Dating: Supply Of Men Vs. Supply Of Women

[Els]

That's because it's a picture of me, and I am your professor!

 

Eep.

 

If you grew up in the United States then what you have done, may have been different.

 

As for dating the older women, you do know that's not an option. Do you really expect men in their 20's to have serious relationships with women in their 40's?

 

Yes I am almost 31 years old, but I haven't been 30 my entire life, while I have had dating issues, ever since I became interested in girls. Dating older women who are now willing to settle down, wasn't a possibility.

 

Hey, not expecting anyone to do anything. Simply saying: There is a logical solution to this 'disparity' that you speak of. It isn't necessarily a personally good one.

[Emilia]

 

So, doesn't it stand to reason that there are equal amounts of single men and women out there available for dating?

 

Even, perhaps, equal amounts of both men and women who drop out of the dating scene entirely, and just live out life alone?

 

 

I liked the Wholigan's response the most and it's closest to my life experiences but I'd also say that I think women have it easier in general because the way we are socialised. This means we are more gregarious and sociable on average, while men - especially over 40 - are not socialised to be quite as outgoing especially regarding negative aspects of their dating lives. This means men can become more brittle when they face the uphill battle of finding a long term dating partner.

 

I think younger men in general experiment more than younger women - though perhaps this is changing in new generations - and this is why you see guys in their 20s wanting sex with older women. This is speaking from experience. You are attracted to whom you are attracted to, you can't rationalise dating thinking 'oh 23 year-old girls date 30 year-old men therefore I must date 35 year-old women'. It doesn't work like that. Men are not concerned about settling down in their early 20s therefore they do what they like, they go for whom they like.

 

This changes in their late 20s, early 30s when they are more likely to seek out mates of their own age to start a family. If they divorce when they hit late 30s or older, their availability in the dating pool will very much depend on how well they dealt with their disappointments in life. Apparently women initiate divorces more as men tend to be happy with the status quo even if sex becomes scarce in a marriage. They like being looked after while as women have more options in terms of different kinds of lifestyles, they don't necessarily wish to look after their husbands anymore.

 

So I think from what I have seen, men take themselves out of the dating pool over 40 more readily than women do. Before that, the easiest time to pair off is in your late 20s to mid 30s because most people marry those that are close to their age. Learning and development characterises the early 20s and that broadly speaking means different things to either sex. Guys want to s**g around more, gals pick older, more settled guys to avoid being mucked about.

 

I'd also add that a significant majority of mentally healthy people do stay married and that means those middle aged that come back to the dating pool are often f**d up. That will also affect their availability for further relationships and what they are capable of.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Emilia

[FitChick]

Thanks to divorce, people are constantly circulating in and out of the dating pool. However, more baby boys are born than girls but their numbers diminish as time passes due to boys' more risky behavior and, later, declining health compared to women. So if you live long enough there will be very few men alive and what is left you wouldn't want.

[FitChick]

As a man who will be able to retire by 40...

 

Really? Do you know more than economists and financial experts and some very wealthy people who have lost all or most of their money in the past few years? Many who thought they were set for life will work themselves into an early grave.

[Negative Nancy]

Really? Do you know more than economists and financial experts and some very wealthy people who have lost all or most of their money in the past few years?

 

He's probably talking about his disability check that he will receive for his mental issues.

[Chicago_Guy]

So, fill me in on the dynamics of dating for a man at his age. So, a 45 year old man, average looking, blue collar, average salary, is not going to have any trouble meeting women his age and his status?

 

Is it just the younger guys in their twenties that have a hard time on the dating scene in finding women?

 

Could you explain how this works, by the sheer numbers?

 

For example, is it true then, than folks in their 40's are fairly equally balanced in power on the dating scene? They don't have the trouble that the guys in their 20's have, finding women?

 

Or will women in their 40's have a difficult time finding dating partners?

 

In your opinion of course, Algermas. And Algermas, are you a man in your 20's, 30's, or 40's? I would like to know who's life experience I am getting feedback from, it helps me in the learning process. THanks!!

 

If he has anything going for him and is reasonably attractive, a 45-year-old man will probably not be willing to settle for a 45-year-old woman unless she really brings a lot to the table, such as exceptionally attractive looks or possibly even if she makes or has a lot of money in some cases. Otherwise, if this man has options, he'll probably go for women at least 5 years younger.

