Dating: Supply Of Men Vs. Supply Of Women

[WonderKid]

^^^ Got a point. Once you're established you will have options and power yourself. But if you aren't then you might not have luck. A woman doesn't have to be established to get a date necessarily.

[Bristolius]

Humans have evolved thinking processes.

 

Women are pickier about mate selection than men are. Women who chose better providers passed on their pickiness. Women who chose bad mates did not survive pregnancy.

 

Men have a more urgent need for sex than women. Their ancestors passed it on because their urgent need influenced their behavior and they got laid. Their more laid back neighbor died before he got around to finding a woman to have sex with and his relaxed attitude to sex died out with him.

 

 

Women are pickier than men. Men are hornier than women.

 

Hopefully that will offend everyone.

[DjinnAgain]

Even without good looks and money it holds true although to a lesser degree. The vast majority of people agree that, generally, men age more gracefully.

 

I am not so sure it is men aging more gracefully as the standards and the obsessive pursuit of youth being more unkind to women - societal expectations.

And I say this as someone who has typically dated older men.

[Forever Learning]

Humans have evolved thinking processes.

 

Women are pickier about mate selection than men are. Women who chose better providers passed on their pickiness. Women who chose bad mates did not survive pregnancy.

 

Men have a more urgent need for sex than women. Their ancestors passed it on because their urgent need influenced their behavior and they got laid. Their more laid back neighbor died before he got around to finding a woman to have sex with and his relaxed attitude to sex died out with him.

 

 

Women are pickier than men. Men are hornier than women.

 

Hopefully that will offend everyone.

 

That was really interesting! I enjoyed reading that. I like those type of theories. Not sure I entirely believe it, but it is fun to ponder.

 

I read a scientific article about Premature Ejaculation. My ex-husband is a Premature Ejaculator, we were married 16 years, he never conquered it. The article I read said that roughly 40% of men have this continuing problem, and that it could be genetic.

 

They theorized that the caveman who came the fastest before the saber tooth tiger ate him, was more likely to impregnate the cavewoman and pass on his genes to the next generation. That was an interestng theory to me, don't know how true it may or may not be, but there is a dynamic within the brain regarding seratonin and a male's threshhold of ejaculation control, so it could very well have a genetic component in that regard.

 

Theories are always interesting. Especially conspiracy theories!

[Forever Learning]

^^^ Got a point. Once you're established you will have options and power yourself. But if you aren't then you might not have luck. A woman doesn't have to be established to get a date necessarily.

 

Yes, a woman doesn't have to be established to get a date (or get laid). In many cases she only needs a pulse and a working vagina.

 

But what does she have to be, or have, to be in a long term, committed relationship with a man? What does she need to have, or to be, to be relationship worthy?

 

Well, I'd reckon that varies from man to man. Some men want a woman as a trophy, to elevate their status. Those men tend to place emphasis on physical beauty in a woman. Some men want a woman who can pay some of the bills, a worker. I've seen many of those type relationships. Some men want a little of both of those aforementioned qualities. Some men truly fall in love and want a responsible, caring, committed companion. Some men just really want a woman as a sexual outlet and to have kids with. What did I leave out here? Probably alot of other scenarios. And yes of course it goes both ways, with women choosing men for some of those reasons as well.

[Woggle]

Both genders think the other one has it easier.

[Forever Learning]

This evolutionary biology stuff is modern bunk, essentially the tabloid version of science and biology.

 

If you ever been to other countries, the men are horny scoundrals just like in America, but nowhere near as desperate. The condition men live through in Anglo countries like USA, Australia and England are completely man-made.

 

I'd love to see a woman in Roman times refuse to marry a man because of his height or because he's bald The fact that women are picky today says nothing about evolution, considering the fact that women never really had a choice in mates until now.

 

That really is an interesting outlook, I never thought about it too much. I believe you are right. Women never had choices in their mates before. They still don't have choices in many parts of the world (dare I say, most parts of the world? I think I could safely say that. In Saudi Arabia, they are now micro chipping women so they can't leave the country. When they go to the airport, the microchip is activated, and a message is sent to their male guardian of record).

 

You know you make an excellent point about women now having choices in mates, and how it is probably much more difficult for men as a result.

 

I am very glad to be a woman in the USA, and born in this day and age. Had I been forced to stay in my 16 year marriage (that I am recently divorced from), I would have likely killed myself from the mental agony of the situation. I am truly grateful for the day and age I am living in, along with the part of the world I live in. Excellent point you made! Thanks for reminding me of the blessings I have as a female in the USA in this day and age. I mean that!

