Ladies don't forget your femininity

[Feelsgoodman]

As if equality must always be a battle. It doesn't.

Yes, it does have to be a battle. Equality is an artificial social construct. Men and women could never be equal in the natural habitat; we are too different. It takes a great deal of effort and social engineering to maintain this unnatural system. As long as this social experiment continues to run it's course, there will always be tension between the sexes.

 

Men who are man enough, have absolutely no issues with women being themselves. They have no need to dictate how a woman should act.

Men who are man enough do not let women dictate the definition of a 'real man'. Nor do they feel bound to tolerate unacceptable female behavior, even if the woman thinks that she is just "being herself". Men who are man enough go for women who meet their requirements and reject the ones who don't.

[Feelsgoodman]

Can't really say I agree with all that, but I partially agree with two or three.

Let's hear some of your examples.

[threebyfate]

Yes, it does have to be a battle.

Only to insecure, domineering men.

 

Equality is an artificial social construct.

Gender roles are a societal construct. Pick your poison.

 

Men who are man enough do not let women dictate the definition of a 'real man'. Nor do they feel bound to tolerate unacceptable female behavior, even if the woman thinks that she is just "being herself". Men who are man enough go for women who meet their requirements and reject the ones who don't.

Real men aren't misogynistic pansies.

[Teal]

Not being particularly feminine has brought me a lifetime of good friends, good hobbies, and memorable experiences along with a field of work I adore, even if no success in love. If I could go back in time to try a more feminine approach to life, I can't say I'd even consider the opportunity.

[bentnotbroken]

Men who are man enough do not let women dictate the definition of a 'real man'. Nor do they feel bound to tolerate unacceptable female behavior, even if the woman thinks that she is just "being herself". Men who are man enough go for women who meet their requirements and reject the ones who don't.

 

 

I can agree with this...because it works both ways......

 

Women who are woman enough do not let men dictate the definition of a "real woman". Nor do they feel bound to tolerate unacceptable male behavior, even if the man thinks that he is just "being( his manly self) himself". Woman who are women enough go for men who meet their requirements and reject the ones who don't. I like it!!!

[Feelsgoodman]

Gender roles are a societal construct. Pick your poison.

Nonsense. Gender roles are natural and dictated by biological differences between men and women. Gender equality is not natural to the human species.

[threebyfate]

Nonsense. Gender roles are natural and dictated by biological differences between men and women. Gender equality is not natural to the human species.

Something tells me you're not in the least informed, when it comes to sociology or psychology.

[bentnotbroken]

Something tells me you're not in the least informed, when it comes to sociology or psychology.

Yup...no argument there.

[Feelsgoodman]

Something tells me you're not in the least informed, when it comes to sociology or psychology.

I don't take my lessons in psychology and sociology from books written by feminist authors (just like I don't take my history lessons from conspiracy theorists and black revisionists).

[samsungxoxo]

Good thread. To give it some context, here's a list of some of the masculine traits/behaviors that women have adopted in the past couple of decades and that greatly reduce their attractiveness as mates:

 

1) Swearing and using foul language;

2) Engaging in rowdy partying and drunken excess;

3) Being ultra-competitive;

4) Snubbing traditional household duties like cooking, cleaning the house, etc.;

5) Being super-extraverted (social butterflies/serial flirts may be fun to hang out with but nobody wants one as a wife);

6) Putting career and education ahead of family.

1 & 2 Really... acting like a drunkard fool, shouting and excessive usage of foul language is a good trait for a man??? Hence it being a musculine trait. Rather shouldn't that be a trait that people with no education portrait (man or woman).

 

Basically a man can swear and act like a fool whenever he wants to but it looks worse if a woman does it? It looks bad on both of them.

 

3 Competitive? Well what human being would settle for 3rd place. I'm sure we all (man or woman) want to be in 1st place or at least one of the best. This is the same as when I'm taking my midterms and final exams (I'm competing right there... definitely will not give out my answers during the exam to anyone and if someone got a better grade then ok I'm happy for him/her).

 

4 Come to think of it, that's a job with the exception of not getting paid. Only way I wouldn't mind doing it would be the following:

1) My allergies get fixed else I can't do heavy cleaning (medical condition)

2) The man likes it and isn't into ''Because it's your duty to do so'' (otherwise it's not sincerity on his part... it means he's just into stereotype rather than natural)

3) I'm working on my career at the same time.

 

5 Being an extroverted and outgoing person (man or woman) doesn't always being dating a lot. You're confusing an extrovert with a fling.

 

6 So basically you're more happier with a simple household wife that barely graduated from high school (that you may fool easily too since she has no education) than if she could do both career and household chores?

 

Having an education is just as important as a family. None is better than the other. If someone has both then it's better.

[Feelsgoodman]

Having an education is just as important as a family. None is better than the other. If someone has both then it's better.

That's your opinion.

[samsungxoxo]

Sweetness, softness, kindness, being nurturing

Agreed but it should be a trait to look for in a partner (man or woman). Who on earth would want a nasty person!!!!

being ok with being a little more emotional than men

Not sure what you mean. You want a woman that cries over the drop of a hat??:confused:

being ok with being vulnerable in the right situations

Such as???? I'm wondering what kind of woman or any human being would like to be referred to as ''vulnerable''? That seems like a word used for someone with little to no self-esteem nor self-confidence.

letting good men take the lead every once in a while, not wanting to dominate everyone and everything around you.

If you mean switching turns and applying what you're best at ok that's where I would agree. None should be the submissive nor dominant partner but rather a functional, balanced relationship.