[Negative Nancy]

a 45-year-old man will probably not be willing to settle for a 45-year-old woman

 

there it is again. and people tell me i'm bitter and jaded when i talk about men settling for women

 

and on top of that, men complain that women their own age don't want them in their 20s, yet they are just as discriminating when THEY get older

 

but I am the bitter one, yeah right

[ThaWholigan]

You're all bitter as far as I'm concerned .

 

[WonderKid]

LoL I wouldn't say I'm bitter anymore. Just a growing veteran now.

[Forever Learning]

You're all bitter as far as I'm concerned .

 

 

Except me!! I'm sweet as apple butter and sweet potato pie. My name in real life means 'sweet as honey'. And I usually am! Of course we all have an off day once in a while. Love you Wholigan!

 

 

I rarely let anyone sh*t in my Wheaties!!

[ascendotum]

I think a couple of the posts have touched on the M/F supply issue with OLD. Looking at it it terms of the age brackets will highlight differences imo. I find in the 30s in the a couple of sites I looked at there were a fair difference with more men then women, like 4-5 times more where I live. I checked the sign up rate for women 20/30s compared to 40/50s on one, and it was like 10x greater for the older women. Thats great news for the guys mid 40s up like your ex, especially all the more as it seems he is above avg in looks.

 

A number of single women I know in their 30s, when the topic of OLD has come up they have said its beneath them, no way will they pay to find a guy when guys are still hitting on them when they go out, or its for losers. The women I knew who were using OLD where getting a stack of msgs each week coming in, and they said it was too much to give proper attention to, so they would skim the images, and pick out 1/2 dozen of the best looking guys to then focus on. Its makes sense and I would do the same if I was getting hammered with options. For sure these guys get a lot of responses back from the women, and have a bit of a 'kid in a candy store mentality', and do the rounds with quite a few women. Some player guys I know will break up after 1-3 mths to then immediately pursue a new prospect, others will cultivate a new prospect while in a relationship so they can monkey branch to, and others still have past online gfs stay on as fwb while they date new women. Some of the women I know, have dropped out after one bad experience with a player (but their profile stays up and they still log in every now & then to see their msgs).

Factors that lead to an imbalance much more so with the under 45s I reckon.

 

Also having PE or not being a great lover does not stop a guy from getting dates or ending up with a woman in bed...just makes it harder for him to keep them on long term (if thats his agenda).

[TheWatcher]

Much more difficult for the avg man to get a date than the avg woman. Therefore, a greater number of lonely men than women.

[Forever Learning]

I think a couple of the posts have touched on the M/F supply issue with OLD. Looking at it it terms of the age brackets will highlight differences imo. I find in the 30s in the a couple of sites I looked at there were a fair difference with more men then women, like 4-5 times more where I live. I checked the sign up rate for women 20/30s compared to 40/50s on one, and it was like 10x greater for the older women. Thats great news for the guys mid 40s up like your ex, especially all the more as it seems he is above avg in looks.

 

A number of single women I know in their 30s, when the topic of OLD has come up they have said its beneath them, no way will they pay to find a guy when guys are still hitting on them when they go out, or its for losers. The women I knew who were using OLD where getting a stack of msgs each week coming in, and they said it was too much to give proper attention to, so they would skim the images, and pick out 1/2 dozen of the best looking guys to then focus on. Its makes sense and I would do the same if I was getting hammered with options. For sure these guys get a lot of responses back from the women, and have a bit of a 'kid in a candy store mentality', and do the rounds with quite a few women. Some player guys I know will break up after 1-3 mths to then immediately pursue a new prospect, others will cultivate a new prospect while in a relationship so they can monkey branch to, and others still have past online gfs stay on as fwb while they date new women. Some of the women I know, have dropped out after one bad experience with a player (but their profile stays up and they still log in every now & then to see their msgs).

Factors that lead to an imbalance much more so with the under 45s I reckon.

 

Also having PE or not being a great lover does not stop a guy from getting dates or ending up with a woman in bed...just makes it harder for him to keep them on long term (if thats his agenda).

 

This was very astute insight, thank you!!!

 

What do you suppose stops a guy from continuing the monkey branch business, and decide to settle down with one woman?

 

And, do you believe there is a segment of the dating population that possesses some level of integrity (non-player types, both male and female) that don't do all the monkey branch stuff? Is the monkey branch thing mostly male players (of any age, but primarily 20's, I would assume)?

 

Thanks again for the great insight!!

