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Life Really Goes On..

LovelyLaura

By LovelyLaura
in The Other Man / Woman

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LovelyLaura Member

LovelyLaura

Posted
Posted

Hi, im back.

 

I guess i miss this community, i dont know, life has been great for me.

But i keep coming back to LS, especially this forum, read the latest post from anyone here.

 

And i just realize that every story is shockingly similar with one another.

Its like the MM has the same user manual book, hahaha :p

 

Every reason from MM, every story being told, everything, it follows a certain pattern.

It could be genuine, it could be fake.

I dont know, its kinda difficult to distinguish them because its all the same.

The only way to prove whether its true or not, is to look up beyond their words. Look at their action, do their actions mirror their words?

Do they put a REAL effort to be with you?

 

Thats just my opinion after all.

 

As for my situation, im doing good.

Fantastic even.

I met a new guy (single ofcourse :D) and date him, try to take things slowly, and all is wonderful.

 

xMM still popping up here and there, but i keep my response brief and professional business like.

From the first time when i entered the A, i didnt let myself fall from him. I enjoyed his attention, and at some point, i really wished he could leave his family to be with me (i guess its the fog right? :laugh:)

But then i realized that its just so stupid. He's like 15y older than me,

Its like me throwing my future out of the window.

I used my head and i know when i wake up in the morning, its not the life that i want to face.

I know the fact that he cheats,

this will haunt me for every single second spent with him.

And when reality hit, i decided to walk away.

 

First couple weeks, yes its hard.

Even when i didnt love this man, but i did care for him.

I cried, i grieved for the lost of him.

But life goes on.

And as the pattern stated, he begged me to stay.

Said things like he loved me, he missed me with his every bone, bla bla bla..

But no, i said no, its over.

Even if he knocks on my door and hand me his divorce paper, i will not fall back to his arm.

Because i know his quality and what he's capable of, and i just couldnt handle it.

I have my bright future and career in front of me, and i will not waste it on some old, bald, fat guy who cheats on his wife more than once.

 

So good bye and so loong, no more tears for you kiddos.. :bunny:

 

And now im so busy planning for my 7d/6n Bali Vacation with my man (my own man, never ever have to share him with anyone :p) next month. Yeay.. :bunny:

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Artie Lang Established Member

Artie Lang

Posted
Posted

"By George, I think she's got it!"

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LovelyLaura Member

LovelyLaura

Posted
  • Author
Posted
"By George, I think she's got it!"

Oh yes Artie, damn yes, i got it..

 

Thanks for all your sarcastic input back then, you know, i think i really need that, hard knock in my head, and you do that well, hahahaha..

 

Now, im hell free..

Just to deal with xMM in 2 weeks from now, because i have to head back to my headquarter, see his face.

But this time, no more butterflies, no more rose tainted glass,

I see him for what he really is.

His selfish ass, his manipulative act,

I believe that deep inside, he is a good man,

but unfortunately, he is not good enough for me.

I deserve better, far way better than him.

 

Thanks artie, lady grey..

Both of you has been very supportive during my dark age, hahahaha...

Artie Lang Established Member

Artie Lang

Posted
Posted

i was only pointing out the obvi, Laura. you just needed to see it.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted

Woot Woot! :bunny:

 

Great for you Laura :)

 

You'll have loads of fun in Bali.

 

I loved what you said about looking at the facts, using your head and realizing it really wasn't worth it. Sure you could have hedged your bet and stayed for years hoping he'd change, diagnosing him etc. But instead you left, grieved the loss and now bigger and brighter things have come into your life; instead of the former merry-go-round to nowhere. I also love that you said he may be a good man but not good enough for you....yesss girl!

ac11442 Member

ac11442

Posted
Posted

Laura, Thank you! I'm just over a month of nc and it's been really hard. xMM and I were together 3 years so to lose that just like that was devastating. Ultimately it was his decision to call it off, due to his w finding out...again...but I felt myself getting closer to doing it myself, just not having the courage. He probably did me a huge favor by ending it, I'm just having a hard time seeing that right at this moment. As a matter of fact I'm fighting the urge to email him even as I type this.

