UCFKevin Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 Is it me, or are people in such a HUGE hurry to get married and have kids and settle down nowdays? I'm talking like 18, 19, 20, sometimes ever YOUNGER. People just want to be ready to be grown up so damn early nowadays and be adults. I have to wonder how often it works and how often it doesn't? Call me pessimistic, but I'd think that most very young marriages generally don't work out, since no one really knows who they are when they're 18, for God's sake, things change, big time, in the early 20's, during college, what have you. Don't people wanna get out there and live for themselves? It's almost like they think the world's population is dwindling and must solve this problem immediately.
HoldOn Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 There are two kinds of people in the world... Those who wait until they are financially and emotionally ready to have children and those who have children way too early (either on purpose or accidently). Guess which group ends up happier in the end...
supermom Posted July 6, 2004 Posted July 6, 2004 UCF Kevin, When I saw your pic, I thought of Ben Affleck Anyway, when I was 19 I was in a rush to get married, but divorced at 21. I am 25, remarried w/ one child but I do wish I would of waited until at least my 2nd husband and also I would of liked to be young longer. If I knew back then what I know now.....things would of been different.
packersgirl Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 UCF Kevin, I agree with you. There are so many people just in a big rush to grow up and get married all to fast!! My best friend is only 18, almost 19, and is in a serisous relationship with a 24 year old guy. Though the age difference doesn't bother me, I know her mind has already drifted to the "forever" side. My sister is the same way. She's only 17 and already wants to get married. She has a boyfriend my age, almost 21, and she's already worried about him not wanting to marry her and finding a boyfriend who will. Two of my friends, 22 and 21, are getting married in September. Its all crazy! I don't think youngin's these days realize how big of a responsibility leap it is to go from living at home, depending on mom, dad, or both... to being out on your own, taking care of yourself, paying bills, living in the real world. I've been on my own for over a year now, and I'm a firm believer in people living out on their own, away from parental grasp, before marriage. But, no matter what we say, its not going to change the fact that people will get married at 18,19 or 20... If they want to rush their lives, then thats their choice and they'll have to live with it.
swtbonita Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 well I'm 23 yrs old and in a serious relationship, the only thing I am waiting for is to finish school.. I want to be financially secure before getting married.. I want a good job.. Some people come to me and my bf and ask why we aren't married yet because we love each other.. And I think thats the problem.. The problem is the idea that people have in their head that Love Conquers All... I love my bf but I realize that in order for me to enjoy a marriage with him, I have to be able to do my part to keep the marriage a float.. Financial problems are the biggest stressors in a relationship. And many people get married young, have kids, and then realize how difficult a marriage really is. I know a couple that got married a year ago (she was 17 and he was 21) and now they have a little baby.. I realize they are in love.. but she doesn't have a job, they rent an apartment and he does manuel labour.. They always talk about how they never have money and how they wish they could buy a house.. These are the same people that keep telling me to get married and like i have always told them (before and after they got married) "I want a house to live in and i want a good job before i get married and have kids." Love is only one aspect needed for a marriage.. But the problem i see is that people get married at a young age because their life lacks love.. like in other relationships with mothers, fathers or siblings, etc. I also agree that people change during late teens to late twenties and people have to take time to understand themselves before they come to understand others..
yes Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 First of all, it really depends on the culture. In some countries, getting married at about 20 is the standard. Now, without any standards in mind, i think men are generally in less of a rush than women, and for a good reason. A man can be fifty, marry a younger woman and start a family. A woman has to start a family before 35 - it's quite dangerous to have kids past that age - at least for me, that's the factor that would make me seek a permanent r/s sooner rather than later (even though i still have quite a few years to live for myself, thank god ). Also, something to keep in mind is that some types of ppl simply cannot be happy w/out a family - they want ppl to take care of, to share daily life with, etc... they don't want any time for themselves only - and so they settle down early. Yet others don't really want to settle yet, but they meet someone they feel very good with, and don't wanna let go of that person for a few more years of freedom - and so they settle early. For example, I know a couple who is in their early 20s and already has two kids - and as far as i know, they're very happy - good for them!! I also know a guy who's in his 40s and just starting to settle down, also quite happy with things - good for him!! I think my bottom line is ... do what suits you! There're so many diff't factors and possible situations... *shrug* -yes
Bojickwoman Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 People these days seem WAY too concerned with getting married right away out of high school and college. I don't know really why this is the case. With the divorce rate being as high as it is, why in the world would someone so young want to rush into a commitment like that? I think many young people also think that is it less of a big deal than it should be because it IS so easy to get a divorce these days. Heck, seeing all the Brittneys and j-los in the media almost glamorizes multiple marriages. I had many friends who got married right out of high school and in their early 20's only to either be completely miserable, divorced or on their 2nd and 3rd marriages right now. I never succumbed to the peer pressure to do so, and still am not married at age 30. My main concern is to make sure I am financially stable before venturing into something like that. I have an education, a good job and right now I'm saving for a house. Everything will fall into place when it is time to.
Bubbles Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 I thinks it's mostly women who are looking for security but do not understand the responsibility that comes along with that. Most of us women want to be married because it supposed to be the thing to do after high school right?.......get married and have kids. I think there are generations of people out there who got married waaaaay too young or because society said that this is the "right" thing to do. Me on the other hand......I got talked into marriage because the fellow I was with wanted to have children so badly. He sad that he would always love me and cherish me - yes those were his exact words! What girl wouldn't fall for that. Well as it turns out. He wanted kids - not the woman that came along with those kids. As far as he was concerned........I could clock out at 6:00pm when he got home! Now?,..........I never, ever want to get married again. I enjoy just being with someone that enjoys my company. I don't care about living together.....I do not EVER want to hear another marriage proposal......as far as I am concerned?!? Once was enough Thank-you! Bubbles
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