Nicole11 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 We have been dating 3 years, but lately he is very busy at work, I know, plus haveing some serious issues with his ADULT children, one in jail, trying to appeal, the other so wacked out on drugs she lost her two children, he seems to be pulling away from me, I don't get why, I have helped him financially with the attorney fees for his kids, I have been understanding or tried to be, and what have I gotten? Kind of pushed aside, he tells me he loves me, BUT we never go out anymore, he has stopped calling, texting, emailing, just king of pushing me away. I have tried talking to him about it and he swears he loves me, there is no one else, but I feel so abandoned. He is leaving for two weeks, (help the daughter) and we had made plans to go out to dinner and spend the evening together, but AGAIN I know he is going to cancell and go. It breaks my heart, why is he doing this to me? What should I do? I love what we have when we are together, am I just a fool?
aRealMan Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 His kids are f*cked up and all over the place. What do you expect him to do? Honestly? What do you expect him to do? Just let his own blood rot away as their dad sits back doing nothing. I feel sorry, though.
Author Nicole11 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 I would never expect him NOT to try and help, I too have tried to help, I expect him to be there for them, but I also expect some respect and compassion for me too! He has cancelled every plan we have made in the past few months, yet will go out with his bosses. That is insulting to me! I have paid thousands of dollars to his son's attorney, THOUSANDS, I have been patient, and yet get treated like I can be blown off anytime. I could not tell you how many times in the past few months I have been dressed and ready to go out and he cancells at last minute! Yet he tells me he loves me? GOD I am a fool, well if he leaves town and cancells on me again? It will kill me inside, I don't know what to do, I too have problems, I too have needs and one of them is for my man to treat me right!
aRealMan Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I would never expect him NOT to try and help, I too have tried to help, I expect him to be there for them, but I also expect some respect and compassion for me too! He has cancelled every plan we have made in the past few months, yet will go out with his bosses. That is insulting to me! I have paid thousands of dollars to his son's attorney, THOUSANDS, I have been patient, and yet get treated like I can be blown off anytime. I could not tell you how many times in the past few months I have been dressed and ready to go out and he cancells at last minute! Yet he tells me he loves me? GOD I am a fool, well if he leaves town and cancells on me again? It will kill me inside, I don't know what to do, I too have problems, I too have needs and one of them is for my man to treat me right! oooooooooooooo. I didn't see anything like that in your original post. I thought he just left you for his kids (which is understandable). Well, that's enough. You seem to actually like him and care enough to help through his tough times, but he's passing you up for people outside of his problem net. I'd leave him if I were you. I'm surprised women like you are on here. This forum is a f*cking cesspool full brown-nosing, beta, shemales and useless bio-receptacles. But you seem like person who cared for her guy. Log out of this sh*tty place. Break up with him. And start all over again in finding a more appreciative guy. Good luck. Lord knows the useless b*tches on this forum, should be more like you.
Author Nicole11 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 My head says if he cancels? Wish him Luck and a safe trip and back away, my heart is breaking, we had such a great relationship, we got along so well, then he changed, it's killing me.
utterer of lies Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 My head says if he cancels? Wish him Luck and a safe trip and back away, my heart is breaking, we had such a great relationship, we got along so well, then he changed, it's killing me. It's probably not his boss he goes out and spends all the time with, but another woman. But he keeps you for your money. 1
mickleb Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Never give to receive love. Give because you want to. The guy is irresponsible. He has done a terrible job as a father and takes as a partner. Why should he get any more of your energy? Forget about what he was like 'in the beginning'. That was his method to get you round his little finger. When you two are done, he'll move on to the next woman who has self-esteem low enough to pretend he really loves her. Sorry.
Author Nicole11 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 He does not need my money, but that I don't care about, he has blown me off, I spoke with him for a minute this am he was short with me and well, mean. I have not called or texed, I will not ever again and I will NOT take his calla anymore. I bought a bottle of wine and I'm going to cry. I am so hurt. So unbelievably hurt. Right now I hate him. Not angry, hate. UGH!
Feelsgoodman Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Maybe this guy was just using you or maybe he's simply not in the right frame of mind to date because of all the issues with his kids...it's impossible to make a definitive conclusion based on the limited information provided. I notice that women have a tendency to be drawn to troubled men and then wonder why things fall part.
g450 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Wow! I am kind of dealing with a similar kid issue myself. I remarried but this has caused some tension beteween us and continues to do so. Happily we dont have any problems between ourselves though so the marriage is good. In your case it sounds like he is putting his kids over you and rightly so, but he shouldnt do that at the expense of your relationship. In my case I understand her kids come first. But there are boundries that she knows she should not cross with me. My home, my rules. And if her lack of discipline towards her kids affects our marriage then she will have two choices, fix the issue with your kids or start packing. Luckily they are mostly grown and we will be living by ourselves soon enough. Or at least thats the plan. I hate to say it but you should not have paid his fees. You are being used girlfriend. On more than just one level I am afraid. I feel bad for you as sometimes messed up kids will destroy a relationship even after they move out. You might consider cutting your losses and remember to only date men with no children.
Recommended Posts