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Getting married in 10 days - fiance caught trying to hook up with a guy. Story inside

justletting

By justletting
in Infidelity

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2long Established Member

2long

Posted
Posted
let her think wedding is still on, and on that day hop on a plane for a 2 week vacation

 

start planning now!

 

I was going 2 suggest something similar, only I'd add: change your name, move, and consider getting in2 a witness protection program so she never finds you!

 

Run screaming from the room, in other words.

 

-ol' 2long

2long Established Member

2long

Posted
Posted
Really - like if they ask "Is there anyone who knows why this man and this woman should not be joined..."

 

Groom: "Well, now that you mention it..."

 

-ol' 2long

  • Like 1
Ninja'sHusband Established Member

Ninja'sHusband

Posted
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Yeah, the pressure is probably immense and you love this woman...

 

He probably will go ahead with the wedding just because its such a hard thing to call off =(

 

But man please don't end up in my shoes. 14 years of marriage with a 9 year old daughter ending in divorce because of her infidelity. My warning signs were MUCH more subtle than yours...if there were any at all.

 

It might feel like a giant mess right now, but please don't have children with this woman. Does she work? Do you? If you end up supporting her, imagine having to pay her alimony+child support for years because she ended up being unfaithful.

Sal Paradise Established Member

Sal Paradise

Posted
Posted

If you marry her in 2 years when you found out she screwed some guy you will realize what a moron you were for not seeing the writing on the wall. Consider yourself lucky that you found out now when you can still call the wedding off. Most guys/girls wouldn't find out until after the deed was done. Back out now while you still can. Divorce and alimony are expensive. Back out before you procreate and have another expense. Back out before she destroys your soul.

  • Like 1
dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted

 

dreamingoftigers, in our law system we have this option where if the wedding is called off on account of infidelity by one of the partners, the BS can sue for damages. :p

 

That is if the wedding is called off, not if he simply no-shows and tries to disappear for a couple of weeks.

 

He could get dinged for a lot of time effort and energy wasted.

lordmayhem Member

lordmayhem

Posted
Posted

This is a no brainer. Cancelling a wedding is still far cheaper than having to go through a divorce a few years later and having child support and possibly spousal support for many years.

Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted
That is if the wedding is called off, not if he simply no-shows and tries to disappear for a couple of weeks.

 

He could get dinged for a lot of time effort and energy wasted.

 

Yup, the hop on plane or saying she cheated during the wedding is a very nice fantasy, but in the real world it will hurt him badly.

 

Just cancel it and hold onto the proof.

GLDheart Established Member

GLDheart

Posted
Posted
... imagine having to pay her alimony+child support for years because she ended up being unfaithful.

 

...Back out before she destroys your soul.

 

 

To the OP: Give those two quotes alot of thought. There are many of us men on this board now cutting a weekly pay check to our unfaithful liars... We do this as we fight the courts for a tiny fraction of time to see our children.

 

Your "soon to be EX" will laugh all the way to the bank as she uses your money to pay the bills of her and her new boyfriend.

 

But don't worry... YOU CAN ALWAYS WORK EXTRA HOURS. You will give up your freetime and personal life just to make ends meet. AND the extra acid to your soul: When she finds out you make more, she will drag you back into court for a bigger slice of pie.

 

If you think I'm being dramatic, You are Naive.

  • Like 3
Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
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... which will also cost you in lawyer's fees.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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He'll end up marrying the skank.:laugh:

seibert253 Established Member

seibert253

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He'll end up marrying the skank.:laugh:

 

Since the OP has apparently left the building, this is what I'm thinking.

  • Like 1
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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He'll get back with us after the honeymoon....

BetrayedH Established Member

BetrayedH

Posted
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And cue William closing the thread...

96nole Established Member

96nole

Posted
Posted
To the OP: Give those two quotes alot of thought. There are many of us men on this board now cutting a weekly pay check to our unfaithful liars... We do this as we fight the courts for a tiny fraction of time to see our children.

