unforgiven13 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I want to know what anyone else would do in this situation. I am completely confused. My ex and I were trying to be "friends" Apparently to him this meant f*cking with my head daily, being nice one moment and flipping out on me the next. We had been broken up for a few weeks and it was torture. Even before we broke up he was being terrible to me. I kept giving it chance after chance, then HE broke up with ME. Worst thing that happened though was last week, I was at the beach with my friend trying to have a nice day. My ex was in Maine having a grand old time with his friends, it really hurt because we were supposed to go up together but at the last minute he said I shouldn't and flipped out on me. I went up for a day with my friend because I was so looking forward to being in Maine and I was on vacation. He txted me while I was up there to meet up and when we did he acted SO weird. Completely awkward, wouldn't even look at me. He just went back with his friends quickly and later on I asked if he wanted to meet up again and watch the fireworks or something and he just kept saying no. I know we were broken up, but jeez we dated for almost 2 years, it's still me and he was telling me everyday he loves me. Seriously, we were still talking everyday, all day and he called me every night to say goodnight. Up until this point, I was under the impression we were close friends and we still wanted to see each other. Anyway, so a day or two later I'm at the beach. I check my phone and have a bunch of txts from him flipping out on me. His friends showed him my fb status as if it was about him, it was just song lyrics, actually making fun of a song and had nothing to do with him. I don't even know why he or his friends would think that. Everyone else I told this story to thinks it's crazy. Well I tried telling him it was a song and not about him, but he said he didn't want to hear it. Called me every name in the book, wouldn't let me explain myself, told me to get out of his life, said he's over me, said I need to take a good look at my actions because if I don't I'm never going to get along with anyone and no one will ever love me. A lot of this was over the phone when I tried calling him to tell him he had the complete wrong idea. He was with his friends and being so mean. If I tried talking he would just yell over me and say he's not listening and doesn't care what I'm saying. The name calling and saying I'm a stupid f*king person and a bitch and a whore...it's just disgusting. I literally didn't even do anything. I had been waiting for him to get back from his vacation to tell him I don't think we should talk for a while because he has been really mean to me. I wanted to end things nicely because I care for him, but I guess he wanted to end things in the most immature, dramatic, abusive way possible. He deleted me from fb and told me to delete his friends. He won't speak to me and refuses to let me explain my side and get some closure. I'm pretty pissed off about all this. He didn't even ASK me if my status was about him or what it meant, he just assumed and flipped out and wanted no explanation from me. He acted like a monster. His words..just disgusting. I couldn't even list everything he called me and said to me, it was terrible. I'm left so confused and frustrated. I don't even understand why he would get that upset even if I was talking about him. It doesn't make any sense. I'm pissed off at his stupid immature friends for showing him my status and putting that in his mind. They don't know him like I do and they don't understand what kind of monster they had just unleashed on me. I never had a problem with his friends, I thought they were good people and liked me. The only thing I could ever say is they are a few years younger and kind of immature. Well also, my ex is currently on probation and is subject to drug tests, but they still smoke weed around him ALL the time, grow weed around him (what he got in trouble for), and offer it to him. So I guess they aren't the greatest friends, but I didn't hold anything against them, now I'm pissed at them for interfering and my ex for believing something so stupid and flipping out on me like that. What should I do? Keep trying to get closure? Let it go? Send him a message of how I feel? I really wanted to end things nicely. I still care about him a lot. Wouldn't want to be with him, but I'm very forgiving and I just don't believe every relationship has to end with people hating each other. I don't like to have bad feelings towards anyone. The worst thing is he has threatened me. Not my life, but he has said things like "You'll be sorry." There's a lot he could do to me that would hurt or destroy me and I couldn't get him in trouble for it. He told me I can't speak to an old friend of mine because we slept together over a year ago and I would be a liar, whore and I'd be betraying him again. If I do speak to my friend he threatened to do disgusting things. Like awful, I don't even want to type it here cause idk..it's just terrible he would even think to hurt me like that. Please what should I do? Thanks for reading.
livelife Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 First of all, why is that someone you want to be with? He is being SO disrespectful to you. I understand you still have feelings for him, but oh my gosh. What a jerk! I think you need to block him from facebook, he still has your number, what I would do is message him before you block him explaining yourself, but also explaining how rude and disgusting he has been towards you and that you deserve better. Then block him. I would say message his friends and speak your mind to them as well, but that might be too much, not sure. I do think you need to block them on facebook, it will just cause problems. Social networking is never good for breakups. how recent has the breakup been?
CopingGal Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 1-stay away from him 2-delete your facebook account. He sounds unstable and maybe...maybe potentially dangerous 3-Here's your closure: The man's an immature ass. There you go. Take care of you.
Sugarkane Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Just completely cut him and his Ahole friends right off. I've been in a similar situation before and you'll never get any logic out of them. He should be a callous jerk and his friends shouldn't be encouraging and supporting such disgusting behavior. Cut him off like a cancer.
Author unforgiven13 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Thanks everyone for responding. Looks like no matter who I ask, I pretty much get the same answer. Livelife- I don't want to be with him anymore. We've broken up and gotten back together a few times because he always acts SO different when he wants me back. He is as sweet, kind and romantic as can be. He has this wonderful compassionate side, but lately I've been questioning whether or not it's even real. Just the night before we were supposed to go to Maine together, he was being so nice to me. There were days he'd flip out on me just for saying something the wrong way then later on he would be helping me with my homework and joking around. The mind games have made it difficult for me to let go and even make me question if maybe I'm really a bad person or a bad friend and he is right about the things he says. The breakup was recent. We officially broke up only maybe a month ago, but never stopped talking. I was thinking of messaging him like you said, but I don't want him to cause anymore drama. He said he won't speak to me cause he's done with drama (Ha) so I said well then why did you flip out on me in the first place? There was no need for any of that so he caused his own drama. I want to speak to his friends too, but they will all just think I'm the crazy ex and I'm causing drama and just sympathize with him more, you know? It's annoying, but I'd like to be able to tell them right off. I believe I should cut him off too, but I was trying to end things nicely. This was someone at one point I thought I was going to marry and have a life with. I thought we cared for each other very deeply, so I hate to see it go sour like this. I have another ex who was seriously abusive and I have so many ill feelings towards him, I don't want to hate another person. What about the way he has threatened and blackmailed me? Should I just live my life and feel free to do what I want? I feel like I'm still his prisoner and can't do what I want because he will destroy my life. I hate feeling like this.
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