revenant Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 A while ago but I would like to understand what happened. Had a friend in high school he was a bit odd, never attracted to him in anyway but we became quite close friends and shared a sense of humour. He was full of himself 'the devil is my *****' and all that, he thought everybody loved him. But we still had a good time. Knew him bout 4 years and along the line he starts lying all over me and snuggling up when we sat next to each other. I was like 'yeeah you know i'm not really a touchy feely person', but he would just say, 'its ok! we're close enough friends to do this!'... He swears he was never attracted to me. So I avoided those situations as best I could and tried to see him less, then suddenly he calls me one day and wants to meet up 'we need to talk'. Well ok, but I don't have long that day but i'll come meet you. So met up, and he told me basically he wanted to go out for the day so we could have a long chat about all of my faults, all the things i'd been doing wrong and how he felt let down by me. I was a bit stumped frankly and luckily had to leave and just ignored him since. Can anyone give opinion on this? Is that a normal friend relationship? I don't have many close friends.
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I suspect that he saw your relationship as something more than it was. Whether or not that involved romantic attraction, it's difficult to tell. However, he obviously thought that he was at liberty to "be honest" with you. In his mind, he might even have thought that he was doing you a favour by telling you things about yourself that no one in their right mind would say, if they had any tact and idea of proper social etiquette. The reality might be that his behaviour has nothing to do with you at all and it's all about him. Indeed, he may have done this with a number of people and not just you. I think that what you need to take from this is that this man is not your friend. Unless you get something productive out of your relationship with him and his brand of "honesty," then I agree with continuing to ignore him. I'd rather have no friends than be around people who make me uncomfortable. Sitting in discomfort is not my idea of friendship. Friendship is chosen and not mandatory. If he were more kind in his criticism, I'd suggest that his honesty may be acceptable depending on your individual comfort level. However, cruel criticism without filters is not the healthy behaviour of a friend. 1
Recommended Posts