confusedmama Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Hi, I've been with my hubby for 5 years. The first couple years were great- then I got pregnant and ever since our daughter has been born he has been unable to deal with the fact that he is no longer the center of my attentions- and she is 2. I also have a 7 year old, and it's been really hard feeling like I'm a parent to 3 kids and not 2. He's not a bad guy, but he has never had to grow up and be an adult- he lived with his parents until he met me, and I have always carried the majority of the resposibility in the relationship. He's afraid to move or leave and try to better our lives, because he's always worked in his family and always had Mommy n Daddy there to bail him out of trouble. He's also extremely over protective. It's ok if he talks to my g/f's and flirts a little, but he had a fit when I was just bs'n with some male co-workers at a employee party- and thats no fair. I used to have almost all guy friends, and now I'm only allowed to even talk to a guy if he knows him and 'approves'. And it doesn't help that my in-laws can't stand me, and not once has he ever defended me when they've talked about me. Any time we have any kind of conflict, I've just started ignoring it, because if I try to confront him or talk to him about it, he acts like a child and pouts and does the silent treatment, which doesn't fix anything. The biggest reason I'm worried about even trying a separation to see if he can grow up, is that my family and most my friends are under the impression that he's 'perfect'. And his family already hates me, and since I live in a very small town, I'm not sure if I can deal with the repercussions if I actually leave. It's very frustrating when theres so many reasons I want to leave, and many of them are little, but I know almost no one around me will understand and I would have no support system. I want to leave, but I'm really freaked out about doing so- esp since right now I don't even have a car, because his parents own all the vehicles we drive. I'm thinking about just starting a savings account n saving up so I can get my own car and have money to leave, but I don't know how I'd even breach the topic with him, because he's also a very depressed type, and I know he wont take it well. Any advice would be great, but I really just needed to vent to ppl who weren't going to judge me.
wheream_i Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 it's been really hard feeling like I'm a parent to 3 kids and not 2. He's not a bad guy, but he has never had to grow up and be an adult- he lived with his parents until he met me, and I have always carried the majority of the resposibility in the relationship. He's afraid to move or leave and try to better our lives, because he's always worked in his family and always had Mommy n Daddy there to bail him out of trouble. Okay, ya see here? Most women, if you ask them what the number #1 reason they would avoid dating a man, it's usually that they still live at home. Yet, you decided to marry him. Now, you're complaining about it and considering divorce because of it.
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