 

I tried dating for a couple of years after my divorce and saying it didn't go well is an understatement. MM was the first guy in a very very very long time, if ever, to like me. Love me. I'm a serious smartass and he liked that. We were so different, almost opposite, and that's what he liked about me. So many of the qualities I like about myself that others have rejected me for he appreciated. How could I not fall for this man? I was starting to think maybe he was the only man that would ever really accept me for who I really am. The last month has been horrible.

 

But you have given me hope that it gets better. That maybe one day I, too, will be planning my vacation with someone I care about. Someone I don't have to share. Someone I can plan a trip with without having to figure out when he can get away for a few days without raising suspicion. A man I can call any time of the day and he will answer. I want that. I deserve that. And I'm hopeful that I'll find it.

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LovelyLaura Member

LovelyLaura

Posted
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Good for you Laura!

 

I'm happy for you.

 

Thank you LadyGrey, i hope all of us could find our inner peace soon,

and be glad that all of this mess is finally over.

I pray that we could be together with someone that see us as his number one priority under the bright sunny day.

No more hiding, no more lying, no more guilt :)

 

i was only pointing out the obvi, Laura. you just needed to see it.

 

Yes Artie, you are the Capt. Obvious in this forum. Hahahaha :lmao:

But still, back then, i couldnt see anything, i was so blinded. I guess the fog myth is really true :o

 

But now, looking back to the situation, i just realized that i was so damn stupid.

What the hell i thought back then?

Sacrificed so much for xMM, my time, my energy, my world, everything in me just revolved around him.

How ridiculous is that.. :rolleyes:

 

But now, i have nothing to do with him. No more drama.. :bunny:

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LovelyLaura Member

LovelyLaura

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Woot Woot! :bunny:

 

Great for you Laura :)

 

You'll have loads of fun in Bali.

 

I loved what you said about looking at the facts, using your head and realizing it really wasn't worth it. Sure you could have hedged your bet and stayed for years hoping he'd change, diagnosing him etc. But instead you left, grieved the loss and now bigger and brighter things have come into your life; instead of the former merry-go-round to nowhere. I also love that you said he may be a good man but not good enough for you....yesss girl!

Hi MissBee,

 

Its nice to hear from you. You are one of my favorite poster here, you gave me a lot of good advice without being too hard and pressure me to do things.

Thanks soooo muuuuch...

 

Yup, using my head is the best thing that i could do to myself back then.

And thank God, i still have the rational head of mine, so i could examine everything.

That yes, this man is not worth any more of my tear, any more of my time,

and i couldnt built a future with someone that i couldnt trust completely.

 

With that thought of my head, i snapped my self out of the fog and the fantasy,

and saw everything like it is.

I walked away, and free my self from the long term misery.

 

I have to admit, i do not hate xMM.

For me, he's still a good man, he made a mistake, but we all are human,

we do mistake, we learn from it.

But the truth is he's just not good enough for me,

and i will not throw away my entire life just to be with him, when i know i couldnt trust him completely.

It's that simple, yes it is..

Edited by LovelyLaura
  • Like 2
woinlove Established Member

woinlove

Posted
Posted

Good for you, LL. To me, this line says it all:

 

I used my head and i know when i wake up in the morning, its not the life that i want to face.

 

You decided what you wanted and deserved and you took action. Good for you! Enjoy Bali.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
Hi MissBee,

 

Its nice to hear from you. You are one of my favorite poster here, you gave me a lot of good advice without being too hard and pressure me to do things.

Thanks soooo muuuuch...

 

Yup, using my head is the best thing that i could do to myself back then.

And thank God, i still have the rational head of mine, so i could examine everything.

That yes, this man is not worth any more of my tear, any more of my time,

and i couldnt built a future with someone that i couldnt trust completely.

 

With that thought of my head, i snapped my self out of the fog and the fantasy,

and saw everything like it is.

I walked away, and free my self from the long term misery.

 

I have to admit, i do not hate xMM.

For me, he's still a good man, he made a mistake, but we all are human,

we do mistake, we learn from it.

But the truth is he's just not good enough for me,

and i will not throw away my entire life just to be with him, when i know i couldnt trust him completely.

It's that simple, yes it is..

