Should I ask my boyfriend for a break?

[neveragain2493]

I've been dating my boyfriend for the past two and a half years. We've had ups and downs. He's cheated on me and asked me for a break twice in the past because he didn't know how he felt about me anymore, but now, I feel like it's me that's feeling this way.

I feel like I've "outgrown" him, if that makes any sense. We transitioned from a high school to a college relationship, and it's been a huge difference. For the past few weeks or so, I haven't felt like I've been hanging out with a boyfriend. I haven't had the desire to see or talk to him. I don't feel sexually excited with him anymore. I don't have a feel for conversation. I'm honestly at that point in my life where I have a desire to see what's out there and have fun. I don't know if I can see a future there anymore.

 

For instance, my best friend introduced me to her 3 good friends, who are all guys and roommates. They go hand in hand, so sometimes when I'm with her, I'm with them, and my boyfriend hates it. Last night, when I was hanging out with all of them, he drove by the apartment looking for my car and then called me from outside and asked where I was. He even looked up my friend's address and drove by her house. He saw a picture of my friend and I kissing one of the guys on the cheek (that she's in love with), and he freaked out and told me I wasn't allowed to see them anymore. I asked him if he trusted me, and he just kind of sat there. I honestly don't feel the need to answer to him like he's my parent.

 

I'm confused because I don't know what I want right now. What do I say?

[CherryRed27]

It's like a good old pair of shoes that you have out grown, you like them, your used to them and they were comfortable but they just don't fit anymore. You can't make your foot smaller and if you continue to wear them I'm afraid your gonna get blisters and they're going to fall apart. In plain English, babygyrl, your young and when us girls start off, which sometimes happens to be later in life than our male counter parts, we get attached easily and then feel like we haven't lived. Well we haven't, there is so much stigma out there for us women that we really don't get to live. If you sleep with too many guys your a slut, if you have to many boyfriends your a gold digger etc... The only advice I can give is that you only get one life to live, and you can't live it on anyone elses terms. It seems to my that you don't want to hurt him but you need and want to move on. Don't waste anymore of your time and especially don't waste anymore of his. Do what your gut tells you.

[k100danny]

I'd say this relationship doesn't look like the one for you. He has cheated on you, you've had a break twice to see if he still wants to be with you nd now you are thinking of asking for a break to see if you want to still be with him. I have never understood " on a break" it's basically saying to someone I want to see what is out there and if there is nothing better I will come back. I would never do that to someone and I would never wait for someone who asked for one i would just take it as a break up.

 

This does sound like after the 2 year mark which is usually the max for the honeymoon period you are starting to see the relationship for what it is, if it isn't for you anymore you don't have to feel guilty if you are honest and say this at all.

 

I don't now what you are feeling or your boyfriend obviously but from what you have wrote I would say you arent getting the satisfaction you once were and you can either accept that that is part of longer term relationships and agree to keep in the relationship or cut ties and see if there is someone better out there for you.

[flitzanu]

"i don't know what i want right now" = means you at least know that this isn't fully what you want, otherwise you wouldn't be confused.

 

i'd presume it's fear of walking away from a longterm relationship and starting fresh with someone who isn't a cheating douchebag.