[samsungxoxo]

That's your opinion.

But it makes sense. It surprises me that if given the following options many would go for woman A.

Woman A: 8-10 in looks and good housewife but no education at all (just got out of high school)

Woman B: 6-7 in looks and a slightly older but not too much (within the man's age range), good housewife but with an education too

[Feelsgoodman]

But it makes sense.

Not from a man's standpoint. You won't find a man who gets a hardon from your diploma. Given the choice, the vast majority of men would pick girl A.

Edited July 12, 2012 by Feelsgoodman

[samsungxoxo]

Not from a man's standpoint. You won't find a man who gets a hardon from your diploma. Given the choice, the vast majority of men would pick girl A.

Exactly my point. As long as the woman only knows household chores, doesn't even know basic history, doesn't have a job nor likes reading books and is fine looking (not just cute), she can be as dumb as a post.

 

Technically you're just settling for a maid. Apart from that she has no real talent/skills.

Edited July 12, 2012 by samsungxoxo

[Feelsgoodman]

Exactly my point. As long as the woman only knows household chores, doesn't even know basic history nor likes reading books and is fine looking (not just cute), she can be as dumb as a post.

 

Technically you're just settling for a maid. Apart from that she has no real talent/skills.

Just because a woman does not have a degree does not mean she is dumb as a post. Education and intelligence are two different things. There is no shortage of educated dumbasses out there. Also, keep in mind that if you want to have a deep, intellectually stimulating conversation, you can always talk to your male friends. It's not like your girlfriend/wife is the only person you are allowed to communicate with.

 

When it comes to qualities men value in women, good looks, sexuality, pleasant demeanor, loyalty and ability to create domestic comfort are FAR more important than her academic training. If this comes as a surprise, you know nothing about men.

[Els]

Suggestion for the genuine posters who are reading this: If you desire a woman to act in a feminine manner with you, be a gentleman to them. Good actions beget good reactions - and that isn't just limited to gender-neutral actions.

[irin]

Sweetness, softness, kindness, being nurturing, being ok with being a little more emotional than men, being ok with being vulnerable in the right situations, letting good men take the lead every once in a while, not wanting to dominate everyone and everything around you.

 

is it weird i seek these in men: Sweetness, softness (not like my pillow, but gentle), kindness, being nurturing, being ok with being a little more emotional than me, being ok with being vulnerable in the right situations.

 

as for taking the lead, i strong believe in making decisions together 50/50 its not a race. whos gotta be walking ahead?

 

i dont dominate anything or anyone around me just as i expect that no one dominates me.

 

does this make me masculine?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Yes, it does have to be a battle. Equality is an artificial social construct. Men and women could never be equal in the natural habitat; we are too different. It takes a great deal of effort and social engineering to maintain this unnatural system. As long as this social experiment continues to run it's course, there will always be tension between the sexes.

 

Men and women should always be equal even if sometimes they are different. Equal doesn't mean "same".

 

Men who are man enough do not let women dictate the definition of a 'real man'. Nor do they feel bound to tolerate unacceptable female behavior, even if the woman thinks that she is just "being herself". Men who are man enough go for women who meet their requirements and reject the ones who don't.

 

If you are dating other men, then you would be right, you don't have to deal with a woman's definition of what a "real man" is. However, women are naturally going to have their own ideas about what makes a "real man" to her. That is her right. Just as it is your right to say what makes a 'real woman" when you wrote that list you posted. You have to work with women. You don't get to just say that women don't have any say in the kind of man they want in their life and must accept what *you* think makes a man a man.

[Feelsgoodman]

If you are dating other men, then you would be right, you don't have to deal with a woman's definition of what a "real man" is. However, women are naturally going to have their own ideas about what makes a "real man" to her.

Women have no idea what they want. They say they want one type of man and then go on to date someone who is the exact opposite. That's why listening to a woman tell you what a "real man" is is actually counterproductive.

[stillafool]

 

Most women also find men that are overly feminine unattractive.

 

 

 

Do men also find that women can be overly feminine?

[Radu]

If women don't like feminine men, why the rise of the metrosexual male which can trace it's modern origines in US culture in the '70's ?

 

In most countries with good social support systems in place, women generally prefer more feminine men [metrosexuals].

Countries like the US, Canada, most western countries, and even Romania and Greece.

In most other countries, they prefer more powerfully built men.

 

Again, these are averages.

This actually goes hand in hand with both my experience and of others, i live in Romania and i see it quite often.

[maybealone]

Not from a man's standpoint. You won't find a man who gets a hardon from your diploma.

 

Maybe not, but that diploma usually gets a higher salary, which in turn helps with that required 50% financial contribution.

[dextm]

Can we get a list of masculine and feminine qualities and see which one's can be overlapped?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Sweetness, softness, kindness, being nurturing, being ok with being a little more emotional than men, being ok with being vulnerable in the right situations, letting good men take the lead every once in a while, not wanting to dominate everyone and everything around you.

 

Some of these traits are good for anyone to foster within themselves. Kindness, being okay with one's own emotions, being vulnerable in the right situations, being capable of letting your partner take the lead every once in a while and not wanting to dominate everyone around you. Any man or woman would do well to have these qualities, and will fare better in a relationship if they do.

 

Stuff like being sweet, soft, nurturing - well, IMO you are or you aren't. If you aren't, trying to be those things in order to "catch a man" is probably a mistake.

 

The days of pretending to be a wilting violet of sorts are over. We get to be who we really are. If we find a mate who loves us for who we really are, that is beautiful.