amazeon79 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Long story, Please read ... I'm a 33yo woman, I was in a lesbian relationship with a 30yo for 2yrs.... The relatioship was great up until the last 1-2 months... She and I started to argue a lot over petty things which would result in full blown shouting matches... We were also dealing with our own individual stress (school,moving,sick parents)... All of those things lead us to losing the romance and not focusing on being a loving couple, we weren't intimate either... I must admit that because I had been hurt in the past, I would sometimes say things like "maybe we shouldn't be together"... I NEVER meant it and I know it was the worst thing I could have ever said because I caused a lot of doubt and insecurity in her towards us.... It is the WORST defense tactic ... During the last argument she decided she wanted a break for a week and then she dumped me!!! She was done.. I was devestated and cried for an entire month but I kept No Contact... I did stalk her FB page and found she has been seeing someone imediately after she left me. THIS hurt like hell! Then after a month she came back!!! She said she was sorry and that it was the biggest mistake of her life! She stated she left because she was angry at me because she felt like she couldn't communicate with me anymore w/o me going off... She said she was tired of arguing and the lack of intamacy... She admitted to having sex with that other women... and that she never stopped loving me and really wants us to work! I was overjoyed and we have been talking and communicating more than ever! We have been crying together and really expressing our feelings about what happened aswell. I told her lets be friends first and see where it can go because we need to start fresh... BUT.... I don't know how to feel now... I'm confused.. I love her and I want to be with her but I feel betrayed... I feel like she isn't on the pedestal I had her on... I'm still hurting... I didn't expect her to come back so soon and I spent a month trying to forget her and she came back... we are having sex and hanging out and it feels great... but when I'm alone I feel very depressed about her and everything that happened... Is this normal? Did I let her come back too fast/easy? Will I ever fully forgive and forget or just move past this so we can be like we were? Am I just not inlove anymore or is this a broken heart feeling? Any advice is appreciated... thanks
Philosoraptor Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 You need to decide if you can let this go or not. It's normal to be scared as you just went from a big hurt to happy again... worry that it will happen again is natural. Just don't allow the same patterns to repeat from before and work hard on communication. 2
Author amazeon79 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 Thanks you much Philosoraptor... I'm really going to try and make this work... but I'm so pissed and angry at her for letting this happen and her sleeping with someone else so quickly... It hurts, but I guss time will heal me... IDK... Thanks
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