 

Your "soon to be EX" will laugh all the way to the bank as she uses your money to pay the bills of her and her new boyfriend.

 

But don't worry... YOU CAN ALWAYS WORK EXTRA HOURS. You will give up your freetime and personal life just to make ends meet. AND the extra acid to your soul: When she finds out you make more, she will drag you back into court for a bigger slice of pie.

 

If you think I'm being dramatic, You are Naive.

 

OMFG! After reading this post I am SOOOOOOOOO glad I never had kids with that whore ex of mine.

 

About 10 years ago I was golfing with my step father. He miss hit a ball out of a green side bunker that hit me square in the "family jewels". After laying on the ground for the next 15-20 minutes I got back up, finished the round of golf and went home to ice myself. Both "jewels were still there and there didn't seem to be any lasting problems. The ex never got pregnant and I used to joke that it must have been because of the golf ball. If it truly is because of that "one in a million" miss hit, I'm going to give my step dad a big hug the next time I see him.

  • Like 1
Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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Posted (edited)
If it truly is because of that "one in a million" miss hit, I'm going to give my step dad a big hug the next time I see him.

 

He might have also robbed you of the joy of being a father and fatherhood.. ex or not..

If you had a child with your ex you would still be a father and would still have all those same joys of fatherhood.

 

Just saying....

 

As to the OP...

Do you really need people on an internet forum to tell you what is obvious even to you ?

Cancel the engagement and don't speak to her again.

Edited by Art_Critic
  • Like 1
96nole Established Member

96nole

Posted
Posted
He might have also robbed you of the joy of being a father and fatherhood.. ex or not..

If you had a child with your ex you would still be a father and would still have all those same joys of fatherhood.

 

There is also adoption. Which I brought up with the ex, but she didn't want any part of it. So I don't feel robbed by him.

JustJoe Established Member

JustJoe

Posted
Posted
Your fiance is a person who compartmentalizes things that should NOT be separated -- an intimate, faithful relationship with you (indicated by your upcoming marriage) she can apparently keep separated from her attempts at running after an unavailable guy -- her texting him a hundred times in one day (!) and sending a nude photo of herself and trying to lure him over to sex him just days before her wedding.

 

Why are you apparently 'okay' with this? Why do you seem to be more concerned at your lessor 'crime' of checking up on her activities?! You appear to be missing the point here -- your wife to be is incapable of being faithful to you, she does not wish to be truthful to you, and she is actively trying to get him to fkck her! And you are worried about her yelling at you for reading her phone messages behind her back?!

 

Who the hell cares what she thinks of your investigating? So what if she is annoyed that you found out she is lying to you and untrustworthy? That is not the point. The point is that you should see all this as big red flags waving you down, stopping you from making her your wife.

 

It's okay, don't punish her -- just tell her kindly she is not who you thought she was, that you are not as liberal as she is sexually, and you don't want her. Tell her goodbye and goodluck and be absolutely clear you don't want her back under any circumstances (no matter how much she tries to convince you that she didn't actually do anything bad).... eventually she will get over you and find someone else like her, or someone else who will tolerate her, or will not know about her. Be glad you found out now, not later.

 

Call off the wedding -- simply tell people that you both have 'cold feet' for now and need more time and you will let them know. Then privately, to close family and friends, you tell them the real reason. Who cares what the rest of the guests think... let them fill in the blanks.

 

You asked for advice on how to confront her? Tell her simply, I'm sorry honey but I'm calling off the wedding because I have realized how different you are and whereas I though you were capable of honesty and faithfulness, I found out you are not. So, goodbye, and good luck. No need to be mean to her. She's just different to you. Go find someone who you can trust.

BTW, Athena, Uncle Jack asked about you a while back.
  • 2 weeks later...
SoMovinOn Established Member

SoMovinOn

Posted
Posted

You can either cancel the wedding now, get your ring back, and walk away, or ... you can go ahead and start a thread in the infidelity section titled "My wife cheated on me on our wedding night"

 

Walk away. You won't regret it.

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