[Forever Learning]

If he has anything going for him and is reasonably attractive, a 45-year-old man will probably not be willing to settle for a 45-year-old woman unless she really brings a lot to the table, such as exceptionally attractive looks or possibly even if she makes or has a lot of money in some cases. Otherwise, if this man has options, he'll probably go for women at least 5 years younger.

 

Well, he is 45, and the age range of women he specified on his profiles (he uses several dating sites) is age 40 to 50. He decided 5 years older or younger were his parameters. He said he didn't want to go any younger or older than 5 years either way. He said he thinks women in their 30's might not be mature enough, and women over 50 might be too old. I suppose his logic is he is trying to find someone from his generation with common interests.

 

THanks for the input!!

[Forever Learning]

So you've never been attacked by a house cat?

 

House cats are really just mini-cougars. The only difference is that Mr. Picklestein can't kill you when he gets mad.

 

 

Mr. Picklestein the cat!!! hee hee hee

 

 

SO CUTE!!!

 

You got me laughing with that one!!

 

You have a great sense of humor honey bun.

[Forever Learning]

This is a very interesting thread, Forever!

 

After watching The Science of Sex Appeal the other night, I think all of this can be attributed to a single sentence:

 

We all fundamentally try to mate with the most sexually attractive person we can.

 

Let me try to explain...first we have to start out with the assumption that men want the hottest girl they can get, both in beauty and in youth while, women want the hottest man they can get, both in terms of beauty, but instead of youth, status.

 

So we'll start with the men...they will target the youngest, most attractive women they can get...so women who are either younger or more beautiful get taken up. Meanwhile, women are targeting men with physical attractiveness and status, so older men with more established careers and all the hot guys get taken up.

 

So now I'll break down who actually gets targeted with some arbitrary age (30) for simplicity:

 

All very attractive men and women in the top 15%.

Women < 30 years old (youth)

Men > 30 years old (status)

 

So who is left that hasn't been targeted?

 

Men < 30 years old who aren't in the top 15% of attractiveness.

Women > 30 years old who aren't in the top 15% of attractiveness.

 

Remember that the age I used (30) was completely arbitrary, but I'm guessing it floats at some point between 30 and 40, where the tides turn, and dating begins to "favor" men...

 

This is very simplified and isn't absolute, but if you are a man below age X, it might seem like there aren't any single woman, while if you are a woman above age X, it might seem like there aren't any single men.

 

Well done Hokie, thanks for sharing! I can't argue this. Luckily for me, I don't believe in any tides working against me personally, due to my shining personality, positive energy, good looks, and fun vibe. Same deal for you too!! CHeers!!

[Forever Learning]

Forever Learning you rock I think you're my favorite female poster. Don't let the haters bring you down.

 

I think there a lot of lonely single people out there. They tend to be those who might not be the most attractive, however they refuse to date people on an equal level to them. Of course, this is all subjective. I have a gf now, but really it was a lucky chance we met. Before that I was unlucky completely in dating. Some people just haven't met that special one just yet. And of course this message board is just a small sample of the population and probably not the most accurate one as there tend to be a lot of bitter people here. I haven't seen many of these characters in my day to day life.

 

 

P.S: Somedude I'd do anything possible to get FL to come to you if I was you that is. Failing that she can come here to Australia

 

Oh, thank you Eclypse!! I think you are the bomb as well!! I appreciate the kind words, and I can tell you, your positive outlook and vibe will always serve you well in life. As you continue to learn throughout life about all things under the sun, you will continue to become even more attractive and desireable to women, due to the good vibes you emit, and your ever growing social skills and experiences. I really believe that about you. I have no worries about your future mate, you are a true diamond. Cheers love!!

[Forever Learning]

OK back to the topic:

given the 10 men and 10 women in the hypothesis, the 10 women will lock all potential dates out until the perfect man, who does not exist, comes along. No excuses are too ridiculous or too flimsy for the modern girl or woman. The 10 men will either be too whiny or unattractive to overcome the lockout, or will scare women with their idiotic neanderthal behavior, or fall apart at the seams at the sight of the women and run for the comfort of their online porn and Playstations.

 

PS I generally enjoy your posts, FL, except for:

so, you're looking for another abusive relationship, the kind that book glamorizes?

