youdunsay Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 We broke up. Everyone on FB saw the picture of him with the other girl. And that marks the day I've given up hope on him. He was worked very closely with this girl before we started dating secretly. She changed a lot for him by putting on make-up, wearing dresses, mixing around and drinking with his friends. Not that I don't put on dress but I didn't put on make-up. Then again, I realized he never introduce his friends to me. He always wanted to keep our relationship a secret so much so that I'm immuned to it. He never want to hang outside. He only wanted intimacy. I'm a traditionalist. I can accept intimacy but not sex before marriage. I cooked for him. That was our love. He praised me for being creative. Yet I saw the girl posting a comment of that dish. Does that mean when I was away he cooked for her instead? They openly hang out, buy breakfast, went overseas together. The next day when I've decided to give up on him, I caught them going to work together in the morning. Him wearing the same shirt the day before. My heart was totally torn. And that girl, she always throw a victorious look at me. Is she really kind at heart? I know I shouldn't say anything negative if I hope this relationship carries on. But I see there's no future to us. Am I really that ugly? If so then why would he have court me when there are other guys around? Have I not been good enough for him? I share so much knowledge I know of to him, why did he behave that way? He's a Leo. People said Leos are loyal. Has it really got to do with horoscope?
tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 hey.. m new here too.. ndwe share somethng similar.. my gf was cheating on me... we broke up a week ago... i loved her like hell, we would always talk about getting married.. she was my life, so you can imagine what m going through.. but you'v done rite by posting here... your not alone in this... firstly get this stupid excuse out of your head dat you are ugly.. you are a girl not an alien i right? so that should be enuf if he really loved you.. your not ugly.. and lets face the fact if he was so secretive about the relationship it was his intention not to go ahead with it for much longer... horoscope doesnt do anything either... by the things you just said you were really dedicated towards him.. if he doesnt appreciate that.. then god knows wots he gonna appreciate... be glad thius got over soon enuf... or else this would have been much harder... nd trust me the world is full of rocking guys... and one of them is for you.
Author youdunsay Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 thanks tushar. Is it true that girl must be bitchy so that the guy will want you? Is it that we must be more strategize in order to get the guy? Mix with his friends first etc? Is it that we must always be the center of attention of the guys in order to validate our love? Can he not feel how much I like him how well I have treated him?
Snakechammah Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 Darling, whoever told you that Leos are loyal were lying. They are not. Most of them. No starsigns can guarantee loyalty. It's embedded in the person itself. I'd say cut your losses and move on. If you are interested about astrology, then I'd say your relationship had Venus in the 12th House - meaning, it will always be a secret relationship. Hard to explain, some relationships are like that. One or the other does not want the world to know about the relationship. Anywho, I hope you can move on and find someone else who would put your love to public knowledge. Clearly this dude's in love with the new girl, you'd probably never stood a chance. There are other fishes in the sea, I'm sure you'll find his replacement. Work on your own independence and happiness and someway somehow some dude will come round. When one door closes another one ALWAYS opens, GOOD LUCK!!
tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 my pleasure... and thats all basically myth.. if he wants to love you.. he will love no matter what.. and the point regarding being the centre of attention of guys.. nly helps while attracting one of them towards you.. the main thing you must focus now is on moving on... the words youl find very common on this forum are words like - strong, move on and phylosophy of NC(no contact).. try to bring all these into the picture.. world isnt short of good guys... (though i think it is definitely short of good girls, considering my experience.. no offence there). be strong.. and the only way to move on is to go NC on him... its tough.. i cant controll myself from contacting her... but thats wots best. after some time he will realise wot he has lost.. trust some day he will.. and then it'l be upto you to take a decision...
Author youdunsay Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 after some time he will realise wot he has lost.. trust some day he will.. and then it'l be upto you to take a decision... That's what my best friend said too! she also went through a tough heartbreak last year but she said I will soon get over. Sometimes I feel that I'm so weak that I cannot give emotional support to my friends and rather they helped me through this tough ride.. I have no idea why. Seems that guys really love girls who are not so good to them.
tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 yess... but that expectation of realisation is something that will hurt much more than even now if he doesnt realise... you shoudnt give a crocodiles ass about his realisation... you are a grown woman... you should just move on... grab your best freind for a movie or something have fun.. have something to do... its really shocking m explaining this to you wen i my self gone through a rough break up.. i too did everything for her.. my aim was to just make her more happy.. and she was.. she loved me too... but **** happens.. doesnt it? i being a guy still cry a bit at night. no shame in admitting.. dats how much i loved her.. but you gotta let it all go.. dnt wait for his realisation.. get over it.. and remember... follow NC. it'l hurt.. but then it'l help too,..
