magneet Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Hi all I posted a short while ago To recap everything in one paragraph. 3 year relationship, lovely girl, good morals and values, very supportive. bad habits. no spark, no attraction, no kissing, no sex (maybe once a month a quickie just so that i will shut up), she didnt enjoy my friends nor my habits. but as mentioned she helped me through a lot. i moved overseas - 9 months here now. we broke up. still loads of contact. she came to visit me and did a euro road trip. i thought we would get back together - but nope, she still wants to be single and see what happens at the end of the year when i get back home (south africa). she is 26, me 27 (im german heritage and she from englisch) problem is - i broke up with her as i could not stand being in a loveless, sexless and emotional unsupportive relationship. like a fellow commenter once said, "it sounds as if i was dating my room mate", a friend. after she left i had the realization that its over, that she is out of my life. that she is gone. i cried for two weeks straight, stayed in bed and drank a lot. all good - i realized its better without her, that i can go on. then every couple of days she texts me. randomly. not saying much or anything of importance. IT REALLY REALLY MESSES WITH ME. every second day she uploads pics from the trip. the fool i am i do reply, as i thought im strong enough - then she texts back a few hours later. sometimes sweet, sometimes not. now im thinking constantly of her... and i really dont want to. PS: one more thing - she moved to a new city, from cape town to pretoria. she is trying to make friends there, met guys and girls. then photos are posted of her and guys and **** me - that is driving me nuts. real jealous. am i allowed to feel like that? why am i feeling like that? the relationship was really really not great, but she was a good girl and i alwys thought it could be great in the future. that is why i am trying to get her back. because of what i think the relationship can be like. yet, now she doesnt want me. im jealous. and upset it. why do i keep on holding on to her? why am i so silly? please help lastly, I am in a new country - i dont really have any good friends, i do have some family, that i visit once a month or so. the friends that i do have i cant talk to them about that kind of stuff. In addition to that i really dislike germany. i know the combination of stuff does not help the cause - and hence im really confused...
Philosoraptor Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 It sounds like you know better but are still attached. Want to kill those negative feelings? Block her number and delete any way you can keep track of her. In this case out of sight will help you get it out of your mind. 1
Author magneet Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 oops - i meant to say, after she visited me in europe and we did a euro road trip, then i realized it was over - as i thought we would get back together, and that when i stayed in bed for two weeks, etc
youdunsay Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Perhaps she's a traditionalist like me. If you cannot accept no sex before marriage may be you still can stay friends with her?
Author magneet Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 It sounds like you know better but are still attached. Want to kill those negative feelings? Block her number and delete any way you can keep track of her. In this case out of sight will help you get it out of your mind. yes philosraptor, i just thought that was not necessary - i really thought i would be strong enough to handle this the way it is. clearly not...
Philosoraptor Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 It's quite hard to move on and still stay in contact. Sadly we often must cut any hope in order to start moving on. 1
Author magneet Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Perhaps she's a traditionalist like me. If you cannot accept no sex before marriage may be you still can stay friends with her? hi youdunsay, she always had that mindset, she was a virgin when we got together. the thing is i really thought i would get married to her one day - i think thats why im struggling. right now i would like to stay in contact, its just that i cant get over her when we are in touch. i have hope, and then suffer the whole time. either way - i know she wont have sex again until she is married, whomever that might be.
Author magneet Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 It's quite hard to move on and still stay in contact. Sadly we often must cut any hope in order to start moving on. thanks... deep down i know it. but i think i dont want to accept it. i really thought i was strong enough, as i said. the harsh truth of moving on that is the kind of stuff one must hear - and everytime one forgets that one should be reminded of that
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