Shaun-Dro Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Look, I'm getting sort of fed up with dating. I don't do well with online dating. Apparently I don't look great on paper because I have children. I mean, the emails I get are from men in their 50's and 60's. I'm assuming the children thing is the problem, because I'm attractive, educated, well-traveled, and successful in my career. The rest of my "dating resume" is stellar. Part of it may be my age - I seem to like younger men almost exclusively. I'm in fantastic shape and look like I'm in my 20's (I'm 37), so I get a lot of attention from young men. But most of them seem scared to death when I tell them I'm a single mom (we are talking three kids here 6, 10 and 14), and it's a bit hard to explain up front that you are not interested in living with someone, getting married anytime soon, or having anymore children. I get asked out by young guys all the time, but often I don't get past the 3rd date because they have all these assumptions about single mothers. Can't I just have fun? I don't want to perpetuate the cougar stereotype here, but why can't I just take a younger lover and explain that I would like a monogamous situation but I'm not out to make any promises long-term. Should I just put this on my match.com profile? It seems like everyone has their future mapped out and it follows this particular trajectory. I've done that - marriage, kids, etc. I just want a lover for me - someone to enjoy. Not a "Daddy" or a paycheck, just someone to have fun with. If we fall in love, we'll deal with it then - it doesn't mean we have to move in together and call a wedding planner. How do I navigate this? No guy wants to have a "talk" early on about expectations - it just feels way too heavy. There's no way you're in fantastic shape at 37 with 3 kids. You're clearly fooling yourself. That's why these younger men aren't into you, period.
brahmabull117 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 There's no way you're in fantastic shape at 37 with 3 kids. huh? I've seen a ton of women at my gym in their 30s in great shape with awesome bodies 1
InJest Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I'd say date #3 should be the latest. When I've dated women in your age bracket, or single moms, things usually happen fast. Like the first or second date. Single moms in particular seem to want to get down to business really early, I guess because they're so preoccupied with their kids? 1
Algermas Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I'd say date #3 should be the latest. When I've dated women in your age bracket, or single moms, things usually happen fast. Like the first or second date. Single moms in particular seem to want to get down to business really early, I guess because they're so preoccupied with their kids? That and a 10/10 19 year old can afford to keep men waiting longer. Who honestly wants to wait 12 dates for a single mother?
brahmabull117 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I'd say date #3 should be the latest. When I've dated women in your age bracket, or single moms, things usually happen fast. Like the first or second date. Single moms in particular seem to want to get down to business really early, I guess because they're so preoccupied with their kids? Are you in your early 20s brah? Where do you go to date these cougars? I love women in their 30s if they work out and are in good shape
Author waiting4u Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Lol, I have good genes and an excellent dermatologist.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 huh? I've seen a ton of women at my gym in their 30s in great shape with awesome bodies Yea, but you neglected to add on having multiple kids factor. That there changes the whole dynamic.
InJest Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 I'm 26. The older women I've dated, I've met at work and out at lounges(not bars, lounges makes them think they're classy or something) or in hotels. Hotels are a really good place, but I wasn't in them that often when I was single. I also met quite a few when I did OLD a couple years ago. Work is a good place, but somehow something ****ed up always happens.
Author waiting4u Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Lol I so wish I could post pics. Heidi Klum is older than me: Browse images: The Ten Most Buzzed-About Bikini Bodies On The Beach | Radar Online
brahmabull117 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Lol I so wish I could post pics. Heidi Klum is older than me: Browse images: The Ten Most Buzzed-About Bikini Bodies On The Beach | Radar Online Post pics of yourself, i'm very curious how you look
Algermas Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Lol I so wish I could post pics. Heidi Klum is older than me: Browse images: The Ten Most Buzzed-About Bikini Bodies On The Beach | Radar Online I'd post the remaining 98.92% of post childbirth 30 something women but I don't want to risk an obscenity moderation.
brahmabull117 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Why don't you want to date men your own age? So much for the myth that only men want to date younger. Cause she wants to date a guy who looks like this - http://joeredhead.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/fashion-luke-guldan1.jpg?w=490 And that's very hard to find in the 30+ category
rana-rana Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Look, I'm getting sort of fed up with dating. I don't do well with online dating. Apparently I don't look great on paper because I have children. I mean, the emails I get are from men in their 50's and 60's. I'm assuming the children thing is the problem, because I'm attractive, educated, well-traveled, and successful in my career. The rest of my "dating resume" is stellar. Part of it may be my age - I seem to like younger men almost exclusively. I'm in fantastic shape and look like I'm in my 20's (I'm 37), so I get a lot of attention from young men. But most of them seem scared to death when I tell them I'm a single mom (we are talking three kids here 6, 10 and 14), and it's a bit hard to explain up front that you are not interested in living with someone, getting married anytime soon, or having anymore children. I get asked out by young guys all the time, but often I don't get past the 3rd date because they have all these assumptions about single mothers. Can't I just have fun? I don't want to perpetuate the cougar stereotype here, but why can't I just take a younger lover and explain that I would like a monogamous situation but I'm not out to make any promises long-term. Should I just put this on my match.com profile? It seems like everyone has their future mapped out and it follows this particular trajectory. I've done that - marriage, kids, etc. I just want a lover for me - someone to enjoy. Not a "Daddy" or a paycheck, just someone to have fun with. If we fall in love, we'll deal with it then - it doesn't mean we have to move in together and call a wedding planner. How do I navigate this? No guy wants to have a "talk" early on about expectations - it just feels way too heavy. of course its the kids holding u back. what else did u think it was? anyways this older guy in his 40s came into my job and tried to hit on me with his daughter right there. i was like ewwww get lost. its better to not even bring up kids on your dates. ever heard of ONS? it might suit u better.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Can't I just have fun? I don't want to perpetuate the cougar stereotype here, but why can't I just take a younger lover and explain that I would like a monogamous situation but I'm not out to make any promises long-term. Should I just put this on my match.com profile? It seems like everyone has their future mapped out and it follows this particular trajectory. I've done that - marriage, kids, etc. I just want a lover for me - someone to enjoy. Not a "Daddy" or a paycheck, just someone to have fun with. If we fall in love, we'll deal with it then - it doesn't mean we have to move in together and call a wedding planner. Cross monogamy and "falling in love" off that list and you can have your fun. But really, you have a lot of gall to act "shocked" that your kids situation is making most men run for the hills. You should have thought about that when you were divorcing your hubby.
