OliveOyl Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 My BF and I are fairly compatible sleepers. When he first stayed overnight with me I learned he snores and sometimes loudly. (My ex-hubby snored loudly and I thought I'd escaped that but noo .) Fortunately BF doesn't snore loudly every night. If I am awake while he is snoring, it is harder for me to fall asleep. But once I fall asleep, noises generally don't wake me up. We are not spooners or cuddlers while actually sleeping, which is fine (preferred) by me. Especially since sometimes find myself waking up with hot flashes these days BF gets up very early for work. The one big change I have made is now that we are living together, I don't let myself stay up very late anymore. I used to be a huge night owl, but in retrospect that was bad for my marriage -- my ex and I became "ships passing in the night". I don't plan to let that happen with my current relationship. One thing I love is that even when I do come to bed a bit later than BF, he keeps the light on (light doesn't disturb his sleeping) until I do come to bed, and even if he's been sleeping, he always rolls over and gives me a kiss good night.
louise_23 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I would not feel close to my partner if we didn't share a bed... i dont think ill ever share a house with a man again to be honest lol. live out husband for me.
Janesays Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 My guy and I are both very LIGHT sleepers and wake up multiple times a night. With that said, he falls back asleep a fair bit easier than I do.
ThaWholigan Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I sleep very heavily, but take a while to get to sleep. I'm also highly nocturnal. I need to be with a woman who is as nocturnal as I am.
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) So how much do you value sleep compatibility? And have you been lucky in your life to be in relationships where your sleep habits and patterns matched your partner's? If they didn't, what did you do? I value it highly because it affects how much quality time we can spend together. My ex was a night owl turned morning lark. I'm a night owl but actually enjoy being a morning lark now and again. We both needed the same amount of sleep but he tended to have to wake up earlier due to his job, whereas I could lie in due to my more flexible job. We both tended to sleep through. My current SO can get by on about four hours when he's working. But when he's not, needs to sleep a lot more, more than me. I suspect that those are his "catch-up" sleeps. We are both light sleepers when alone but heavy sleepers when together. I usually sleep through, whereas he may get up after a few hours and then return to bed. I usually need a good eight hours or so but can get by on about seven, at a push. Though I've gone through periods in my life where I was lucky to get 5-6 or even no sleep for a few days. More than eight only works if I'm catching up on sleep, otherwise I feel more tired. Then there's the snoring... Edit: My ex and I never really realised our sleep differences were a problem and therefore it was never communicated or dealt with. My SO and I are much more self-aware and we have discussed it. Though still working on solutions. The SO can fall asleep fairly easily, he's good at catching a nap on demand, but I tend to only be able to sleep when I'm physically tired and there's nothing keeping me awake. Edited July 10, 2012 by january2011
KR10N Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I woke up at 3 pm yesterday...it was glorious...or my life really is that boring... How do you do it? I can't sleep. Period. I wake up early in the am hours... and can't sleep. Ever! I have to really, really, really, really, really, REALLY exhaust myself in order to get a few hours of sleep. FML.
pteromom Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I don't think it is necessary for two people to be on the exact same schedule or be similar in how easy they go and stay asleep, but I do think having respect for the other person and their sleep is important. I also think it is important to be compatible when it comes to when it is ok to wake each other up/touch each other, etc. while sleeping. But mostly, it's about respecting the other person and their differences. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Can't sleep sex be considered a sleep incompatibility? ::whistles innocently:: I've never had that big of a problem with this even though I'm a later sleeper rather than early riser, I like nights not mornings. I was thinking more along the lines of someone who likes to sleep alone where as some of us like to cuddle up on others, holding their hand or arm...quite embarrassing actually typing that out :S
carhill Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I never had any sleep issues with the women I was in relationships with. I adjusted well from long periods of sleeping alone. With my exW, she snored pretty loud so I wore some earplugs from the shop to bed. I tend to sleep fixed in one position all night (my exW told me) so I guess it was a pretty compatible style.