[WonderKid]

Yes, a woman doesn't have to be established to get a date (or get laid). In many cases she only needs a pulse and a working vagina.

 

But what does she have to be, or have, to be in a long term, committed relationship with a man? What does she need to have, or to be, to be relationship worthy?

 

Well, I'd reckon that varies from man to man. Some men want a woman as a trophy, to elevate their status. Those men tend to place emphasis on physical beauty in a woman. Some men want a woman who can pay some of the bills, a worker. I've seen many of those type relationships. Some men want a little of both of those aforementioned qualities. Some men truly fall in love and want a responsible, caring, committed companion. Some men just really want a woman as a sexual outlet and to have kids with. What did I leave out here? Probably alot of other scenarios. And yes of course it goes both ways, with women choosing men for some of those reasons as well.

 

 

Yeah I guess you can say that. If a woman is established she's not going for a guy who isn't. He can look great but if his career doesn't match to hers I think it's a no-go. She'd want someone like her. If a man is, you're right, he'll go for a beautiful woman. She could be working at a low-class job, but he'll take her as a trophy. It's common among older men. Women won't do that really, because they'd feel like the man wants them as a 'sugar mom'. Lol

 

I think in most cases, couples who work together on bills and things seem to last longer.

 

I can't pinpoint what a woman has to be for a relationship without being opinionated about it I think.

 

But if a woman is established, she chooses up. If a guy is established, he'll choose whatever--and for purposes you just stated.

 

But it reminds me of a quote I once heard. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything and a woman's loyalty is tested when he has nothing.

[Forever Learning]

Both genders think the other one has it easier.

 

Yes, that is often true. No doubt. It's hard to put yourself in other's peoples shoes, it just is.

 

But not impossible.

 

What is also interesting is I can see why some guys have trouble dating women, and vice versa. In both sides of the equation, attitude is everything. It truly is. A negative, sour, dour, hateful, bitter attitude is so unattractive and a powerful repellant. Some folks try to hide it, but it becomes apparent over time, whether they realize it or not.

 

Cheers Woggle!

 

p.s. I love the name Woggle. It reminds me of the toy from my youth, "Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down". That might have been a British toy, I can't recall. I was living in Britain at the time.

 

Cheers again!

[WonderKid]

That really is an interesting outlook, I never thought about it too much. I believe you are right. Women never had choices in their mates before. They still don't have choices in many parts of the world (dare I say, most parts of the world? I think I could safely say that. In Saudi Arabia, they are now micro chipping women so they can't leave the country. When they go to the airport, the microchip is activated, and a message is sent to their male guardian of record).

 

You know you make an excellent point about women now having choices in mates, and how it is probably much more difficult for men as a result.

 

I am very glad to be a woman in the USA, and born in this day and age. Had I been forced to stay in my 16 year marriage (that I am recently divorced from), I would have likely killed myself from the mental agony of the situation. I am truly grateful for the day and age I am living in, along with the part of the world I live in. Excellent point you made! Thanks for reminding me of the blessings I have as a female in the USA in this day and age. I mean that!

 

Its crazy because in Middle Eastern countries, women get KILLED if they cheat on their man. But men can sleep with many women. Pffft!

 

If I was a woman over there I'd be on the most wanted list. Because I'd screw who I want, when I want. It's terrible how they treat women over there really. It would drive me up a wall.

[Forever Learning]

Yeah I guess you can say that. If a woman is established she's not going for a guy who isn't. He can look great but if his career doesn't match to hers I think it's a no-go. She'd want someone like her. If a man is, you're right, he'll go for a beautiful woman. She could be working at a low-class job, but he'll take her as a trophy. It's common among older men. Women won't do that really, because they'd feel like the man wants them as a 'sugar mom'. Lol

 

I think in most cases, couples who work together on bills and things seem to last longer.

 

I can't pinpoint what a woman has to be for a relationship without being opinionated about it I think.

 

But if a woman is established, she chooses up. If a guy is established, he'll choose whatever--and for purposes you just stated.

 

But it reminds me of a quote I once heard. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything and a woman's loyalty is tested when he has nothing.

 

You wrote some wonderful insightful things here, thanks for sharing.

 

And WOW!!! I love that quote!! AWESOME!! Thank you for including that.

