canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I have been involved with a MM for 6 and a half years. He told his wife 8 months ago and was suppose to end his marriage by the end of his month. We have been sneaking around since last November, I wanted to end the affair but he refuses and is hoping his wife will end it for him. My question is should I tell his wife and let the chips fall where they may? I love him and he loves me but he also loves his wife. If I decide to walk away should I tell his wife who by the way is in complete denial because he has her convinced we ended it. Please don't be mean in your responses, I never meant to fall in love with a MM.
Mount Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Wow...6.5 years that is really long, it must be hard for you enduring all the time. May I know how old you are and what age difference between you and him. I am not encouraging you to stay but ff you think there has a good chance you and the MM can be together after he divorces, you may give a try. But again it is up to your decision though.
2sure Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I have seen affair partners getting caught and feeling relieved that they don't have to ask for a divorce because their spouse will. But...if that were the case with your MM , why did he go to such effort to convince his wife the affair was over? 1
BetrayedH Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I have been involved with a MM for 6 and a half years. He told his wife 8 months ago and was suppose to end his marriage by the end of his month. We have been sneaking around since last November, I wanted to end the affair but he refuses and is hoping his wife will end it for him. My question is should I tell his wife and let the chips fall where they may? I love him and he loves me but he also loves his wife. If I decide to walk away should I tell his wife who by the way is in complete denial because he has her convinced we ended it. Please don't be mean in your responses, I never meant to fall in love with a MM. You should tell his wife and leave both of them alone. He's obviously a cake-eater and you should both be ashamed of what you have done to his wife.
GLDheart Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Having had my family ripped apart by my EX's infidelity, I will try to withhold my personal negative opinions on your situation. With that said, however, don't you feel living this way is extremely messy? I'm sure he sleeps with both of you. Does it bother you to think he is "cheating" on you with her? I'm sure he lives two seperate lives showing her one thing and you a different side of him. Are you ok settling for "half a man"?
2sure Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 As to your question...yes, you should tell his wife. After over 6 years, a Dday, and the gaslighting .....this is beyond cruel. Tell her, regardless of your reason for doing so. 2
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 As to your question...yes, you should tell his wife. After over 6 years, a Dday, and the gaslighting .....this is beyond cruel. Tell her, regardless of your reason for doing so. I agree with you, I think he needs to tell her. I have thought about ending it and if I do I still think he should tell her. I know this will never happen but part of me wishes her and I could compare notes to see what lies each of us are being told. She seems to believe him or at least that's what her posts on another site say. I know she is a very smart woman do she must be able to see through the lies. She may just be gathering info before confronting him or I.
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Wow...6.5 years that is really long, it must be hard for you enduring all the time. May I know how old you are and what age difference between you and him. I am not encouraging you to stay but ff you think there has a good chance you and the MM can be together after he divorces, you may give a try. But again it is up to your decision though. I'm sure if she kicks him out or leaves him then yes we will be together. Him and I are best friends. She thinks they're best friends but there's no way that's possible because of the continued relationship with me.
2sure Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 It is a special kind of hell to know but not know. It isn't denial. It's mind f **kery.
FryFish Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Him and I are best friends. She thinks they're best friends but there's no way that's possible because of the continued relationship with me. lol... Or maybe you and he ARENT best friends because of his continued MARRIAGE to his wife?!?! DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNN!!!!
Furious Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 part of me wishes her and I could compare notes to see what lies each of us are being told. She seems to believe him or at least that's what her posts on another site say. I know she is a very smart woman do she must be able to see through the lies. She may just be gathering info before confronting him or I. Are you saying his wife is posting on another site and you've been reading her posts?
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 How do you know he told his wife? She posted on another site and blames me for it all saying I went after him which is so far from the truth. I tried to end it today and he cried and begged me not to end it. We are very much in love and I know it's very messy and complicated.
Fitz Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Wow... May I know how old you are and what age difference between you and him. The ages and age differences involved = important detail. I know people can get quirmish about giving out too much info sometimes, but if you're scared then at least give ranges.
