steveblack Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 How To Respond To Your Ex’s “No Contact” Rule | | Ask Love Doctor Yangki Christine Akiteng There a lot more over there as well. what do you think?
Author steveblack Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 anything? It seems to be going against everything I have heard everywhere. Just doesn't make sense.
Svet74 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 it makes sense. but in order to understand if you staying in contact is the right way to go you gotta think logically. and make sure that he is not using you. guess depends on the situation
Million.to.1 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 There are some valid points in the article. But I think the "no contact" rule she is referring to is the one people use to try and get their ex back. If you are using no contact as a way to move on and heal your life, And your ex KNOWS that you want to use this approach, not because you are angry or hate them, but because having them around is painful, then it's not manipulation, it's a tool. I have never agreed with the idea of using NC when the other party doesn't understand why you are doing it.
Ajax Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Well it does acknowledge the fact that some people use NC to heal and move on, but it's almost an afterthought. The main thrust of the article seems to be that dumpers still have the right to a relationship with the dumped, and to establish the parameters thereof. It does almost sounds like the advice is, "The person you dumped is trying to take some power back, so you better nip that in the bud and show them who's boss!" It also keeps mentioning, "if you do get back together... then..." Which considering this is from the dumpers perspective makes anyone holding this attitude seem pretty immature and self centered. As if the breakup itself was a power play to get an ex to conform to their wishes. I don't agree with it and it's probably not worth the time I took to read it. 1
Oncehadluv Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 the author of that article contradicts himself/herself at the tail end of the explination, take anything you read off the net with a grain of salt
january2011 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Well it does acknowledge the fact that some people use NC to heal and move on, but it's almost an afterthought. The main thrust of the article seems to be that dumpers still have the right to a relationship with the dumped, and to establish the parameters thereof. It does almost sounds like the advice is, "The person you dumped is trying to take some power back, so you better nip that in the bud and show them who's boss!" It also keeps mentioning, "if you do get back together... then..." Which considering this is from the dumpers perspective makes anyone holding this attitude seem pretty immature and self centered. As if the breakup itself was a power play to get an ex to conform to their wishes. I don't agree with it and it's probably not worth the time I took to read it. Yup, pretty much my view on the article. I think that any ploy to try to get someone back is problematic but to refer to "no contact" as emotional abuse is ridiculous, in my opinion. To place more emphasis on the reader calling out the dumpee rather than erring on the side of caution and assuming that the dumpee wants to take time to heal, is not good advice. It seems more emotionally healthy to just accept the NC and move on (the relationship is over anyway, right?) rather than punctuating it with an "a ha, caught you out" text, which comes across as twisting the knife then running off. Why not just run off?
Sugarkane Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 This woman is really full of it. I found this after my breakup. Out if curiosity I asked her about my own situation. She refused to answer my question and gave me some BS about me not believing in contact. She never answered my questions at all. Dont bother!!!
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