 

I was such a loyal one. I stuck with him through $20,000 in back child support, alcoholism, drug addiction, bar fights, multiple speeding tickets, 16 years of premature ejaculation, Gaslighting out the wazoo, DUI's, prison time, multiple car wrecks, failed small business endeavors, motorcycle wrecks, lawsuits galore, joblessness, and severe mental abuse. I know I forgot a bunch too. That's because I have a touch of PTSD and memory loss. No biggie though, it's all good.

 

Eventually, my loyalty ran out and divorce set me free.

 

Go me!!

 

And that's when my life really began!! Divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me. Even if I spent the rest of my life alone, it would be so much better than what it was. Which is super cool for me. But I do still hope to find that special someone, to make it even better. A companion with honesty, integrity, kindness and compassion. Looks and wealth don't mean much to me.

 

Cheers my friend! Thank you again for sharing that wonderful, and very applicable to my life, quote with me.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Forever Learning

[Woggle]

A woman's loyalty is tested when she doesn't need a man financially. That is when you see her true colors.

[WonderKid]

You wrote some wonderful insightful things here, thanks for sharing.

 

And WOW!!! I love that quote!! AWESOME!! Thank you for including that.

 

I was such a loyal one. I stuck with him through $20,000 in back child support, alcoholism, drug addiction, bar fights, multiple speeding tickets, 16 years of premature ejaculation, Gaslighting out the wazoo, DUI's, prison time, multiple car wrecks, failed small business endeavors, motorcycle wrecks, lawsuits galore, joblessness, and severe mental abuse. I know I forgot a bunch too. That's because I have a touch of PTSD and memory loss. No biggie though, it's all good.

 

Eventually, my loyalty ran out and divorce set me free.

 

Go me!!

 

And that's when my life really began!! Divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me. Even if I spent the rest of my life alone, it would be so much better than what it was. Which is super cool for me. But I do still hope to find that special someone, to make it even better. A companion with honesty, integrity, kindness and compassion. Looks and wealth don't mean much to me.

 

Cheers my friend! Thank you again for sharing that wonderful, and very applicable to my life, quote with me.

 

 

Your loyalty was tested and you passed. Its just...what's more can you do? Lol

 

You did your best it's all you could do. *shrugs*

 

No problem and your welcome

[Forever Learning]

 

If he's slamming other women after you, with no problem, have you ever consider that your sexual skills are lacking? I know it's easier to just place the blame on guys (it's hip and trendy), but maybe sometimes gals should look in the mirror for when things do work out.

 

 

I get your point. You are jumping to the conclusion that I am placing all the blame on him for our sexual incompatibility. Not so. But I do understand that your experience may be as such that you would think I may have a problem in acknowledging my own shortcomings. I can assure you, that is not the case regarding this particular issue. He is not slamming lots of women. From what I have heard, they aren't calling back after the initial sexual encounter. Some may give him a mercy 2nd chance. Other than that, they seem to figure out that he is lacking in skill due to his overwhelming issue with Premature Ejaculation.

 

I am a gal who will look in the mirror. Just saying, for the sake of discussion on this particular issue. He possessed the problem regarding this issue. It's all good though because that's entirely his problem now, and not mine. Praise Jesus on that one! I did 16 years hard time with him and that issue. Free at last, free at last. I made it to the mountain top. Cheers love!

[Forever Learning]

The OP is confused. Yes, there are pretty much the same # of women and men.

 

But all that matter is the ratios for the relevant dating ages. Men die sooner than women(simply put, because men work harder and have bigger burden's in life). Because of this fact, there are many more older women than older men.

 

But in dating age groups, men far outnumber women and there are simply not enough women to go around. But allow me to take it a step further. Almost half of women are overwieght/obese, so that cuts down the number of desirable single ladies even further.

 

The ratios favor women, and they have all of the advantage. Period

 

Ok, now this is interesting. This is getting to the heart of the matter that was my original question regarding dating.

 

Yes, I understand that as men and women get older, men die sooner. So perhaps, in their 60's and beyond, there could be a significantly greater number of single old women than single old men.

 

Even so, I imagine that many of those women would choose to remain single, for various reasons, including lack of sex drive, having gone through menopause, being set financially from their deceased spouses pensions/ 401K's, determination not to remarry (my grandmother would never remarry, some women think this way, they never remarry). So perhaps, there are still many single men to choose from, for the older single women. I don't know for sure. But that is actually neither here not there for the sake of this discussion.

