TooHonest123 Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 we had broken up a month ago...but we were still a couple, sleeping together, laughing and crying together, we were aparently ment for eachother...she cut me off after her classes ended since i was helping her with a math course. It hit me out of nowhere and was unexpected. Soon i come to find out she had been seeing a guy for a month and a half and the day she cut me off was the day she slept with him. And left me for him... This guy is the complete oposite of me...tall , muscular, doesnt go to school, has an ok job, deals weed and cocaine, likes to drink, his last exgirlfriendended with alcohol problems and this guy even has a court record for breaking and entering. I am a good guy with morals, i work , pay my rent, go to school full time as an engineering major, my family loved her. I would wait for her outside of work with chocolate, clean her car in the snow, leave her notes on her car, protected her from drugs and helped her with homework... The main reason we broke up was because of her family...we had a secret relationship thatput many many restrictions on us. She always had to be home at a certain time, wenever spent one night together. And she never introduced me to her family because i was hispanic. This new boyfriend of hers is from her same country. My self esteem was initially low through out the relationship but once this happend it multipliedtimesten,i had lost most of my friends for compromises in the relationship, rejected a research oportunity in virginia tech so that i could spend my summer with her. And did not have a family to go to since i am a very distant person. I entered a severe depression and was suicidal, my life started crumbuling down as i saw myself sitting countless hours in a four wall bedroom thinking about the woman i love sleeping with her new love. Life seems to be falling apart, yesterday i got my schools financial aid package and i need to take out a 30k privateloan, which i got rejected for today. I am trying to stay strong, somedaysi feel optimistic , somedays i feel very anxious and stressed. Even after this happend i stillwant her back, she might never return...but i plan on continuing my career and life. This has been the toughest challenge in my 22 years of existance. After every storm there is always a rainbow , i am going to be a much better and stronger person after all this is over. I hope by the time she opens her eyes is not too late... I want to meet somone who is willing to loveme asmuch asi love them , accepts me for who i am, is not ashamed of me, and makes me feel appreciated.
Philosoraptor Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Losing someone is never easy. You seemed to care much more than she did. Realize that in this case you're actually the big winner. You were given the gift of not wasting any more time with someone who is capipable of dropping you for someone else. She lost a devoted person who truly cared about her. 3
Author TooHonest123 Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Thank you, I am afraid that i pushed her away even more,its almost two months since she cut me out of her life completely for this new guy. I havent givrn her the space since i cant go 5 days without texting or attempting to call, she has rejected me 100%, i really wish she would come back as a more mature person willing to start over. Or maybe i am just in denial..i have no more energy to fight for Her...idk... I was driving home yesterday and i saw her drive by me. She gave me a look of hate and disgust that i will never forget.
LoverOfDance Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Thank you, I am afraid that i pushed her away even more,its almost two months since she cut me out of her life completely for this new guy. I havent givrn her the space since i cant go 5 days without texting or attempting to call, she has rejected me 100%, i really wish she would come back as a more mature person willing to start over. Or maybe i am just in denial..i have no more energy to fight for Her...idk... I was driving home yesterday and i saw her drive by me. She gave me a look of hate and disgust that i will never forget. This girl doesn't deserve you at all. I really don't understand why she would treat you like that if you didn't do anything bad to her. According to your story, you seem to have been a really good boyfriend to her. I remember I used to like a boy in grade 7. I really liked him but when he started making fun of me and treating me really badly, my feelings for him gradually fizzled out. Don't hold on to someone who doesn't appreciate you or treat you like u deserve to be treated. If u allow yourself 2 really feel the coldness coming from her, the warm feelings u have 4 her will turn cold as well. Allow yourself to naturally mourn the relationship and then move on with your life. You deserve better and I'm sure you'll find someone a million times better than her one day. Stay strong and don't contact her anymore. You're better off without her, trust me.