brahmabull117 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Waiting4u showed me her picture, she is really cute. Looks much younger Very nice
It's Just Me Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 So, maybe younger guys isn't the way to go at this point? I recall one of my hiking friends (he's 33) dating an older woman (around 45) with five kids. FIVE! He did say that once they got past the horny honeymoon phase, he realized that it would never work because A) he wanted kids of his own some day (she couldn't have any more) and B) the age difference always bugged him a bit. The relationship lasted 3 months, and there was a world of hurt all around when it ended. So, to give some of these younger guys "running for the hills" a bit of credit, maybe they're self-aware enough to feel the same, but ahead of time before anyone gets hurt?
sid3 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Waiting4u showed me her picture, she is really cute. Looks much younger Very nice That's nice, thanks for sharing. Aside from the fact that nobody cares, her attractiveness isn't the issue, let's stay on topic.
ohmygoshistalk Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 depends on what they are looking for, i know a lot of hot guys ages 23 to 28 who like women who have careers. they do care. they do not care LESS. in fact these guys have turned girls down who have no careers, ive made a thread about it before. brahmabull you sound like an awesome guy, you remind me of Hank in the tv show californication, you seem like you naturally like all women and thus women gravitate towards you. no comment to the other guy (meanie). 2
brahmabull117 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 brahmabull you sound like an awesome guy, you remind me of Hank in the tv show californication, you seem like you naturally like all women and thus women gravitate towards you. no comment to the other guy (meanie). Thank you, I love all women who look good and are genuinely nice In life, the better you treat people the better they will treat you 3
NXS Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 depends on what they are looking for, i know a lot of hot guys ages 23 to 28 who like women who have careers. they do care. they do not care LESS. in fact these guys have turned girls down who have no careers, ive made a thread about it before. brahmabull you sound like an awesome guy, you remind me of Hank in the tv show californication, you seem like you naturally like all women and thus women gravitate towards you. no comment to the other guy (meanie). Yeah brahmabull should go for it so, he can have a wonderful "relationship" with the OP where she puts him in a box during the week and takes him out at the weekend or other times when it suits her. He's not allowed to see other women though, nor make any kind of plans for the longterm. Sounds like a great deal, how could any guy complain? 1
brahmabull117 Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Yeah brahmabull should go for it so, he can have a wonderful "relationship" with the OP where she puts him in a box during the week and takes him out at the weekend or other times when it suits her. He's not allowed to see other women though, nor make any kind of plans for the longterm. Sounds like a great deal, how could any guy complain? 1)She lives in UK unfortunately, far away from me 2)I love this arrangement because I am not going to get married for a long time either. We would just have some fun for a while with no worries about the future and then I would date somebody around my age for marriage purposes when I'm maybe 30-35 (I'm 24 right now) 3)I don't mind only seeing her 2-3 times a week, that's actually perfect for me. I need time spent alone/with my bros
A O Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Can't I just have fun? I don't want to perpetuate the cougar stereotype here, but why can't I just take a younger lover and explain that I would like a monogamous situation but I'm not out to make any promises long-term. That'll go down a treat if said in the sack. You appear to offer a compelling package especially to young folk. Can only guess that sex or the prospect of sex isn't garnering enough attention. Young men are keen enough about almost anything providing the prospect of sex is on the horizon. 1
Affliction Shirt Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 hide your kids. If you're just looking for fun, just walk up to any random guy with a tapout or affliction shirt. Free **** is cool, we won't turn you down. We'll expect you to pay for gas though if you want to go somewhere first.
fucpcg Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 So basically you want to take a young man and inject him into an adult situation that he isn't ready to deal with, nor should he be. Do you remember how differently life appeardd to you at that age? But who cares right? You're a hot piece of ass, he's a lucky stud for getting you, and it suits your needs, as far as your selfish motives are concerned. Yea I'm hot for my age 42, still a bodybuilder, and had been recruited somewhat by modeling agencies, and probably could have really went somewhere had I only bee about 3 inches taller. So, what, that gives me the free pass to put a 21 year old girl into an adult situation she's not equipped to handle? And if some guy my age tried to have a sex only relationship with my 25 year old niece, he'd get to see my ghetto side quick, fast, and in a hurry, and I am sure he'd never call my niece again. You are divorced in your late 30's, with kids, it's a challenge I get it. I've crossed the 40 mark some time ago, I don't have many prospects near my age group that are attractive. For that reason though, I don't plan to throw away my maturity just to nail some young girl, or take the chance of her getting hurt and confused over a scenario she never experienced before just because I may have mentioned up front I didn't want anything more form her but she wasn't "wise to the world" enough to know the risks and possibilities. I don't see much difference in a 30 year old teacher chasing a 17 year old student, than I do a 37 year old woman chasing a 21 year old boy. Sure one is legal, but both just aren't right. But hey, if it suits you.... knock yourself out. What the hell do I know.
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