ThaWholigan Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I don't mean this as a shot at you, but no you wouldn't. Husbands in 20-year marriages still have no idea lol Just because a man is settled for doesn't mean he isn't loved or cared for. Nah, trust me. It would NEVER happen to me. I would rather be alone in case......
Leopard Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 A person's job is to be the best person they can be for themselves and the people in their life. I much prefer how my husband already knew he was a man and didn't need someone to dumb down for him to feel that way. Then you should consider yourself very lucky S4S. There are very few men like that in the world.
Woggle Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 No offense Leopard but being in a relationship like the one you have would be a nightmare for me. I don't think anybody should settle but I wish more women would realize just as men are not perfect they are not perfect either and that it is hypocritical to demand something you can't deliver yourself. 2
sally4sara Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Then you should consider yourself very lucky S4S. There are very few men like that in the world. Thank you. I think there are more of them than you see around you. Certainly more than LS would have one believing. Entire population > people who post on forums > people who post on LS > men who post on LS > over grown angry boys who post on LS = small but loud percentage of the population.
Leopard Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 No offense Leopard but being in a relationship like the one you have would be a nightmare for me. I don't think anybody should settle but I wish more women would realize just as men are not perfect they are not perfect either and that it is hypocritical to demand something you can't deliver yourself. None taken. You think it would be a nightmare because you can't imagine a bad sex life. But understand that what sex means to you isn't what it means to me. For two reasons. 1. You're male and 2. We view it differently. I think most people settle Woggle, to be sincerely honest. We dream up some fantasy of a man/woman and the truth is, it's just a fantasy and that person doesn't exist. Coming back to reality, we have to "lower" our standards when really "lowering" them simply means coming down from our fantasy and analyzing what is realistic. My fantasy of a man doesn't exist, but my boyfriend does. I love him, I care deeply for him and I am happy with him. I don't know why other people feel they need to judge me so much for it.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 There are times in our lives when we are mostly all about ourselves. During those times, it's probably a good idea to remain single. It's as it should be. OP - do you spend a great deal of time concerning yourself with other people and what you can do to improve their lot in life or just make them feel good? I doubt it. And you're single, too. Excuse me? Wasn't I bagging a young sexy broad not that long ago? And guess what else? She wants to link up again tonight for a fiesta. Other than that, I don't care about her. She tried unsuccessfully to play head games with me and when I didn't bite, she tried to get my attention again. So typical it isn't even funny.
Woggle Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Realizing that fantasies are not real does not equate to settling. 1
ThaWholigan Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 No offense Leopard but being in a relationship like the one you have would be a nightmare for me. Lot of guys wouldn't even clock, and live the illusion. Count yourself lucky you have a great wife I understand why people think it would happen to me too. I know it wouldn't, because I would never walk into a relationship so blind. I have trained myself to be an avid observant of people and their behaviors. Lot of guys don't think about this stuff. Hypothetically, I would KNOW my missus thought I was sexy, full stop. If I was in any doubt, I wouldn't be in a relationship with her. Simple.
phineas Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Lowering your standards below the top 10% when you aren't in that percentile yourself is not settling. It's being realistic. However, The same women who showed up in my emailed matches a yr ago & every week after I cancelled were still on there when I re-upped & are still single & checking into on a regular basis. I'm sorry but if their not able to find one guy to have a long term relationship with It isn't the available pool of men to blame. I just wish they would put a watermark on their profile in the shape of one of the Disney princess so I know not to waste my time crafting an email to them.
SteveC80 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Realizing that fantasies are not real does not equate to settling. Exactly,not dating Ryan Gosling doesnt equal settling Settling to me means being with someobdy you dont truly love or care for just to be with somebody,for a lot of people it means not being with a perfect 10 no wonder 51% of marriages these days go down the sh*tter
Leopard Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 What if that person does fall into the top 10% category? Most of the time they lower standards also because they can't find someone else in that top percentile category. If in the entire world there are only 10% of people like yourself, damn well that person will lower their standards. Out of 6 billion people what are the chances of finding someone else in that category? Very low.
