out, try talking to an older woman about this If you have someone, someone who is more understanding and won't judge you so they can help you get through these times, you need support and to get yourself together, at this rate you're looking to get yourself in a lot of trouble with men and you're only 16...you've got to wake up and see the game or your emotions will lead you to heartbreak even though you think you are chasing "love"...It's not love, It's just being young we all experience that, that's why we know.