Author TooHonest123 Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) She had to be home by 8pm every night. Only ocationally she could stay untill 11 or 1 am on a friday. She did not like me to hang out with my friends and was very selfish. The biggest argument we had was last year around new years . she asked me to hang out from 6 to 10pm but my friends were leaving the city because classes finished. She said she would not grab dinner with me and my friends so i said. I will hang out with you until 9 then ill grab dinner with them. She flipped out of me and decided to spend the evening with one of her friends. I was very mad for her being selfish. She ended up saying she wanted to break with me because i chose my friends over her. I got very mad over this because she always threatened with with a break up. I left with my friends to new york for the holidays . I was fed up. When things calmed down we continued into what was my initial post. She is so immature...now thst i look back and reflect on our relationship i see more and more signs of how her personality/life at home, affected our relationship. These are things i dont believe she sees. Nor was she this way at the bgining of the relationship. I dont even kniw if i can consider her new boyfriend a rebohnd. I want the old her back...to a time where we would both stare into eachothers eyes in bed and cry of joy of being in Love. I am a good guy and great boyfriend, why did this have to happend to me. I miss her so much... Edited July 9, 2012 by TooHonest123 missed info
LoverOfDance Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 It's funny because normally, it's the guy who's being the immature one but in your case, it's the other way around. Yeah, I think her wanting all the attention and not letting you hang out with your friends even though she knew why u needed to be with them 4 that night, was quite selfish of her. Her anger is not even justified at all since u decided 2 spend half of the evening with her and the rest with your friends. Please just 4get about her. People like this can really drain all your energy with their issues. Don't waste your time on her. She's too much drama.
Author TooHonest123 Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 I just booked a plane ticket to go visit my family down in Colombia... I guess is time to work on myself and get back in contact with the people that raised me. While i am there i am going to get the lasic surgery... Leaving in two weeks. I need time away from everything that has been happening to me. Clear my mind, improve myself, and prepare for next semester...hopefully this will help me... Havent seen my family in7 years... This relationship has somehow made me loose hope in finding love again. But i know that is irrational thinking... I would love to keep my heart open , but that will take a long time. Thank so much for replying to my post
Author TooHonest123 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Posted July 12, 2012 I need to vent out...i have a horrible tendency to keep searching for more information....today i went on my friends facebook and found pictures of my ex with her new boyfriend. They look so happy and inlove, the pictures were taken a month and a half ago...just three weeks before that she was sleeping with me telling me that she loved me...i am very very very nostalgic and mad....i need to stop hurting myself. Why do i want this girl back? After what she put me through....God plesase stop my pain, take her away from my heart, i dont want to ****ing love her anymore. the pain is too much, specially when i see them kissing in that picture.
Hindsight_is_20_20 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I just wanted to say that you're not alone. I'm at work almost in tears and it's been about 5-6 weeks since the BU. I think if we loved ourselves more this wouldn't hurt so much? My ex didn't deserve me, and some days I feel a glimpse of being okay, only to later come full circle to me balling my eyes out again. I don't know the answers but if it's any help, I'm right there with you in how you feel. 1
headonstraight Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 I just wanted to say that you're not alone. I'm at work almost in tears and it's been about 5-6 weeks since the BU. I think if we loved ourselves more this wouldn't hurt so much? My ex didn't deserve me, and some days I feel a glimpse of being okay, only to later come full circle to me balling my eyes out again. I don't know the answers but if it's any help, I'm right there with you in how you feel. You can add me to this camp too. After mine dumped me, she started dating a guy within a few days. I imagine they were in contact while she and I were together. I can now confidently say she never deserved me, and I take this as my closure. Is it difficult to cope/do I sometimes miss her? Sure. But she had her chance and what goes around comes around. She lost someone she'll never find again. That comforts me 1