 

My question is, you stated this:

 

But in dating age groups, men far outnumber women and there are simply not enough women to go around.

Ok, why is this true? How is this true? In the 35 to 50 year old age bracket, for instance. How is there more men than women? Where did the women go? Thats what I want to know. Where do you think the women went, that they are out of dating circulation? For what reason? More women just sit back and stay single? Live with their parents? I have cousins of both sexes at this age who lived with their parents, and remained single. Not just the female cousins, males too. So, why more men in the dating pools, than women?

OK, then you said:

But allow me to take it a step further. Almost half of women are overwieght/obese, so that cuts down the number of desirable single ladies even further.

Now, this I can kind of understand. The women who are in shape, have a leg up on the women who are obese. Men are visual creatures, and I do get this as a very valid point.

 

Although I think there is a shift going on in our culture, where obesity is just becoming accepted, and many single men are more willing to date an overweight woman. Just a feeling I have. (So many women seem to have multiple tattoos nowadays as well, as a sidenote regarding Western culture transformations as of late. I am still shocked by this phenomenon, I don't have any tattoos nor am I overweight).

 

But, to each his own.

 

Cheers friends!

[Forever Learning]

People have as much power as they are able to grant themselves in my opinion. There is no one gender who holds power over either. I would argue that conventionally unattractive girls have problems on OLD - albeit perhaps not as much as men do. Either way, I prefer to think of it as abundance mentality versus scarcity mentality (expecting Hokie to wade his way in here soon )........

 

A lot of men have scarcity mentality, they think that either there are not enough women out there for them, that they cannot get any kind of woman and latch onto the first woman who shows them any interest, or that women hold all the power, or any other theory that limits them.

 

I lean towards abundance, there are millions of different girls out there in my city alone. All individual. Why should I believe I cannot attract them, either now or in the near future?

 

It will take a huge shift for some.

 

Oh and by the way, a man can improve his physical attractiveness vastly. As can a woman.

 

I meant to tell you, ThaWhooligan, how much I enjoyed reading your thoughts on scarcity versus abundance. You are right on target.

 

Your positive attitude is so refreshing. You are an amazing man, my friend! I have no worries for you in life. Cheers love.

[El Brujo]

A woman's loyalty is tested when she doesn't need a man financially. That is when you see her true colors.

 

...and that's why more and more women are being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. It's about power, power, power!!!

[Forever Learning]

My paint skills fail me so I'll just explain.

 

Also im 32. When women become legal ( whatever age that may be for your area ) they are supremely desirable to men. Over time this steadily declines before eventually entering a freefall. Men, on the other hand, increase in desirability over time as their careers begin to take off and their income rises with every passing year.

 

A young, attractive women can have her pick of men. Now a medium income 45 year old man can't get these girls and hence they must settle for women their own age. The only recourse a 45 year old woman has is to cougar up or to date men her own age ( men who can't afford better ).

 

In essence men age like wine while women spoil like milk.

 

You made broad generalizations here, and I feel you likely believe your statements to be true.

 

But for anyone else whose eyeballs are reading this statement you made above, I can tell them it is patently wrong.

 

It is a bitter statement made by a frustrated man. I don't know the details nor sources of your frustrations, but I do know that this attitude you carry is likely a self-fulfilling prophecy and a theme of continued frustration in your life. I also know this statement I have just made about you will irritate you to no end. And I am sorry for that, because that is not my intent. I am only stating what I see as the obvious within your spirit and the essence of you. And I see bitterness. That is not easily changed within oneself, but it can be done. I wish you well on that endeavor. Good luck and all the best to you in your journey.

[Woggle]

...and that's why more and more women are being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. It's about power, power, power!!!

 

I don't know about that but it really does show where a woman's heart is at.

[FitChick]

The vast majority of people agree that, generally, men age more gracefully.

 

Perhaps if you define grace as waddling down the street sporting a pot belly and more hair on the back and in the ears than on the head.

[somedude81]

How did I miss this thread till now?

have always wondered this. This really confuses me. Somebody please enlighten me on this.

 

In the USA, there is roughly the same number of men and women (am I right on that much?).

 

So it would seem to me, that the number of men seeking women, and the number of women seeking men, would be roughly the same amount of people (roughly - I mean, 50 / 50, not like 20 / 80 ).