 

Oh heavens no, Mario, I am not looking for another dysfunctional relationship. Thank you so much for calling me out on that, my reference to '50 Shades of Grey'. Let me tell you what happened there. Like I have said before, I have knucklehead tendencies, usually on a daily basis!! LOL

 

I have NOT read that book, 50 Shades of Grey - didn't even know what it was about! I just thought since it is currently a popular book out there, I would slip a little reference to "everything is not black and white, don't forget the grey area' into what I wrote - and so I definitely should NOT have done that, without knowing what that book was about. So that was a major goof on my part. Apparently that book is about abuse, I didn't realize that when I referenced it. Sorry about that, and thanks for pointing that out ot me. What a goof I am! Thanks again Mario for setting me straight. God knows, I am no fan of abuse. I've learned my lesson, God willing and the Levy's don't break! LOL Cheers friend. :)

 

ps Or is it God willing and the creek don't rise? It's flooding down here in Texas right now, just like the Stevie Ray song. I'm stranded at my folks house due to high water. Caught a Crawfish for my kids, looks like a mini lobster, really a cute little critter. Good eatin too LOL

Edited July 12, 2012 by Forever Learning

[Forever Learning]

 

A girl I am in communication with and who seems like a great prospect knows all of my views, but I don't talk to her like I would talk to you or other "womyn". A woman whose able to resist the lies and illusions of the modern world is one I admire deeply, and will treat as a lady must be treated. However, having a pussy doesn't mean you deserve my respect, especially considering the way 99% of women behave nowadays.

 

Why is a 50 something year old divorcee telling me how to live my romantic life? I'm going to guess you got the glass house in the settlement?

 

Well Mr. Overcome I don't believe there's too much more you and I have to talk about here, other than I wish you well with the new woman you are speaking with as of late, and glad you have found someone who enjoys your company. All the best to you in life.

 

p.s. You seem to have misread, I've just turned 43, and I was recently told by a past lover that I have the body of someone in their 20's. Your math skills are lacking, I'm a far cry from 50. And, I did indeed get the house in the settlement, and that was because it was mine entirely before I ever married to begin with. And yes it's paid for, as is my car. Did that all on my own as well, through years of hard work and dedicated saving, and not the work of my ex-spouse.

 

Are you familiar with that concept in life yet, hard work, Mr. 23 year old? It's not a common concept among the whiner, couch potato, video game crowd. Cheers love!

[Forever Learning]

Around here, due to the demographics of agriculture (the predominant industry), there are and have always been more men around. Add in polyamory, discussed prior, and it's historically been exceedingly difficult to find a woman IRL, hence why I resorted to OLD and distance dating. Of my LTR's, the closest woman lived over 30 miles away; my exW lived over 60 miles away until we got married. This dynamic, along with the factors of timing and that my job isn't a 'social' job meant my choices to live where I do meant a difficult path to dating and relationships.

 

Hi Carhill! Ever heard the saying, I saved the best for last? Hence, you. Just like that Carly Simon song, Baby - You're The Best! And you are Carhill. What would we do around here without you?

 

Thank you for your take on the dynamics within the dating scene. I am sorry your dating path has been such a challenge due to the agriculture industry in your area. I can definitely see how that could indeed play a big role in the availability of women in your immediate area. I live in a major city, and I am even more thankful for that fact, after having read the struggle you have had with distance during dating. Thank you for your insightful input. You always make very astute points, that others sometimes overlook. Cheers my dearest Carhill!!

[Kofybean]

don't the women have to eventually respond to some of the men? Or else, they would be single women forever?

 

No. They don't have to do anything they don't want to do. I think that is the first mistake in your logic, that this is some sort of binary system, where if it is not 0 then it must be a 1.

 

Let's say the really good looking, tall guys making big money, get lots of women responding to them. And then the marry one of the hundred chicks who sent them an email. Where do the other 99 women go?

 

Second flaw in your logic is that you assume these women go anywhere differently. As if women are logical creatures that say "hey, that guy is married, therefore I will stop seeking his attention" when in fact many women are more attracted to a man if he is already taken.

 

A third flaw is to take a man "a really good looking, tall guy making big money" as a random example of the general population when those types of men are less that 15-10% of the population.

 

 

So, doesn't it stand to reason that there are equal amounts of single men and women out there available for dating?

Although, personally, I don't believe women have all the power in dating, I find this another gross assumption.

 

Think about this, if you had a room with 10 men and 10 women, what is a more likely senerio. Those 10 women would evenly distribute themselves among the 10 men? Or those 10 women would compete amongst themselves to get the 2 or 3 most popularly choosen men? Leaving the other 7 or 8 alone, and they themselves remain alone, frustrated that there are no more good men left to choose since the 2-3 top are taken?

