Sugarkane Posted July 26, 2012 Posted July 26, 2012 isn't it something like putting an ex into pedestal? because I do this too, I sometimes forget the bad and then I am in love again, so I believe if I met my ex and talked to him I would come down to earth again Yea I think it is. Too many times people on here only think of the good, when they've been treated like garbage. I noticed this with a friend of mine.
Author Coffee20 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 wow the stupid love feeling got worse, it seems to me that I miss him like crazy now, I really need to get out of this I hate being in love, I hope I will never be in love again, I will rather live alone then to suffer like this :/
Mr Scorpio Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 If she treated you terribly than I doubt she was really that likeable or smart. Smart in the sense that she graduated with a 3.9 from a top-grad program, got A+'s in advanced calculus, etc. Likeable in the sense that she is (normally) very-kind, generous, and outgoing. Instead of pursuing a career where she could have made a lot of money, she works with kids in a poor public school system where she isn't elligble for raises. That sort of thing.
kindest Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I sincerely loved my ex when we were together, and that kind of love is not that easy to push aside. I still love him, and will love him for the person that he is. I will never forget the way he treated me with love and respect. He ended up breaking my heart, but that doesn't negate the 'good' that I saw in him. It is still in him, he just doesn't show me that good side anymore. As far as being in love with him, I don't know. I cannot be in love with someone who is not in love with me. So I think my mind is telling me not to be in love with him, and because my heart is trying its hardest to follow, I am slowly relieving myself of these feelings. I just hope I become successful at this.
Steadfast Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 IMO, it's a waste of time to suppress what's in your heart. Love, by nature, is strengthened by trials, so doesn't it stand to reason it's resistant to change? I'm four years out of a 16-year marriage. I really loved her...and say that 'past tense' because while I'm not in love anymore, what remains will probably stay for the rest of my life. And yes; she did all the bad things. Including hurting our kids with her actions. If I had the chance to go back...I wouldn't, even though at one time I wanted that more than anything. I had a date last night, a romantic dinner and a great time after. I love this woman; she beautiful (on TV even!) and I do not want to see anyone else. She loves me and feels the same. Early in the morning Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called" came on the radio and woke me out of a sound sleep. After all this time, I again relived what was lost. Like waking from a nightmare and realizing reality is worse. That wasn't even 'our song' but it wrecked me. It took me the better part of the morning to shake it off. The good news? That kind of thing happens rarely anymore, yet, sometimes...the heart feels what it feels. My head reminded it that we did all we could. That's life.
reimeivn Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I think you will. The love will stay, but the person will be gone from your life. Even if he stays, he is still a different person anyways. You are mean to find somebody who you love even more, and he will stay the one you love for a looong time, that I know for sure though.
Riss87 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I also posted this in another thread. I found this article in the paper helped me out a little. "How do I get over my ex" Getting over a break up can take a really long time. Regret can be paralysing as it prevents you from moving forward and tempts you to look backwards and feel bad. The key lies in two words: letting go. Break ups are about letting go and moving on. But you are stuck wanting to reconnect with your ex, perhaps in order to be forgiven for things that you said, or perhaps because you want to stay attached. You are experiencing a slow, enduring agony by maintaining an emotional attachment to your ex. It may feel too hard to make a clean break but it will be over quicker and then truly heal and allow yourself to move on, first to being happily single and then into a new healthier relationship. Dont think that far ahead though, now is the time to forgive yourself. You dont need to reconnect with your ex, especially if reconcilliation is out of the question. You need to let go in your own mind. Write down everything you're grateful for as a result of the relationship and everything you have learned, and project your thoughts forward by writing down what your ideal relationship and partner would be. If you still feel you need forgiveness from your ex, write her a letter. Make it a goodbye letter and take the high road. Dont be sour; express regret for what you said in the heat of the split and wish her well. Do not expect a response and do not send it in the hope of receiving one. Write it with the idea of letting them go and you actually might do it. It might feel awful at first but in the end will feel better than feeling as you do now for another 2-12months... Gabrielle Morrissey Maybe it will enlighten you a little too
Author Coffee20 Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 I decided I will write a long letter about everything that happened in our relationship. But because he doesn't give a * about me then I won't send it, but hide it my favorite place. I think it could help me. I will hide it somewhere where noone would search. I don't need his forgiveness because there is nothing I did to hurt him or to put him down.
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