RiverRunning Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Depends. Is he the type who is always mentioning how good-looking he is, how women are all over him, how if I make any kind of mistake, he'll dump me or cheat on me? Those types exist. He's a goner. I admit it would take me longer to warm up to a really hot guy. Then again, my tastes in what's 'really hot' are not as conventional. But if we're speaking just conventionally, it would be a while longer before I'd date him. I do admit my first thoughts would be: He has too many opportunities, so he'll be tempted, even if he is an otherwise decent guy. He could/probably would eventually want a better-looking woman, if even only because of societal pressure.
Jimbo143 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Depends. Is he the type who is always mentioning how good-looking he is, how women are all over him, how if I make any kind of mistake, he'll dump me or cheat on me? Those types exist. He's a goner. I admit it would take me longer to warm up to a really hot guy. Then again, my tastes in what's 'really hot' are not as conventional. But if we're speaking just conventionally, it would be a while longer before I'd date him. I do admit my first thoughts would be: He has too many opportunities, so he'll be tempted, even if he is an otherwise decent guy. He could/probably would eventually want a better-looking woman, if even only because of societal pressure. I seriously feel like this just happened to me recently and it sucks because ya i have dated multiple women. Girls ask u so many damn personal questions on a first date it is ridiculous... I dont want to lie when I feel strongly for the girl because no relationship should start on lies. Just because a guy has options doesnt mean he will act on all of them. Some girls dont even realize how beautiful they are. This particular girl i took out recently was just his type and it pisses me off. The date was so awesome and we connected. Ive been on enough dates to realize when a date is hitting on all cylinders! Then she up and texts me the next day saying no "spark". Bull***** lie i say. She is guarded.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 YES! I have done this in the past and would do it in the future. If I feel there is high probability that I will get hurt, I run in other direction.... It's not just fear of getting hurt, those men make me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. I don't look forward to spending time with them because I can't relax. Who wants that?
Author truth_seeker Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 I seriously feel like this just happened to me recently and it sucks because ya i have dated multiple women. Girls ask u so many damn personal questions on a first date it is ridiculous... I dont want to lie when I feel strongly for the girl because no relationship should start on lies. Just because a guy has options doesnt mean he will act on all of them. Some girls dont even realize how beautiful they are. This particular girl i took out recently was just his type and it pisses me off. The date was so awesome and we connected. Ive been on enough dates to realize when a date is hitting on all cylinders! Then she up and texts me the next day saying no "spark". Bull***** lie i say. She is guarded. Oh, man! This happened to me, too! Mine made it a point to talk herself up. I could tell she was insecure and possibly intimidated. One minute flirtatious, the next defensive. Back and forth.
Emilia Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Oh, man! This happened to me, too! Mine made it a point to talk herself up. I could tell she was insecure and possibly intimidated. One minute flirtatious, the next defensive. Back and forth. Guys do the same. They usually want to know how many male friends I have and I keep quiet about my finances until I know them better because they are intimated by that too sometimes
Leigh 87 Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 I would not rule out a good looking man, if they were into me. I would not discount that he could be into me, just because he is good looking. However, I tend to prefer average looking men, who then become insanely hot to me when I fall in love with them. Realistically, I am not that beautiful to many men myself, and I would rather have a guy around my own level of attractiveness. There are a lot of great girls who are hot; so why would a very hot guy initiall go for ME, when there are a lot of better looking girls who want him, who are ALSO great girls? If a hot guy talks to me and comes to like me a lot, which has happened, I would totally go out with them. It is possible for a bette rlooking person to fall for a more average looking person. I would not feel like I was not good enough. If they like me they like me. I think most people tend to be more comfortable with a women or man who is around their own level of attractivness. Both my partner and I can get hot people, and have done; yet for the most part, we do not have hot people knocking down our door to be with us, where as super couples would have to deal with a lot of competition. I would not want very hot girls regularly cracking onto my good looking boyfriend. There are more than one person out there for us, and it is mroe likely a better looking person will come across one, seeing as more people approach them.