 

Power, is tricky. It is like slavery.... it is a state of mind. Here is another perspective on your question... if you think that dating is automatically 50/50 based on population data, how is it possible men have all the financial and political power? Women outnumber men on a global scale, so shouldn't that mean that women should automatically have a higher distribution of the wealth and political power.

 

It doesn't work that way.

Edited July 14, 2012 by Kofybean

[Forever Learning]

Hey, WeShallOverCome, I think I was a little overboard and harsh with you. I hope you will accept my apology. Cheers.

[Forever Learning]

No. They don't have to do anything they don't want to do. I think that is the first mistake in your logic, that this is some sort of binary system, where if it is not 0 then it must be a 1.

 

 

 

Second flaw in your logic is that you assume these women go anywhere differently. As if women are logical creatures that say "hey, that guy is married, therefore I will stop seeking his attention" when in fact many women are more attracted to a man if he is already taken.

 

A third flaw is to take a man "a really good looking, tall guy making big money" as a random example of the general population when those types of men are less that 15-10% of the population.

 

 

 

Although, personally, I don't believe women have all the power in dating, I find this another gross assumption.

 

Think about this, if you had a room with 10 men and 10 women, what is a more likely senerio. Those 10 women would evenly distribute themselves among the 10 men? Or those 10 women would compete amongst themselves to get the 2 or 3 most popularly choosen men? Leaving the other 7 or 8 alone, and they themselves remain alone, frustrated that there are no more good men left to choose since the 2-3 top are taken?

 

Power, is tricky. It is like slavery.... it is a state of mind. Here is another perspective on your question... if you think that dating is automatically 50/50 based on population data, how is it possible men have all the financial and political power? Women outnumber men on a global scale, so shouldn't that mean that women should automatically have a higher distribution of the wealth and political power.

 

It doesn't work that way.

 

Oh gosh, I am so glad you threw your 2 cents in here. I was just thinking about all this again today. The numbers thing still confuses me on this issue.

 

The reason I picked tall, attractive, rich men as an example of the ideal man a woman chases, is because it's just what I gathered from what I've read around here in the dating section, from various (gripey/complainy) posts and such. I am 43 and I can tell you that I personally, don't give a d@mn about height, wealth or even attractiveness too much anymore. I really tend to like someone's personality first, and then they become attractive to me. I feel very blessed that I feel that way, I should add. It is truly a blessing, to not be motivated by money or looks.

 

If I like their personality, they become 'cute' in my eyes.

 

I was just trying to create an example, to even get my question across.

 

So help me with this, please. If the women are chasing a particular set of men, the top 20%, whoever that may be - and those guys pair off with the top 20% of women - where do the rest of the people go?

 

Do they stay single forever? Really? I am genuinely asking. I wonder if there is any research on this, done by the dating websites and whatnot.

 

Wouldn't it stand to reason that eventually, everyone gets the memo/figures out over time, about where they eventually stand in the pecking order amongst other available singles, and 'settles' (for lack of a better word) on whoever they can get that they are somewhat, somehow, in some way, satisfied with, if not ideal or perfect, at least more satisfactory than remaining single?

 

And yes, I would assume there is a segment of the population that remains single forever, and just sort of drops out of the game for a while.

 

By the way, on a different note, I can now better see the struggle that men in their 20's may be facing, in trying to get women in their 20's to date and settle down with, since it makes sense to me that men in their 30's (and even 40's to a lesser extent) may ALSO be going after the women in their 20's to some extent, and so the women in their 20's have lots of men to choose from (men in their 20's, 30's, and 40's).

 

So I do get the picture that men in their 20's have a more competitive situation in trying to get a girlfriend/wife.

 

But somehow, it seems a bit like a water analogy to me - 'self -leveling' at some point, where if someone wants a partner, they will find one somehow. Maybe the guys in their 20's who don't find a woman, tend to better land one once the guys are in their 30's and more established financially job-wise? I know some remain bachelors into 40's and beyond. I always think of George Clooney when I think of the perpetual bachelor.

 

Actually, I am most interested in how I will fare once I get out there ( I just turned 43). I am not actively doing the online dating thing because I have someone I am seeing casually at the moment who lives near me, but I had already signed up on several online dating websites and I get emails every day, today I got one from a super cute and very interesting 42 year old guy in my area. So I am very optimistic and hopeful that there are some guys out there my age that I will be interested in, once I take the plunge (if I do). Cheers and thanks for the input!

