sunshineanderson Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 I am attracted to a man whom I believe is attracted to me as well. He's not married, but he has a girlfriend, and a young daughter. His girlfriend has an older daughter whom I believe is from another relationship. I am divorced with two children, but the very little I know about this man is quite attractive to me. I have no history of dealing with married men, or even men with girlfriends for that matter. Should I pursue a relationship if the situation presents itself, or should I walk away now? I know this man from church, and our contact is limited, but I think about him often and I can tell that the way he looks at me and speaks to me he may be interested in me. He's always respectful though, never sexual or crude. Should I just hope he never marries this girl or that they break up, and then try to pursue it if i'm still available, or should I just put him out of my mind altogether?
yes Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Hmm... I've never been in a similar situation, but for me, a lot would depend on how long they've been together. If it's a fresh r/s, i prolly wdn't feel too bad stealing him away from her (but i wdn't ask him out, only give him room to ask me out). If they've been together for years and it's a tight r/s, i'd simply stay away - i'd feel too guilty stealing a steady man from another woman. But again, never been in your shoes - just imagining here. But, i think that he may be interested but not enough to leave him gf - which would suck cuz it'd keep you hanging... let's just hope that doesn't happen good luck, -yes
fanou22 Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Sunshine, Just walk away from it. Should he become available, then by all means feel free to pursue him. Don't rationalize it by telling yourself that you can walk away anytime unhurt. If you decide to go ahead with it, know that one day you will get hurt.
Babysistah Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Hello Sunshine..... I would say don't pursue him and move on...... Married or not they still sound like a family to me (you mentioned children are involved)..... Plus if he could be taken away from her he could also be taken away from you. With you all going to the same church wouldn't that be awkward or maybe even cause drama? I too am divorced with two kids.....I had a very similar situation involving a man from my church except its much deeper than just flirting......take it from me.....you don't want to go there.
brashgal Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 I was in this position, on the other side - I was the gf with the children. Trust me, just because there is no piece of paper doesn't mean it isn't a partnership - this man is NOT available. Walk away now and find someone unattached before you are responsible for home wrecking. If he decides to move out and become a free agent, then you can date him without any guilty conscience. I have not forgiven the woman who came between me and my ex. Even though it was for the best, she is better for him, etc, etc, I cannot get over the lies and immorality - we will NEVER be friends which is a shame.
supermom Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 That's pretty low you are considering breaking them up or wanting them to break up HELLO! did you forget about their CHILD? If you persue this and it happens maybe you should be the one to explain why daddy is leaving. This kind of crap makes me so mad, nobody mentions the kids, just that they have them.
Mr Spock Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 Regardless of children(I hate it when people toss them around for reasons for keeping a horrible marriage together too, supermom, don't forget THAT) I'd be hesitant of a man who's willing to exchange one cow for another-if he was interested in a serious relationship with you he'd be up front and honest (church, for god's sake) chances are he's looking to hump you. If you're ok with just humping, that's fine-even if you THINK you are, chances are you're not and I'll be talking to you again in 6 months-if you're not, walk away. Don't touch him until he's shown serious interest and left his current GF. Only then, consider it because that's HONEST. Dating him on the sly isn't.
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