DjinnAgain Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Here's a topic I don't think I've ever seen discussed on LS, yet it has been something that has always bothered me in my own relationships... How "sleep compatible" are you with people you've dated or are dating? Are you both "good at sleep," i.e., do you generally fall asleep easily? Or do you or your partner have trouble sleeping? I can fall asleep very easily and can sleep through practically anything. Everyone I've ever dated has always had sleep issues, so I've always felt bad that I could sleep so easily, while they'd have trouble...and sometimes I feel like my being there keeps them up or wakes them up... Additionally, I love sleeping in, and of course, every girl I've dated doesn't...so they are almost always awake sometimes hours before me and go off to do their own thing, leaving me to sleep...and I'm sure that bothers them...which in turn bothers me... So how much do you value sleep compatibility? And have you been lucky in your life to be in relationships where your sleep habits and patterns matched your partner's? If they didn't, what did you do? The fact I'm a morning person has been an issue -- I want to go to bed early because I will wake up early no matter how late I am up. Everyone seems to be night people, and I stay up late to get time with them and then I'm still up at 6 am at the latest because I simply cannot stay asleep past that point whether I went to bed at 8 pm or 3 am. I don't mind taking some alone time then
Els Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 The fact I'm a morning person has been an issue -- I want to go to bed early because I will wake up early no matter how late I am up. Everyone seems to be night people, and I stay up late to get time with them and then I'm still up at 6 am at the latest because I simply cannot stay asleep past that point whether I went to bed at 8 pm or 3 am. I don't mind taking some alone time then Really? I think most people are morning larks - why else would the working day start at freaking 8am? An incompatibility I have with my bf is that his sleep time changes ALL THE TIME. He's naturally a night owl, and a very late night owl - his natural bed time, like mine, is probably something like 3-6am if left to his own devices. But he has to be up at 7am for work. So he sleeps at 12-1 am on weekdays... then 4am on weekends. He has no trouble adjusting, but if I were to follow that and go to bed at the same time as him I'd go bananas.
Author USMCHokie Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 I was thinking more along the lines of someone who likes to sleep alone where as some of us like to cuddle up on others, holding their hand or arm...quite embarrassing actually typing that out :S It certainly also includes that. I love falling asleep cuddled all up on someone, arms wrapped around her, etc. Unfortunately, I generate an obscene amount of body heat, which forces me to sleep practically nekkid with just a sheet, or I'll sweat myself awake... So if I get too close for too long, it'll turn into an oven under the covers...which I'm sure is great for winter time...
january2011 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I generate an obscene amount of body heat Ah yes, I've experienced this with my previous partner and the current one. It is great in the winter and is less so in the summer when things get sticky and there's been no hanky panky! Though on some level, it's actually quite hot (pun intended). One good thing about having a partner who tends to be warmer is that there's a lower likelihood of having to fight for the covers. So perhaps an instance where the difference actually helps.
DjinnAgain Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Really? I think most people are morning larks - why else would the working day start at freaking 8am? But everyone complains about it and reaches for coffee like it's a life preserver! I wake up very energized and happy and peppy - even with very little sleep. Morning hours are good hours. Sometime in the late afternoon to early evening - the less sleep I had the earlier this happens - I crash hard and my productivity plummets. I would be happy to be asleep by 9 pm each night if I could. The changing is rough. I like to sleep the same number of a lot of hours every night-- if I get over tired, I have a hard time sleeping, like a toddler. My ex seemed to be able to "catch up" on the weekends -I can't do that. I start sleeping less and less each day and just feeling sick and moody. He also would set the alarm and not wake up and just keep resetting it for 3 hours. Once the sound goes and I am awake, I am awake. There is no getting back to sleep. I like to cuddle at bedtime but not be cuddled up sleeping past the first few months when someone is new and you overlook that you wake up with a crick in your neck. Everyone I have slept with has been compatible in that though - sounds like it's not so with everyone though.
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