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BOSTON GIRL
Posted

please help me b/c I need it. I am 25 years old, my boyfriend of 8 yrs is 26, we have a 3 yr old[this is our only child] and have been together since high school. We recently had an argument I told him to get out and I found out he moved in w/ agirl 24/ with 4 kids, none are his. She works at Mcdonalds and I have a 4yr degree making a good amt of money. I found out she has known about me and he has been visiting her for about 5 wks. Recently he came home at 6:50am after saying he was headed to the club. 95% of the time I know where he is although he has never cheated on me. I am more attractive than the girl and I love him truly. This is not the first time but, the second time he has cheated whenever we start having arguments about his family. I don't know at this point what to do. Please help!!!!!!! I found out where she stays it is a run down 2 bedroom home w/ no phone [ i realize money isn't everything but what is going on here?] we have a nice home, he refused to leave with me, I am angry , hurt, and confused, I want him back but, he may cheat again when we start having problems. How could he risk this relationship 2 times with 2 diffferent women who have nothing going for themselves???????

 

males and females please respond

what am i doing wrong with all I have going for myself?

should i fight for him or will he come around?

how long will it take to see how stupid he is acting?

and any other advice!!!!!!!!!

NotaBadGuy
Posted

Boston,

 

Please reread what you wrote. You don't deserve to be treated that way. It doesn't make sense. He sounds like some selfish child in a mans body. There are a lot of them out there and they do their best to make the rest of us decent guys look bad. If he is running around with some other woman and staying with her, why would you want to subject yourself to such pain? Your child surly doesn't need that drama. You need to kick him to the curb and take care of yourself and you're child. You sound like you have alot going for you with the degree, good job and home.

 

I know none of what is said makes it any easier, but you have to look at what you wrote and see that you don't deserve to be treated that way. If he has cheated 2x, why would he not do it again given his immediate track record? I too know the pain associated with the cheating ex. Except mine did it during marriage (2 different marriages) and then divorced me to take off with the other men. And I, like you, have the education (law), and am proceeding down the pathway to sucess.

 

Some people are interested in what they want right now and are unwilling to make the sacrafices neccesary to make it into the future. You need to look at what he is doing. It is not fair to you or your child. It is clearly irresponsible behavior that should not be tolerated. It may not be what you wanted to hear. Anyways, good luck to you. You will make it. It is not an easy road. I am about 8 months into when my ex left me after I caught her with him. Its still tough at times. The betrayal hurts and the pain is real. One day at a time.

 

NotaBadGuy

Posted

I think your biggest mistake was taking him back after he cheated the first time. Seems to me hes either trying to make you jealous or his answer for arguing is "Getting with someone else."

Posted

Him cheating on you once was bad enough, but twice? Why do you want to be put through that. If he cheated, even once, who's to say he won't do it again? Maybe you should just let him go, move on and find someone else who is willing to treat you better, MUCH better.

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