Samilia Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) One of my first thoughts when I read your post was.. wtf.. So on one side we have you: kind hearted, probably abiding to anything he wants, you cook for him, you probably give him sexual favors even if you don't sleep with him, and you are kept a secret. On the other side we have her: their relationship is public, she knows his friends, go out with him, laugh and their lovy dovy relationship is plastered all over facebook. First I would like to apologize about what I am going to say, I try and stay kind but I am however pretty blunt about my thoughts. My friend you weren't in a relationship, he used you. I don't care if your friend feeds you with the thoughts of a revenge "he'll realize what he's lost", he won't. This girl might wear make up and dresses, that doesn't make her a bad person or a whore, her heart can be as kind as anybody else down the street. As for your remark about beauty, I rarely wear make up, I'm not a top model although I'm good looking, and my ex still finds me beautiful as well as the guys who hit on me. Beauty isn't about make up and short dresses, it's about the vibe that you give to people (and granted, how well you take care of yourself, a bit of gym and water doesn't hurt anybody..). You need to find a man who shares your beliefs, who will introduce you to his friends and family. Don't cry on this guy, realize that he wasn't the one, and move on, toward a future better than the crumbs he was throwing at you. And stay off facebook, you're just hurting yourself. Or block him. But stay clear off his page. Edited July 9, 2012 by Samilia
tusharsolanki Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 samilia- relax.. i dont want to feed her fake hope too.. she is just as much in pain as i am.. dats why i also told her not to expect any great realisation on his part... as as for you youdunsay.. i totaly agree with samilia here wen she says that u just have to move on.. he seriously wasnt the guy for you.. accept that fact.. it will be easier to move ahead towards happiness then.. you will find a guy who will respect you as you are.. just love wisely this time. and remember you are not alone..
Samilia Posted July 9, 2012 Posted July 9, 2012 samilia- relax.. i dont want to feed her fake hope too.. she is just as much in pain as i am.. dats why i also told her not to expect any great realisation on his part... as as for you youdunsay.. i totaly agree with samilia here wen she says that u just have to move on.. he seriously wasnt the guy for you.. accept that fact.. it will be easier to move ahead towards happiness then.. you will find a guy who will respect you as you are.. just love wisely this time. and remember you are not alone.. I'm addressing the poster, your answer, that I didn't read, has nothing to do with mine, so no worries.
Author youdunsay Posted July 9, 2012 Author Posted July 9, 2012 Was I too naive? That was his idea to keep a secret.
Samilia Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Was I too naive? That was his idea to keep a secret. Yes hun. If someone asks you to take it slow and be just friends at first, that's fine (as long as he doesn't hide you..), but you should never agree to be kept a secret. I know you want to take it out on someone, but she isn't to blame, he is. It's ok to have been fooled because for me the best way to learn is from my mistakes (and sometimes I need a few classes on the same subject...). So next time, you be on someone's facebook!
Author youdunsay Posted July 10, 2012 Author Posted July 10, 2012 I noticed he went for her because she dressed more glamourously, even on normal occasions. So does that mean that we have to overdress to keep a guy? But I agree that may be she's just normal girl though they are dating secretly as well now. And yea the picture of them is posted by her anyway.
Samilia Posted July 10, 2012 Posted July 10, 2012 Today I got a "you look beautiful" and "you're going to turn head". I was wearing jeans (nice jeans, but still jeans) and a summer top, with my comfy shoes (I don't wear high heels, never cared for them). I hair dry my hair but I don't put any product in it (it's all about the right brush) and the only make up I had on was mascara. So anyway, you don't have to wear expensive clothing or clothing that show too much to feel sexy and desirable. I will also add that to another guy I could be too round, too tall, too short (doubt it! ) etc etc etc... find the guy who will find you beautiful, don't change radically. We can always improve but I do believe one shouldn't become someone else, someone they don't recognize. I like being me. 1
Author youdunsay Posted July 11, 2012 Author Posted July 11, 2012 moving on is tough. i have to self admit that parts of me still miss him. like how i wish our relationship should be like.
tusharsolanki Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 moving on sucks... trust me. i know.. but thats what people do wen theres no other option... i cant tell you anythng new... people here in this forum are much more experts in matter like these.. but one thing they'l say thats common is that you are better off him.. trust me... you are better off him.. the hard part is tryng to move on... and sadly no one can make you do it... you have to do it yourself by being strong and determined.. i hope you get back to your life soon.. i'l pray for you.. cos i know how hard it is.. i cant stop thnkng abt her.. still love her.. i melt wenever i see her msgs of forgiveness... but somethng holds me back from replyng.. dats super hard.. i still thnk of her getting back.. just like you.. but we shouldnt.. its hard but also the only way to recover.. smile !!
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