RiverRunning Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I've told you all before about my ugly aunt who somehow gets male attention like no tomorrow. In her heyday (if we can call it that), she was about 5'4", 5'5" and 115 pounds. She was very light. But my God I don't know what was up with that face. I'm mostly exaggerating now for comedic effect, but the woman has always had deep bags under her eyes, all over the middle of her face, droopy, sleepy-looking eyes, and yellowish looking skin (maybe all those cigarettes, who knows). I figured most people would rate her as pretty average, maybe the lower end of that. But this aunt goes on and on about how all these guys think she's so hot: all the guys in my uncle's band, random people they run into, etc. My mom never believed it until she went out with the aunt for a drink, and guys were buying her drinks left and right. In my experience, how thin a woman is plays the biggest role in whether or not she sees herself as attractive. Thin women generally get a lot more attention - out in public, in online dating, etc. If they're good-looking to boot, amen! But I'd say that even the thinnest ugly woman has better odds of being seen as attractive than a beautiful overweight woman. I'd say I probably way downplay my physical attractiveness, but a lot of that is for external reasons. I've never had a guy ask for my phone number. The closest I came to a random guy hitting on me was a man just outright staring at me for 5 to 10 minutes in a store (call me, baby!). I've had two boyfriends. I had a few dates while I was single, but they were absolute losers. Other than the two boyfriends I've had, I can only think of 2 other men (since I was 16, so close to 10 years now) who expressed outright interest in me. They were friends. Meanwhile, I've had friends who have had dozens of boyfriends and they have guys lined up ready to go out with them. Some of them are really gorgeous and really thin; some of them are really gorgeous and really, really overweight; some are perfectly average. I don't know what it is! I don't attract men, though. So yes, to answer the question: there are tons of women AND men who overrate their physical attractiveness. Really, I think part of that also stems from low self-esteem. What looks like a superiority complex is actually a person who's trying to cover negative feelings.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I notice that the really attractive women tend to be insecure and the not so attractive women tend to really think they are model material. Yeah, I agree with this
Dafa Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Absolute fact. This is why I tell Men the hotter they are the more insecure they are. Learn this, know this, apply this and you can land any hot girl you want. The more attractive and hotter they are the more insecure they are. Easy pickings. Please do elaborate! What are the applicable strategies?
RiverRunning Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Yeah, I agree with this I hope it's true - it must mean I'm attractive, then! Nah, I figure that probably comes down to the fact that the more attractive a woman is, the more effort she's putting in toward it (dieting, make-up, possibly surgeries, etc.) and the more important it is to her. If it's that important to her...she's probably more prone to body dysmorphic disorder and all those other fun times. She's simply never beautiful enough, the imperfections that nobody else can see are glaringly obvious, etc. And maybe it's a tool to overcompensate. Because, unfortunately, attractive women who post saying that they 'know' they're beautiful are going to get a lot of crap for it. People are expected to be humble, especially about looks. I fully admit that when I see a post like that from somebody, I kind of roll my eyes. An aside: There was a woman here a year or so ago...I forget her name now...and she just posted endlessly about how she knew she was attractive. She had an album of pictures of herself. Honestly, she was pretty average. Eventually she talked about how hot she was until some people started tearing into her, and she eventually relented and admitted that she was very insecure about her looks. I felt bad for her. She had no reason to be insecure...she just hadn't found middle ground with her appearance. It was an all-or-nothing rip on myself for being hideous thing, or "gloat about how hot I am." Back to the point: So, the beautiful woman with low self-esteem is probably seen more positively because suddenly - hey, she's suffering! She's one of us! Beauty isn't everything! We really hate to see someone who's good-looking due to a blessing combo of genetics and hard work (mostly if we feel it's genetic), and then they reap all of the benefits of that. I think part of us feels relieved, that all is fair in the world, when good-looking women have low self-esteem or, at best, they're very humble about their looks. And sadly, we feel the same way about average women too.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I hope it's true - it must mean I'm attractive, then! Nah, I figure that probably comes down to the fact that the more attractive a woman is, the more effort she's putting in toward it (dieting, make-up, possibly surgeries, etc.) and the more important it is to her. If it's that important to her...she's probably more prone to body dysmorphic disorder and all those other fun times. She's simply never beautiful enough, the imperfections that nobody else can see are glaringly obvious, etc. And maybe it's a tool to overcompensate. Because, unfortunately, attractive women who post saying that they 'know' they're beautiful are going to get a lot of crap for it. People are expected to be humble, especially about looks. I fully admit that when I see a post like that from somebody, I kind of roll my eyes. An aside: There was a woman here a year or so ago...I forget her name now...and she just posted endlessly about how she knew she was attractive. She had an album of pictures of herself. Honestly, she was pretty average. Eventually she talked about how hot she was until some people started tearing into her, and she eventually relented and admitted that she was very insecure about her looks. I felt bad for her. She had no reason to be insecure...she just hadn't found middle ground with her appearance. It was an all-or-nothing rip on myself for being hideous thing, or "gloat about how hot I am." Back to the point: So, the beautiful woman with low self-esteem is probably seen more positively because suddenly - hey, she's suffering! She's one of us! Beauty isn't everything! We really hate to see someone who's good-looking due to a blessing combo of genetics and hard work (mostly if we feel it's genetic), and then they reap all of the benefits of that. I think part of us feels relieved, that all is fair in the world, when good-looking women have low self-esteem or, at best, they're very humble about their looks. And sadly, we feel the same way about average women too. Haha. I think if a woman posted a picture of herself with a title "I am so ugly" you would get tons of people telling her how she is beautiful etc etc (never mind what the picture looks like). Now if she posted the same picture with a title "I am so hot", you would get tons of people telling her that she is barely average and not all that. Go figure
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Having boobs and a vag = automatic 5 point boost in looks. This thread is proving that many men feel otherwise. The bromance is a beautiful thing. 1
irc333 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 It's common for a more attractive woman to actually be pursued even less than an average woman because they can intimidate more men as well. True, but I think A LOT of men just think the woman is spoken for by an equally attractive man, so they don't bother approaching, because no one THAT attractive could possibly be single. I mean, most men have in the past approached such women, only to find their boyfriend showing up moments later or they start talking about their boyfriend. Eventually, they just stop approaching them thinking, "Meh, I bet she has a boyfriend. A woman THAT attractive is bound to be with someone." and moves on. And yes, the more attractive a woman is, the more hard they are on themselves about their physical beauty.
Lonely Ronin Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 True, but I think A LOT of men just think the woman is spoken for by an equally attractive man, so they don't bother approaching, because no one THAT attractive could possibly be single. This is so true, it should be engraved in stone!
AD1980 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I don't think it's that women overrate their own looks - as has been pointed out many times, the vast majority of women are very insecure about their looks. Rather, it is that women underrate men's looks, certainly according to OkCupid anyway. So guys, it's not that the girls think they're too hot for you, it's that they think you're too ugly for them lol good point,probably why a small percentage of men get the most women and why good looking men like my friend get swarmed like hes the last good looking guy on the planet
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