Jason02 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 So I have posted before that my ex came back and wants to work it out. We been together for 8 years and went on a break for 2 months. NC for those two. when she called she said she wanted to make it work. this and i is what she wants. she said the reason she wanted a break was because she felt we fell in a routine and that i didn't treat her like i use to. that she felt unloved and unwanted. which i can admit i did pull back a bit, but that was because she distanted herself and i was preparing myself for something big like this. So we met up for a walk by a trail where we live. It was akward at first, but eventually we loosen up and started acting normal by then end. we eventually ended up at her place and slept together. everything was pretty ok that day, but i still had my guard up because she walked away from me and i was devistated. But i thought hey we are going to make it work. the next couple of days i have been trying to make her feel loved and wanted and trying to talk/text/communicate with her. but i feel everytime i do she just kind of blows me off. not completely but just like whatever she is doing is way more important. now i know i should be her main priority, but i want to feel like at least i am one of many. for example, she'll text me hey and i respond within 5 min something like hey whats up...... FORTY mins later she'll reply nothing much just at home. WTF is that? that and she says that we should take is slow and lets just see where we end up. i don't think taking it slow involves sleeping together the first day we get back together. so im getting mixed signals I know i have to try to make her feel loved and wanted, but I don't know if she doesn't realize it but I'm scared to get hurt again like last time. I can only try so much without getting any sense of her trying back before we fall in the same problem again. Should i keep trying or should i just give up trying and see if she tries?
Philosoraptor Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 So what has she done to show you that the same patterns and issues aren't going to come back this time around? If you're already being hurt by her actions you need to speak up and communicate such things. Either you'll get a positive change or at least not get in so deep again that you get quite as broken. 1
Sebastian76 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 She is indeed sending very mixed signals. I think her behavior speek louder than her words. The NC made her feel that she had lost you, which triggered her mind into thinking that she wanted you back. Now that she knows you're back in the fold it seems like her feelings are sliding back to where she was two months ago. I would be very skeptical about her true intensions. Her aloof communication is a sign and you should not brush it off imho. If I truly want to be with somebody I never want to take it slow, but want it now and all the time. It is probably not what you want to hear, but it might be better than getting dumped twice in a short time and having to start all over with the process of healing rebuilding your hurt ego. /Seb
rayne05us Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Coming from a female prespective, If she does want to be with you, make sure you're the same person she fell in love with. Make sure you did what you did to make her fall in love with her in the first place. She can see that you're scared and that you nervous and anxious. Show your confidence, do what you can to regain your confidence so she can feel SAFE around you again. Confidence is key tho. I would do some research on how to do this. Also, most of all TAKE YOUR TIME, go slow and don't read into every little thing. The confident, loving man she knows wouldn't do that. Give her some space to breathe and if she doesn't respond to that, than you'll know it has run your course.
Recommended Posts