 

If that is the case (if there is pretty much the same number of single men out there as there are single women) - aren't the odds of finding a mate the same for both sexes?

It really does seem that things should be equal. But for some reason they aren't.

 

Here's an example. I work at a retail store that has about an even mix of men and women. From what I've seen, most of the women have boyfriends and most of the guys are single.

 

It's almost been the same at my school, I keep running into girls that have boyfriends and guys that are single.

 

Though another group that seems to be pretty common, are women that want to be single. These women effectively take themselves out of the dating pool leaving an excess of men who are single and looking. That isn't something that men do.

 

Another problem is overweight women. While heavy women can get partners, those women are not as in demand as slimmer women are.

 

Here's a rough example of what I think is happening.

 

10 men and 10 women

 

2 women have no interest in dating for whatever reason

3 women are obese and the men have no interest in them

5 women are left that all 10 men will pursue

 

Of course it's more complicated then that, but it's just a simple basic example.

 

 

 

 

For example, is it true then, than folks in their 40's are fairly equally balanced in power on the dating scene? They don't have the trouble that the guys in their 20's have, finding women?

 

Or will women in their 40's have a difficult time finding dating partners?

The big problem that men in their 20's and early 30's have, is what kind of men that women in their 20's and early 30's actually want. For some reason, they want guys like this who will most likely end up being terrible boyfriends and almost guaranteed to cheat, simply because many girls will want them.

 

Which basically leaves a ton of other guys that young women aren't into at all, and they will be ignored.

 

It's not until they get older that women realize that guys like this would actually be the better choice.

 

It basically means that dating is really hard for a large number of young guys while the young girls are either all sharing a small number of guys, or they simply take themselves out of the game.

[Forever Learning]

Did you just make this up? Micro chips in women?

 

 

No, I didn't make that up. I wish I could tell you where I read it recently, but I don't recall. However, I did not make this up.

 

Why would you ask me if I made it up? Do you find it hard to believe?

 

Unfortunately, due to the rampant human rights violations in Saudia Arabia, it is not only very possible, and also entirely legal there and fits in with the mentality of women's roles in that country. I am surprised you are in doubt that this could be possible.

 

Perhaps you don't know much about human rights in Saudia Arabia. There are almost no rights for women, they are property, not humans. I find that disgraceful, disturbing, sad, and evil. Many people feel that way as well, about Saudia Arabia.

 

You have asked me this question in a tone in which I interpret as argumentive in nature.

 

Did you mean to sound argumentative? Speaking of chips, do you have a chip on your shoulder for some reason? What is that reason? I would be curious. You sound frustrated, but why? You are frustrated with women and dating, no? Are you overweight?

 

I ask this because, I am forming a mental picture of you, and that is the image I am forming. A frustrated young man who is not in top physical shape, who is having difficulty finding a girlfriend. Am I correct?

 

If so, do you realize, you can change things about yourself, physically and in ways to interact with people, to vastly improve your abilities to attract a woman? You say that women vomit at men who are 5'8". I am 5'8", and I married a man who is 5'8". Not all women vomit at a man who is 5'8".

 

The man I have a crush on now is also close to that height. Don't convince yourself that your height is the reason women reject you. It's not.

 

You must look further at yourself to assess what other qualities and features you have that are not working to your benefit regarding dating, both physically and personality wise (including attitude). Good luck and all the best to you.

[Woggle]

Most people in general don't age well but both genders will swear the other one ages better.

[Forever Learning]

...and that's why more and more women are being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. It's about power, power, power!!!

 

I can't speak for all women, but power means nothing to me.

 

If I were to speak for many women, I would think it would be a safe bet for me to say, power probably doesn't mean alot to a large majority of women. Many women want security, love, affection, happiness, peacefulness, and to be cherished and loved.

 

Now, there are some women who want power. I can think of several working women I have known who thrived on power.

 

But I can think of many men who enjoyed and sought out power as well.

 

A large number of men seek admiration and respect. Sometimes, attaining a position of power, fulfills this need in men.

 

These principles are outlined further in the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, should anyone be interested in further reading on the subject. His book is the definitive study on the fundamental differences in basic desires within each gender.

 

Cheers El Brujo!

 

p.s. Blue really is your color love.

[Forever Learning]

Most people in general don't age well but both genders will swear the other one ages better.

 

I was going to say something about Cher aging well, and then I came up with something even better.

 

If Chastity Bono ages well, what will people say?

 

Hardy har har