kthomas5 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 So this Sunday my ex got baptized at my church... His family was happy to see me. They sat by me during the service and everything. I had a emotional break down at the end of the baptism because I saw a female he says he's just friends with but keep assuming it's more. I'm not sure. After the service I cleared my act up and put on a smile. I told myself he can't see weakness! I approached him even though it was Day 8 of NC because I wanted congratulate him and had some belongs of his in my car. Before I could finish telling him to meet me at my car to get my things. He said, "Let's walk and talk". He asked me how I've been and I responded with a great big smile and a "Great!". He looked sad, he looked like all the energy had been drained out of his body. We had a little small talk and he said, " I was mad at you". I asked why and he said because I ignored him the previous week. I reminded him what I told him two Saturdays ago and he said he needed my help. I told him I needed my space to get my life together and time away from him was needed. He then said he missed his best friend and didn't want to lose me. He said with tears in his eyes that he loved me. I rubbed his back because I didn't know what to say. He looked at me expecting me to say it back. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He said but if you feel that way you can say it. I said it back but I think he realized that I'm trying to move on because he said, "Like I said when we first broke up I would like to build a solid foundation for a new and improved relationship." I told him OK and I suggested that he go back to his family because they were about to leave. I think he was expecting more but he said, "I would like us to start communicating again, text or call me sometimes." I told him the phone works both ways (I deleted his number when I started NC). After he left I spoke to my pastor and he said if my ex is willing he would counsel us for free. Not for a relationship but just a mediator to clear the air. We are or were best friends and we still have a lot in common. Hopefully if he accepts we can figure out what caused the break up and both of us can get closure. And hopefully we can build a strong relationship from there. I also have come to the decision I am ending NC. I'm not giving in because he gave me a little attention. I've decided that he texts or calls me and I feel as though I'm focusing on the new hobbies I've started to feel the void he left, I wont respond until I'm ready. I've also decided that I wont ask him if he'd go to counseling just yet because I want to make sure his gesture to make things work is in fact what I think it is, a gesture. I'm not sure if I want to wait for counseling. Any suggestions or comments???
Philosoraptor Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 If this is your path of choice then be smart about it. Don't let your hopes get too high unless you see something concrete as there is surely a lot of confusion left on his end, so jumping on something minor will likely get you hurt. No matter what the outcome I wish you the best. 1
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