Edited July 14, 2012 by Forever Learning

[Kofybean]

Ok, so you put a lot into this one, let me see if I can break it down and give my thoughts on the matter from my point of view.

So help me with this, please. If the women are chasing a particular set of men, the top 20%, whoever that may be - and those guys pair off with the top 20% of women - where do the rest of the people go?

20%. Such an arbitrary and meaningless number. I don't buy that 20% nonsense some people throw around, but in using my example of the 10 men and 10 women, I believe you answered it. And I agree.

Wouldn't it stand to reason that eventually, everyone gets the memo/figures out over time, about where they eventually stand in the pecking order amongst other available singles, and 'settles' (for lack of a better word) on whoever they can get that they are somewhat, somehow, in some way, satisfied with, if not ideal or perfect, at least more satisfactory than remaining single?

Ok, maybe I don't agree fully with the wording, but principle yes. I think those 7 or 8 lonely men and women sulking will keep griping about their situation until they seriously reevaluate their life and their values.

If Ferarris and Lamborginhi's are the top 20% of cars based soley on speed, and assuming that everyone wants to go 200mph on the freeway, then no one would drive a mini van. I honestly don't think the mom dropping the kids off to soccor practice in a mini van was "settling" since she didn't buy the 2 seater Porche.

 

By the way, on a different note, I can now better see the struggle that men in their 20's may be facing, in trying to get women in their 20's to date and settle down with, since it makes sense to me that men in their 30's (and even 40's to a lesser extent) may ALSO be going after the women in their 20's to some extent, and so the women in their 20's have lots of men to choose from (men in their 20's, 30's, and 40's).

This is true, and I don't feel bad, it is an odd situation that never changes. I was married for most of my 20's so I never faced that rejection during that time, now that I am divorced, dating women in their 20's is easy for me, and younger guys in their 20's absolutely hate it. But dating women my age is still impossiblely insane. My goodness, its a mess. I leave them to the men who are older than me anyway, so it works out for everyone.

 

But somehow, it seems a bit like a water analogy to me - 'self -leveling' at some point, where if someone wants a partner, they will find one somehow. Maybe the guys in their 20's who don't find a woman, tend to better land one once the guys are in their 30's and more established financially job-wise? I know some remain bachelors into 40's and beyond. I always think of George Clooney when I think of the perpetual bachelor.

Umm. Well. Is finding a partner the issue, or finding a partner that fits you personally? Because I feel those are two different things.

Actually, I am most interested in how I will fare once I get out there ( I just turned 43). I am not actively doing the online dating thing because I have someone I am seeing casually at the moment who lives near me, but I had already signed up on several online dating websites and I get emails every day, today I got one from a super cute and very interesting 42 year old guy in my area. So I am very optimistic and hopeful that there are some guys out there my age that I will be interested in, once I take the plunge (if I do). Cheers and thanks for the input!

Happy belated birthday. I find that people tend to find the right person for them when they aren't out there looking. Because they are more realistic with the type of person that fits them, rather then looking through resumes and comparing them to each other. It is a huge difference when you compare one man to the next trying to select who is better, than comparing a man to your self and seeing who fits.

 

Understand, that's what hurts men's feelings the most. In dating, Women give no indication she is looking at him and seeing how they compare to each other, but women give the indication that she is looking at him and seeing how he compares to other men.

 

In the car example, if all you did was compare which car out performs the next, you end up investing a lot of money in a car that does not even suit you. If you humanize that example, you end up investing a lot of time in a miserable relationship until they are honest with what they need in their own life

[Forever Learning]

I find that people tend to find the right person for them when they aren't out there looking. Because they are more realistic with the type of person that fits them, rather then looking through resumes and comparing them to each other. It is a huge difference when you compare one man to the next trying to select who is better, than comparing a man to your self and seeing who fits.

 

Understand, that's what hurts men's feelings the most. In dating, Women give no indication she is looking at him and seeing how they compare to each other, but women give the indication that she is looking at him and seeing how he compares to other men.

 

In the car example, if all you did was compare which car out performs the next, you end up investing a lot of money in a car that does not even suit you. If you humanize that example, you end up investing a lot of time in a miserable relationship until they are honest with what they need in their own life

 

Wow, that was awesome!!! Thank you!!! This is really great perspective from a man. That is a treasure trove of info right there, thank you for enlightening me. Good stuff, I love it.