filani Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I would not rule out a good looking man, if they were into me. I would not discount that he could be into me, just because he is good looking. However, I tend to prefer average looking men, who then become insanely hot to me when I fall in love with them. Realistically, I am not that beautiful to many men myself, and I would rather have a guy around my own level of attractiveness. There are a lot of great girls who are hot; so why would a very hot guy initiall go for ME, when there are a lot of better looking girls who want him, who are ALSO great girls? If a hot guy talks to me and comes to like me a lot, which has happened, I would totally go out with them. It is possible for a bette rlooking person to fall for a more average looking person. I would not feel like I was not good enough. If they like me they like me. I think most people tend to be more comfortable with a women or man who is around their own level of attractivness. Both my partner and I can get hot people, and have done; yet for the most part, we do not have hot people knocking down our door to be with us, where as super couples would have to deal with a lot of competition. I would not want very hot girls regularly cracking onto my good looking boyfriend. There are more than one person out there for us, and it is mroe likely a better looking person will come across one, seeing as more people approach them. @ leigh This is so funny to me ,what you said about not wanting random girls hitting on your BF bcos he's hot. Guys deal with that kind of stuff when dating attractive or even average women ALL THE TIME ! But I agree with you in that I also tend to avoid 'hot girls' and I don't do entitled princesses either .give me a plain jane who is healthy, fit , carries her end of a relationship and treats me right any day .
USMCHokie Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I was guilty of what you describe in the OP when I was younger. It was not so much an issue of being afraid of getting hurt, it was more that it was completely unthinkable to me that he would pay me any serious attention. So how did this change as you got older...? Was it because men of that kind actually did start to pay you serious attention...? Sorry, this was just a shameless plug at validating my confidence comes from external feedback theory...
zengirl Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 When I was insecure, it wasn't really about looks, so I've never experienced that per se. However, back when I was in flux with my career and single and insecure about my previously ambitious and fast-tracked career being over (my choice, but still) and my new one not yet fully beginning, when I had just started teaching, I definitely experienced some insecurity with career. Not really money, but the BF I had at the time had just finished a rough spell and had a business that was REALLY taking off - he changed and became more materialistic too, which didn't help but some of the friction caused between us was my insecurity. I think if someone pushes your 'hot button' in that way and makes you feel insecure, it's fairly natural to want to retreat; if you weren't already involved with them, I could see how it would make someone avoid it. You might even lose the attraction if your defense mechanisms were strong enough.
Leigh 87 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 @ leigh This is so funny to me ,what you said about not wanting random girls hitting on your BF bcos he's hot. Guys deal with that kind of stuff when dating attractive or even average women ALL THE TIME ! But I agree with you in that I also tend to avoid 'hot girls' and I don't do entitled princesses either .give me a plain jane who is healthy, fit , carries her end of a relationship and treats me right any day . But a " plane jane" can still be very fit, not have offensive facial features, and actually become very attractive to you. To me, if your " average" looking, but eat clean and know how to work out and how much to eat - that results in a good version of your body..... Then any average girl would become sexy once you fell for them.... I do not mind flirting, it is the fact that the more attractive you are, the more likely you are to run into other suitable mates, who you may fall for if your in a situation where your forced together.
RedRobin Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I've been tempted to, but no... I don't think I actually have. While it has taken me awhile to learn what traits and actions come from a man with good character, I'm pretty good at seeing past the surface (whatever form that surface comes in).... and trust that the man for me can do the same when he meets me.
It's Just Me Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 In my later years, I always avoided conventionally good-looking men, after having learned that they generally sucked in the sack.
It's Just Me Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I've never even heard of such thing. What a creative defense mechanism for someone who can't get studs. Never heard of this one before. DID get studs. You need to get out more. And they sucked in the sack. Not a fan. I think I've already said that.
It's Just Me Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I answered the thread question with my personal experience. Whether you liked the answer or not is immaterial to me.
Emilia Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 In my later years' date=' I always avoided conventionally good-looking men, after having learned that they generally sucked in the sack.[/quote'] Sorry but this is nonsense. Perhaps those do that have nothing else but looks but there are plenty of good looking guys who have emotional depth as well.
AD1980 Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 I say all women should stay away from good looking guys theyre all horrible people!! Plus it gives us unattractive men a fighting chance:laugh:
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