 

 

Awww you're more than welcome. :bunny:

 

I'm just very happy for you and resonate with the not being good enough aspect. I don't care how well-suited a MM and I are...he's just gonna have to be "close but no cigar". No man is your last chance...married or single.

Artie Lang Established Member

Artie Lang

Posted
Posted
Yes Artie, you are the Capt. Obvious in this forum. Hahahaha :lmao:

 

lmao.

 

 

good luck, Laura.

  • Author
LovelyLaura Member

LovelyLaura

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Laura, Thank you! I'm just over a month of nc and it's been really hard. xMM and I were together 3 years so to lose that just like that was devastating. Ultimately it was his decision to call it off, due to his w finding out...again...but I felt myself getting closer to doing it myself, just not having the courage. He probably did me a huge favor by ending it, I'm just having a hard time seeing that right at this moment. As a matter of fact I'm fighting the urge to email him even as I type this.

 

I tried dating for a couple of years after my divorce and saying it didn't go well is an understatement. MM was the first guy in a very very very long time, if ever, to like me. Love me. I'm a serious smartass and he liked that. We were so different, almost opposite, and that's what he liked about me. So many of the qualities I like about myself that others have rejected me for he appreciated. How could I not fall for this man? I was starting to think maybe he was the only man that would ever really accept me for who I really am. The last month has been horrible.

 

But you have given me hope that it gets better. That maybe one day I, too, will be planning my vacation with someone I care about. Someone I don't have to share. Someone I can plan a trip with without having to figure out when he can get away for a few days without raising suspicion. A man I can call any time of the day and he will answer. I want that. I deserve that. And I'm hopeful that I'll find it.

 

 

Ow ac11442, my heart goes to you.

 

I could relate to every single word in your post.

At that time when the A took place, i thought that MM was the most compatible person for me.

We laughed together on my quirky jokes that no one could understand,

We shared everything in so many levels ,

At some point, i thought he was the one.

 

So i could imagine your pain, the pain that we have to lose someone that sooo compatible with us.

The pain that we have to lose every beautiful moment with him,

Its just unbearable.

 

The bolded above..

Isnt it what we all want?

And when we realize that MM couldnt give that to us,

we realize that nothing in this world that he could offer, would be enough for us.

We want our own man, without having to share it with someone,

We want him just for us, anytime anywhere,

without deceiving, calculating every single action to avoid attention,

we want to show him in a bright sunny day,

not quick kiss in dark alley.

 

And for me, when i realize that he couldnt give me that,

and i deserve so muuuch more than what he could offer,

i just simply walked away..

 

The pain will lessen, things will get better..

Trust me ac11442, you are stronger than this.

You are stronger than him.

Dont fall back into that situation..

  • Author
LovelyLaura Member

LovelyLaura

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Good for you, LL. To me, this line says it all:

 

 

 

You decided what you wanted and deserved and you took action. Good for you! Enjoy Bali.

 

Yes woinlove, thank you.. Just like missbee, you are the one that gave me so many insight back then.. :bunny:

Life is a series of option.

We are happy or we are not, its purely based on our own decision.

What we go through right now is the path the we choose for ourself.

I didnt regret the A, its a big free lesson for me (not so free i guess, i sacrifice much for this one, hahahaha)

But its worth it. I learn a lot about my self, about my value system, about a marriage, compromise, trust, i learn so muuch about this heavy things that maybe i wouldnt give a second thought now if i didnt enter the A.

 

Yup, now im in vacation planning mode. And that feels awesome.

Holding hands in public, vacation planning (not sneaking planning, see the difference? :o), kissing in the park, building a real future together (not future faking, see the difference? :p), dreaming big, smiling everday,

gosh this is the life that we all deserve.. :bunny:

 

 

 

Awww you're more than welcome. :bunny:

 

I'm just very happy for you and resonate with the not being good enough aspect. I don't care how well-suited a MM and I are...he's just gonna have to be "close but no cigar". No man is your last chance...married or single.

 

Yo go girl, thats just so true.

NO MAN IS OUR LAST CHANCE :bunny:

 

We will find our happiness, guilty-free happiness,

because life is really goes on..

Earth will keep spinning, and you will find your true man,

that adores you, ONLY you.. :love:

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