Imajerk17 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) Just take a look my fellow men at this article that I cut and paste. As you guys can see, our female counterparts still wants her cake and to eat it too. This attitude, apparently, won't change. Ladies, let me know when you're ready to discuss what you need to do to impress your men so he'll want to continue seeing you, or I'll start looking through catalogs for that old maid rocking chair. Best first-date moves for men I chuckled when I got to the end of the article. The guy takes her out on the date and presumably pays, and if she isn't feeling it, then she doesn't feel any obligation to be straight with the guy. Wow. Sadly enough, I don't agree with you that these women will stay single though. This sort of behavior is accepted. I actually give them props for at least admitting that they do it. Edited July 9, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Excuse me? Wasn't I bagging a young sexy broad not that long ago? And guess what else? She wants to link up again tonight for a fiesta. Does "bagging" a "thing" mean that you are not all about yourself or that you are not single?? 3
phineas Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 What if that person does fall into the top 10% category? Most of the time they lower standards also because they can't find someone else in that top percentile category. If in the entire world there are only 10% of people like yourself, damn well that person will lower their standards. Out of 6 billion people what are the chances of finding someone else in that category? Very low. Most of the time women grossly overestimate how attractive they really are. 2
Green Light Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 This is why there are so many relationship problems. Women don't know how to be women. I don't mean this about sex or orgasms, but in general, they are just too "radically honest" and they base an entire relationship on that, when they don't realize it makes things worse. ^^^THIS is why I left my wife 5 months ago. She was the most "radically honest" person I've ever met. She wasn't when we first got together, in fact, she would say all the time that women don't know how to be women anymore, but as time went on she would voice her opinions more and more whether I[or anybody] wanted them or not. It got to the point where she was telling me everyday all the ways I was "wrong" as a person. One day I just snapped and packed up the car and left. Nobody should have to live with someone like that. She has no friends, she fights with her family, all because she is so brutally honest. Why do people feel the need to be this way?
SteveC80 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Most of the time women grossly overestimate how attractive they really are. So true,just beasue a hot guy will pump and dump you doesnt mean youre hot it means he was drunk and horny:laugh: Just because u posted your facebook pic and people said how beautiful u were doesnt mean anhyting,they were hjust trying to be nice:laugh:
El Brujo Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 To be fair there is a link to a similiar article from a man's point of view. We don't need a link for that. How do I know? If a guy who has his own ideas of beauty finds it in a woman who other men consider undesirable, he may have found love, but he'll be a laughingstock to the other men.
NYC-BigKat Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 I chuckled when I got to the end of the article. The guy takes her out on the date and presumably pays, and if she isn't feeling it, then she doesn't feel any obligation to be straight with the guy. Wow. Sadly enough, I don't agree with you that these women will stay single though. This sort of behavior is accepted. I actually give them props for at least admitting that they do it. Um..maybe I'm not really missing anything by being single alot? I just feel so horny alot & the nice weather & all the girlies are walking around with a big butt & big boobs & small waist. I just wanna enjoy them but maybe I'm better off not dating 'cause girls are crazy? What do u guys think?
dreamingoftigers Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 No offense Leopard but being in a relationship like the one you have would be a nightmare for me. I don't think anybody should settle but I wish more women would realize just as men are not perfect they are not perfect either and that it is hypocritical to demand something you can't deliver yourself. I agree and wish the converse situation as well. Some men need to seriously stop expecting the world and their self-esteem from us. Most people have a struggle building themselves up and forming their own identity in the world to try to give one to two people.
SJC2008 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Here is an excerpt from the article: Rachel: Confidence means someone who’s OK with himself entirely — his looks, his personality, and his background. If you’re confident, you’re talkative, and women like a man who can be a smooth talker. A date either has to be relaxed and confident, or he has to be good at faking it. Right because men aren't human like you and can't get nervous on dates ok. Right because youre ok with yourself etirely ok.
Romeofud Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Here is an excerpt from the article: Rachel: Confidence means someone who’s OK with himself entirely — his looks, his personality, and his background. If you’re confident, you’re talkative, and women like a man who can be a smooth talker. A date either has to be relaxed and confident, or he has to be good at faking it. Right because men aren't human like you and can't get nervous on dates ok. Right because youre ok with yourself etirely ok. Stop pissing man LOL. The chick is basically telling u what to do. Its like a cue card or some ****. Just eat it up, sweet talk her, smirk at her, & bada bing, u in!
mario_C Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 ^^^THIS is why I left my wife 5 months ago. She was the most "radically honest" person I've ever met. She wasn't when we first got together, in fact, she would say all the time that women don't know how to be women anymore, but as time went on she would voice her opinions more and more whether I[or anybody] wanted them or not. It got to the point where she was telling me everyday all the ways I was "wrong" as a person. One day I just snapped and packed up the car and left. Nobody should have to live with someone like that. She has no friends, she fights with her family, all because she is so brutally honest. Why do people feel the need to be this way? I'm sorry your marriage ended so badly. The operative word here is "brutally" - honesty is vital. Honesty is important. People bull**** themselves and those close to them every hour of every day, and it's why our lives are full of frustration and sadness. BUT, treating others fairly, speaking to each other civilly *looks accusingly around the forumsphere* having very basic manners and leadership instincts or social skills, is necessary. If only because you don't want everyone to think you're an *******, and more importantly, because you want people to respect your honesty and take your constructive criticism. Or not. What do I know, I'm one of those less than confident single guys you read so much about.
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