2sure Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 She posted on another site and blames me for it all saying I went after him which is so far from the truth. I tried to end it today and he cried and begged me not to end it. We are very much in love and I know it's very messy and complicated. You realize that she only thinks that because that's what he told her, while he was crying and begging her not to end it. 4
freestyle Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 The mere fact that he's waiting for his wife to end it tells me he's very passive aggressive, and cowardly. Eventually. you'll be dealing with his passive-aggression , too---good luck with that. With P/A types, whoever gets close enough to them, will be painted as the enemy......sooner, or later. 1
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 lol... Or maybe you and he ARENT best friends because of his continued MARRIAGE to his wife?!?! DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNN!!!! You could be right but he's not betraying me or breaking vows to me. He is always honest with me. Believe me I'm hurting too and being punished for my poor choices. This isn't about my bad moral choices the post is about should I tell her even if I end things with him or do I allow him to continue to lie to her.
eeyore1981 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I agree with you, I think he needs to tell her. I have thought about ending it and if I do I still think he should tell her. I know this will never happen but part of me wishes her and I could compare notes to see what lies each of us are being told. She seems to believe him or at least that's what her posts on another site say. I know she is a very smart woman do she must be able to see through the lies. She may just be gathering info before confronting him or I. BBM How do you know what she posts? I've gotta say, I so don't understand the mindset that goes on with people in affairs... You say he told her, and he wants her to leave him, and he's told her the affair with you is over...and this makes sense to you. Where do you see any logic in this? If this guy wanted to be with you, wouldn't it make more sense for him to leave, or put your relationship in his wife's face to make her leave? Or do you think he's just to scared to go through with it? Maybe you should contact his wife and let her know what's going on. If you spell out to her how dishonest her husband is being with her, maybe she'll kick him out, and then you can have him. This in turn could free her up to not waste another second of her life with this douchebag, and hopefully find a decent man who wouldn't treat her this way.
Furious Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 She posted on another site and blames me for it all saying I went after him which is so far from the truth. I tried to end it today and he cried and begged me not to end it. We are very much in love and I know it's very messy and complicated. Why don't you tape it the next time, and send her the tape.
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 The mere fact that he's waiting for his wife to end it tells me he's very passive aggressive, and cowardly. Eventually. you'll be dealing with his passive-aggression , too---good luck with that. With P/A types, whoever gets close enough to them, will be painted as the enemy......sooner, or later. You are right, I think it's easier to hate a stranger then the stranger sleeping next to her.
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Why don't you tape it the next time, and send her the tape. I have 4 short videos of him On my phone saying we'll be together and he will never stop seeing me no matter what.
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 Having had my family ripped apart by my EX's infidelity, I will try to withhold my personal negative opinions on your situation. With that said, however, don't you feel living this way is extremely messy? I'm sure he sleeps with both of you. Does it bother you to think he is "cheating" on you with her? I'm sure he lives two seperate lives showing her one thing and you a different side of him. Are you ok settling for "half a man"? I'm sorry that you have been affected by an affair, I would rather have the right man part time then the wrong man full time. 1
Furious Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I have 4 short videos of him On my phone saying we'll be together and he will never stop seeing me no matter what. This man is no good for either you or his wife. Why is it that you would want such a man? Even if you were to end up with him, would you ever trust him, would you ever really be happy? Let his wife know and then you both let him go. 2
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 BBM How do you know what she posts? I've gotta say, I so don't understand the mindset that goes on with people in affairs... You say he told her, and he wants her to leave him, and he's told her the affair with you is over...and this makes sense to you. Where do you see any logic in this? If this guy wanted to be with you, wouldn't it make more sense for him to leave, or put your relationship in his wife's face to make her leave? Or do you think he's just to scared to go through with it? Yes I think he is very scared, he has been with her for a very long time and he does love us both. The reason he told her it was over is because she threatened to kill herself and like I said he still loves her too. I know this isn't healthy but it is what it is. Love hurts!
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 This man is no good for either you or his wife. Why is it that you would want such a man? Even if you were to end up with him, would you ever trust him, would you ever really be happy? Let his wife know and then you both let him go. Yes I would trust him until he does something to me that would change my mind.
Author canuckprincess Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) Are you saying his wife is posting on another site and you've been reading her posts?[/ Edited July 10, 2012 by canuckprincess
Recommended Posts