Author TooHonest123 Posted July 13, 2012 Author Posted July 13, 2012 (edited) I have been crying all day...i feel as though i am back to square one, ..one thing is letting your imagination loose, another is seeing them together for yourself ...it is extremely extremely painful... Sometimes i feel i can`t stand the pain. Why did i deserve to go through this? I hope i meet somebody that is willing to love me as much as I Love them. I am tired of being rejected, i am sick of being ignored, all i want is a good companion who will appreciate me for who i am, and love me no matter how physically unattractive i am. Is that too much to ask. She was way too imature for me, too controling , to possesive , extremely jealous, selfish, has horrible friends... I am sick and tired of this BS... I should have broken up with her long time ago... Why did i prolong a painful relationship that was destined to fail because of the way she treated me? Maybe because she was the first to lay eyes on me? She was gorgeous...but true beauty lies within...i wish i could go up to her face and tell her a big **** You for putting me through this, but i am to respectful and too much of a gentleman to ever treat a woman like that.... Time to tell the real story of the relationship.... I need to tell what really went on and stop putting an irrational front. I was raised in a family where i saw my mother suffer from my cheating father, he used to physically abuse her. Growing up my parents left to the US and i was left with grandparents (mothers side) ...they loved me ...but my grandmother held a grudge against me because i reminded her of my father. every time she hit me i could see the fire and anger in her eyes. Due to my childhood i have looked at cheating men as cowards....repulsive people who have no care for their relationship. Same goes for men or women who are physically abusive towards their partner... Fast forward to my relationship...now living in the US and attending college . I met a beautiful girl...one month into the relationship she showed he true side...controling, selfish, had anger problems....what did i get myself into? I was the role model boyfriend....four months into tge relationship she punched me in the face for a very very minor argument... I was bleeding ... I almost broke up with her...she was crying saying that she could not believe what she had done....this was an extremely trautamic experience for me...because of my childhood I should have ended the relationship right there...at that point i was done...did not love her..... This experience was so traumatic That my mind erased it as a defense mechanism...and i actualky remmembered this event yesterday...after a year and a half...i know it sounds ridiculius but i actually remmember it yesterday.. I forgave her..... But things just were not the same...i had lost love for her...and even then she continued to be the same way towards me... Although she never hit me again. I am so mad at myself for not ending it right there. Two months later i cheated on her by kissing another woman. I told her what had happend ...crying my eyes out... Saying sorry...i never thought i would find myself in a situation my father was once in. Making my poor mother suffer...my girlfriend forgave me...but i feel it was out of guilt because she had previously hit me. Looking at it from a phsycological point of view... this was my way of either 1) trying to end the relationship... Or 2) sending out a message that if she did not take of me someone else would. She forgave me...but her behavior worsenned. We lasted a year after that. i was fed up with how she treated me...near december she asked me to hang out from 6pm to 10 pm... I agreed....later on my friends invited me for dinner...they were leaving the city for the holydays since it was the end of the semester...it was a very inportant dinner...i asked my girlfrined to please come with me and she said no...so i told her that i would hang out with her until 9 then grab dinner with friends...she then broke up with me because apparently i chose my friends over her. I had had it with her....i left for the holydays with my friends...when i got back...she said sorry...she then procceded to keep me around until she found someone else...the same day she slept with him was the same day she officially left me...up until the last day we slept together, laughed and cried together, said she loved me...and then did that? I was the perfect boyfriend...my only regret was that i cheated on her... I should have ended everything when she hit me...i fell inlove with someone who clearly didnt love me. The relationship was done long long ago. I treated her perfect...my only regret was not ending the relationship earlier...i am sad i ended up cheating on her. up until the last day i would help her out with HW, leave her love notes, wait for her outside of work with hot chocolate, i listened to her problems, reminded her how beautiful she was everyday... She left me for my complete oposite...a guy who deals drugs, is tall and muscular,doesnt go to school...he has a court record for breaking and entering...i still love this woman even after she treated me like complete ****...am i a masochist? i am so happy i let this story out. It is amazingly ridiculous how my brain erased the memory of her hitting me...and i just remmembered yestarday...i was crying of joy that i remmembered this event...because now all the pieces fall into place....i felt extreme joy.....i didnt feel like i was the evil person anymore. All the pieces fell together as to why i cheated, and why the relationship ended...my eyes are open now. If she didnt not give ne the gift of being single i would have never figured these issues out. But her? She is going to carry her baggage into the new relarionship...i wish me and her could have worked things out. after finally solving this puzzle i felt amazing...today in the morning i woke up without feeling anxious,depressed,and stressed...but then...i saw the pictures on facebook...refer to my last post Edited July 13, 2012 by TooHonest123
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