tidal Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Last year, I dated a guy for six months. It started out casual but soon became intense, he said he loved me, we saw each other several times a week, etc. Then one night when we were out with friends, he said that he stopped caring about me and didn't want us to sleep together anymore. But (of course) he still wanted to be friends. It hurt, but I got over it okay. We would still hang out and it was fine, fun, different of course, but still good. Unfortunately around the same time (and probably part of why he ended things), I moved to a new apt with new roommates and hated it. I had a horrible job that I hated too. I started spiraling into deep depression and the break-up did not help. He was a good friend and we both related to each other with a lot of emotional issues in general. I was counting on him to be there for me during this time. In my severe depression, I stopped being myself. I texted him a lot, looking for validation of any kind. I was always inviting him to do things, thinking that if I could just talk to him about what I was going through, I would immediately feel better. I didn't want us to get back together romantically, I just wanted someone to talk to. He moved on and started dating again, which was fine - I was not jealous about that - but it meant he wasn't around as much. And then he started completely ignoring me altogether. As I was losing my mind, I probably came off a bit aggressive. I don't blame him for ignoring me, I'm sure I was being annoying. But, unfortunately, in my diseased brain, it just made me text him more. I neeeded him to like me (just as friends). I neeeded his validation. It is strange to think about that now but it felt very serious then. I ended up getting a new job and apartment and was feeling a bit better about things. Since I had realized he was purposely ignoring me (and I was starting to get my normal brain back), I took the hint and let off. But I was still bummed about it. I ran into him at lunch four months ago (we work near each other) and I straight up asked him if we weren't friends anymore. He said that I made him feel really uncomfortable. I understood but it hurt a lot when he said that. Losing him as a friend hurt more than most of my break-ups. But I truly did understand and respect his feelings so I cut all ties with him and have been NC since this interaction. My question: Is there any hope that we will have a friendship again? Is there any point (1 year, 5 years) down the road when I should reach out to him in friendship? Or should I keep up NC forever and let him come around, if he chooses to?
Gulf-Delta Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 You can reach out sometime, but it has to be long from now when you can accept JUST friendship, and not expect anything more.
Recommended Posts